


Negotiations.

by Gedry



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Arguing, Bad Decisions, Communication, Communication Failure, Consensual, Developing Relationship, First Kiss, First Time, Fucking Machines, Hallucinations, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Masturbation, Masturbation in Bathroom, Oral Sex, Post series finale, Pre-Slash, Relationship Discussions, Relationship Negotiation, Rimming, Rough Oral Sex, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-01-24 15:09:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 53,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21340252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gedry/pseuds/Gedry
Summary: “Given the change in our circumstances, I’d like to negotiate the rules surrounding our...partnership.”  Ed announces while still looking at the fire.  “Before we delve any deeper into our bat related planning.”Oswald sips his scotch and raises his eyebrow, “Rules?”  This is new.  Between the two of them the rules have always gone unspoken, misunderstood.“Clarity may be something one longs for with age,” Ed offers with something like a shrug.
Relationships: Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma/Riddler
Comments: 374
Kudos: 434





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please give love to coppercowries who created Three from Two while reading this story.  
[**Three From Two**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21505756) [**coppercowries**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coppercowries)  


Negotiations

“Given the change in our circumstances, I’d like to negotiate the rules surrounding our...partnership.” Ed announces while still looking at the fire. “Before we delve any deeper into our bat related planning.”

Oswald sips his scotch and raises his eyebrow, “Rules?” This is new. Between the two of them the rules have always gone unspoken, misunderstood. 

“Clarity may be something one longs for with age,” Ed offers with something like a shrug. He’s still off somehow. Oswald is struggling to figure it out. To superimpose the Edward Nygma sitting here in front of the fire with him to the man he watched get dragged away screaming in court ten years ago. 

The sound of Ed screaming out his name has haunted his dreams off an on ever since. 

Oswald has never responded well to Ed in pain. Emotional or otherwise. He’s come to accept that he’s a fixer by nature. Much of Ed’s struggle takes place inside his own mind. Oswald sighs before taking another drink. Ed mind is only slightly less difficult for him to navigate than his heart has proven to be...and those attempts have failed utterly. 

“Go on,” Oswald offers dryly, when it becomes clear Ed is waiting for some kind of interest from him. 

He’s shocked when Ed turns to face him, tugs the drink out of his hand and places both their glasses out of harm's way on the side table. Oswald watches suspiciously as Ed gathers both of his hands in his larger ones and squares his shoulders before announcing, “Our relationship has alway been...nebulus. I’ve found I struggle without structure, defined boundaries, shared understanding of common goals.” Oswald struggles to focus while Ed licks his lips, long, delicate fingers tracing over Oswald’s knuckles, just beginning to be arthritic. “I had significant time to ponder the concept of us. Our history, the way we always seem drawn back into each other’s orbits, the deep sea of emotion that seems to carry us along even when we deny it.”

Oswald snorts, desperate to drag this evening back onto comfortable ground. Ed is too close to old feelings that Oswald has never been able to totally rid himself of. “Careful, Old Friend. You sound almost poetic. Too much wine?”

Ed closes his eyes and shakes his head, “No, and you know it. As I said, I had time to contemplate the truth about us. My truth. I’m not as fractured as I used to be, but even at my most broken the one thing He and I both wanted was…you. You, Oswald. I’m tired of lying to us both. I’m tired of denying myself a chance at happiness. I want you. I want to be with you in every way you’ll allow. I love you, and I’m so so sorry it took me this long to be able to say this.”

Tears, Oswald can feel them rolling down his face. His stupid weak heart surging back to life after ten years of ice cold solitude and promises to never allow himself to be so exposed again. “I can’t do this,” he manages to croak out. He’s shaking. A tiny, swelling vibration all through his body. He’s cold, tired, lonely...and suddenly so broken. “You can’t expect me to do this.”

“Of course not,” Ed agrees with a frantic nod of his head. “I’ve had time to decide what I want from this partnership. You’ve not had this luxury. I was simply hoping to discuss terms. However, if you find yourself unwilling to even consider allowing me the privilege of your companionship more intimately. I need you to know I will leave and not bother you again.”

“Edward,” Oswald chokes out, “What. Do. You. Want?”

Ed smiles then, like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. “Tonight? Tonight I want to rest my head in your lap, with your hand on my chest, and rest in front of this fire. If you’re willing, I’d ask that you allow me to follow you to bed.” At Oswald’s panicked jerk of his hands away from Ed’s warm hold he stammers to add, “NOT for that. I just...don’t want to be alone on this first night back in the world, and I thought perhaps you might feel the same. I just want to share a room, not even the bed. That would require further negotiations which we are not prepared for at this hour of night.” 

“You’re head...in my lap,” Oswald feels like his head is stuffed with cotton. Thinking is suddenly hard, he feels dumb, numb, exhausted. 

“Breathe,” Ed orders, reaching up to cup the other man’s cheeks. “Oswald. You’re having a panic attack. You have to breathe.”

“My chest hurts,” Oswald gasps out, suddenly yanking on his vest, trying to wipe his face. “Is this real? What’s happening to me?”

He goes under the weight pressing against his chest. The world fades away.

And then returns. It takes him a long time to realize he is staring at the ceiling of the safe house from where his is reclined on the couch. Ed’s frantic murmurs from where the other man remains kneeling on the floor repeating “Please come back, please wake up. I’ll never mention it again. I’m sorry.”

Oswald reaches out and pats him on the hand that’s clutching his vest and shirt. “If we do this,” And why he is even considering this he does NOT know. “I won’t tolerate any others.”

“Just us,” Ed answers immediately. “No one else, ever again.”

Oswald nods, “We talk about EVERYTHING before it happens. Nothing without express verbal consent. I won’t be rushed or bullied into something I’m not sure I want and I won’t be made to feel broken and ugly because you want something I can’t give.”

“Of course,” Ed blurts, almost before Oswald finishes speaking. 

“Sitting on the couch with your head in my lap is acceptable...tonight. This does NOT give you permission to perform this act again without checking.” Oswald can feel the hysterical laughter trying to bubble up in his gut. He’s never participated in a contractual obligation conversation that was half as bizarre as this is. 

“And sharing a room?” Ed asks...his voice so soft, Oswald thinks this might be what Edward Nygma sounds like when he feels hope.

“I’ll consider it while you’re resting in my lap.”

That seems good enough for Ed who smiles like a child on Christmas. 

“Will you pet my hair?” He asks as he struggles to his feet kicking off his shoes and loosening his tie. 

“Don’t make fun of my weight!” Oswald’s cheeks flame red. For the life of him, he cannot understand why that came tumbling out of his mouth.

But Ed stops moving, looking at him with his head cocked to the side in consideration for a moment before crawling onto the couch and leaning closer to whisper, “You’re lovely. Every bit of you, Oswald. Tomorrow, would you be open to discussing general expectations and actions that fall into the safe category for both of us? I want to make certain I respect your boundaries and I have a few of my own I need to discuss with you.”

Oswald nods, Ed slips down, head pillowed on Oswald’s thigh, his face angled in, toward his belly and it feels like the most natural thing in the world for Oswald to reach up and run his fingers through the dark brown locks atop Ed’s head. Ed sighs, body unwinding so completely Oswald can see the tension lifting away.

“I love you,” Ed whispers.

“And I you, Old Friend,” Oswald murmurs in response. His head already full of things which need discussion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald wakes to the sun pouring in through the windows. He’s warm, the bed is soft and sheets are clean. There are no bars to trap him, no yelling of angry inmates down the corridor, no schedule that must be followed. There’s just the sun. 
> 
> The sun...and Ed. 

Negotiations - 2

Oswald wakes to the sun pouring in through the windows. He’s warm, the bed is soft and sheets are clean. There are no bars to trap him, no yelling of angry inmates down the corridor, no schedule that must be followed. There’s just the sun. 

The sun...and Ed. 

Sitting on the floor halfway across the room, his long legs twisted up like a pretzel in well worn pajamas that are far too short for his frame. There’s something about the exposed skin at his wrist, waist, and ankles that makes Oswald want to trace the veins long hidden under suits and ties. 

Ed’s beautiful in the daylight, his hair falling in his face, wearing this ridiculous dopey grin while he stares at Oswald with this look like he might be more important than air. 

For just a moment, Oswald panics. This has to be a dream.

“It’s not,” Ed answers his unspoken question. “I had the same moment of shock when I woke up. It’s all real.”

Oswald all but collapses back into his nest of blankets. “I thought it was the most wonderful dream for a second.” 

Ed’s chuckle is sleep rough, deeper than after coffee. Smokey almost, rich and enticing. When did he start thinking of this man like this? Again? Something about Ed always tugging him back. He groans and drags his hands over his face. 

Last night trickling back to him, sitting on the couch until the fire burned out, having to wake Ed from an easy slumber, agreeing to the ridiculous request of sharing a room even though they have so many unanswered questions. So many roadblocks, so much history. 

“How was the floor?” He questions, struggling to find some distraction from his internal turmoil. 

“Hard,” Ed snorts, “But ever so much better than Arkham. I have no complaints, and the company has been divine.”

“Edward….” Oswald’s not entirely sure why he’s so put off by this...flirting. He sighs and drags himself upright in bed before turning to the other man and saying “We need to talk.”

“Indeed,” Ed nods before stretching, and damn him, the shirt he’s wearing rides up to show a tantalizing strip of pale skin.”Would now be preferable? Or later perhaps?”

He almost blurts out NEVER, but rational thought prevails. “Let’s at least open negotiations now, so that we can eliminate immediate concerns.”

“Diplomatic,” Ed offers before standing up. “Would you be willing to allow me access to the bed so that we can sit eye to eye?”

Oswald motions broadly, but is secretly pleased when Ed chooses to sit with his back against the foot of the bed instead of next him, leaning on the headboard. It feels safer, respectful. 

Once he’s settled, Ed offers, with just the touch of a blush on his wonderfully high cheekbones, “I’d like to reiterate my request and my understanding of last night to verify accuracy.”

When Oswald nods he goes on to say, “I love you, Oswald. I want to continue our previous partnership in a far more intimate way. I understand you have boundaries and would like to have what will likely be a number of dialogs about each of our comfort levels so we can both be clear related to what the other of us needs. Are you willing to continue?”

Oswald nods again. Tongue feeling fat and useless inside his mouth. There’s so much of this that feels surreal, he’s struggling not to just think he’s gone mad. 

“You would like there to be an understanding between us that no others should come before our commitment to each other. I wholeheartedly agree. My only interest is in you and I offer you my word that I will never again make the mistake of putting anyone else above what we have together.” He takes a deep breath then and Oswald is comforted by the sudden understanding that Ed is just as uncomfortable as he is. “I offer you the same assurance,” Oswald replies when Ed starts to twist his hands in the blanket at the foot of the bed.

It seems to settle the other man and Ed swallow before beginning again, “Thank you. I also understand you don’t want me to comment on your weight. So I can understand specifically what is out of bounds, would you be willing to explain your fear to me?”

“Ed,” Oswald snaps, this is too much. “Are you on drugs?”

“Several,” Ed responds without rising to the bait. “I’ll need to arrange access to my psychotropics now that I’m no longer incarcerated, and soon, before my stability is threatened. But, yes, I am. And you’re deflecting.”

Oswald glares. Ed waits. 

He waits a long time, before whispering, “Please, Love. Please reach back for me. I know you’ve always been the one doing the reaching while I shoved you away and ran from you again and again, but I need your help now.”

Oh, he always did know how to dig the knife in deep. 

“I’m fat,” Oswald blurts. “I’m old, weak, crippled, arthritic, ugly, and fat, Ed. I think you’re having some kind of bizarre psychosis right now and haven’t noticed how different I am.”

“I don’t agree with you,” Ed replies, his gaze steady, and Oswald can see the truth there. 

“I need you to not make fun of me,” Oswald offers hesitantly. “I don’t want you to tell me I eat too much, or compare me to some giant sea mammal. I won’t have you grabbing onto my skin and shaking it around. I just...I can’t bear it anymore.”

There’s a beat of silence between them where Oswald feels his heart pounding and can see rage flaring behind Ed’s eyes. The unspoken clarity around Oswald’s treatment in Blackgate looming between them. 

Then it passes and Ed simply states, “Understood. Would you like me to limit where and how I touch you?”

And that leaves Oswald at a loss. “You want to….touch me?”

Ed huffs, wiping his hands across his face. “Exasperating, you have always been so…...complex. The one puzzle I can never solve. I want to touch you. Desperately, in fact. If you’re willing to allow physical contact I’ll be grateful for the chance to have access in any way you’ll allow.”

Oswald takes a deep breath before reaching back as Ed had requested and raising his hand, trembling though it might be, and asking, “Hold my hand?”

Ed nearly slides off the side in his hurry to clamor up the bed to sit next to Oswald and thread their fingers together. He pulls Oswald’s hand to his chest and asks “Is this something I can do any time?”

Oswald leans cautiously into his shoulder and nods, “Yes, please.”

“It’s the same for me,” Ed assures him, squeezing his hand and leaning against the headboard to close his eyes. 

After a long, loving gaze at his...partner? Oswald does the same. 

They soak in the sun. Together.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed has had the patience of a saint. They have reviewed expectations, discussed limits, and…talked about their insecurities at least once every day. Ed has never violated his boundaries and out of a need for equality Oswald has worked diligently to do the same. It’s been a struggle. This experience has solidified even further the truth Oswald had already known about himself.
> 
> He’s terribly selfish.
> 
> Greedy even.

Negotiations – 3

He sinks deeper into the hot water of his bath. Oswald’s eyes slipping shut as he breathes in the  
warmth of the air in his bathroom and the soft scent of citrus that Ed must have added to the bathwater for him. How the man knew Oswald disliked the stereotypical lavender scents used in relaxation, Oswald will never know.

The care and consideration Edward has shown him in the two weeks since they have stumbled into freedom has been unexpected, sometimes uncomfortable, and often unbelievable. But the longer it continues the more Oswald has started to believe those tiny touches on the shoulder, the hesitant brush of fingertips across his cheeks, the delicate way Ed links their fingers together might remain stable.

For the first time, Oswald risks the chance to hope he might be able to hold onto to happiness.  
Even though he’s so afraid.

Ed has had the patience of a saint. They have reviewed expectations, discussed limits, and…talked about their insecurities at least once every day. Ed has never violated his boundaries and out of a need for equality Oswald has worked diligently to do the same. It’s been a struggle. This experience has solidified even further the truth Oswald had already known about himself.

He’s terribly selfish.

Greedy even.

The rules are so simple:  
1\. Nothing without discussing it first. Outside of the commonly agreed upon short list of always  
comfortable options there is no negotiations in the middle of something happening.  
2\. If they try something new after agreeing to the experience, there is always a discussion about  
how each of them felt during the process.  
3\. Either of them can tap out at any time.

So simple. So hard for Oswald to follow.

When Ed leans against his shoulder Oswald struggles not wrap his arm about the other man’s lean form. When Ed rubs the back of his neck leaning over plans their discussing Oswald finds himself reaching out to rub the discomfort away before remembering he hasn’t been cleared to touch there and then is crippled by his fear of having to ask and being rejected. When Ed hugs him Oswald can’t stop himself from pressing kisses into his shoulder.

They’ve never discussed kissing at all. But he can’t stop himself, even though he feels guilty, and Ed never noticed years ago when they first lived and worked together. So Oswald justifies his violation of their rules by telling himself over and over that it doesn’t really count if Ed doesn’t notice.

Lies.

Enough, this train of thought was not helping him relax. Oswald gives up on the bath, grabbing the sides of the tub and hauling himself upright. He steps out onto the tile floor with his good leg and lifts his other up to get out of the claw foot tub. The floor is slick. He’s distracted. It’s a recipe for disaster. His foot slips out from under him, Oswald slams to the floor with the back of his bad leg smashing into the ledge of the tub as he bangs his head on the floor.

He screams. The pain is terrible.

Moments later he finds himself still on the floor, staring at the ceiling, in pain and alone. He’s frankly not sure he can get back up by himself.

Thankfully, he doesn’t have to try.

“Oswald!” Ed’s exclaims as he enters the bathroom. “I heard something. Are you alright? Never mind, you are clearly not alright.”

Oswald snorts. Ed always had a tendency to talk to himself out loud when stressed. “I can’t get up,” Oswald acknowledges even though he’s horribly embarrassed.

“Would you let me help you?” Ed asks quietly. Oswald turns his head to glare at the other man. Ed is…quivering, clutching his fingers together.

“Are you alright?” Oswald blurts. “You’re shaking.”

“I’m afraid you’re going to say no,” Ed answers, shaking out his hands. “It’s very hard for me not to just rush in and make certain you’re unhurt, to offer comfort. But if I do, I’m concerned you’ll shove me away.”

“I feel like that all the time around you right now,” Oswald responds. He’s naked, probably bleeding, lying prone on a bathroom floor. He’s fairly certain he has no pride left.

“We should talk about that,” Ed murmurs.

When he doesn’t move past the doorway Oswald suggests, “Maybe we can discuss it somewhere more comfortable?”

“You never answered me,” Ed reminds him, but he’s moving, going back into the bedroom and returning with Oswald’s robe faster than Oswald can panic that he’s being left.

“Oh,” Oswald breathes. “Yes, please. You are so much better at this than me.”

“At what,” Ed asks as he comes closer.

“Asking,” Oswald gasps as Ed reaches out to examine the back of Oswald’s head with delicate touches.

“Am I bleeding?”

“No,” Ed chuckles. “Your head is too hard for that.”

Oswald swats at him ineffectively. He relaxes as Ed drapes his robe over his now chilled frame. Grateful for the warmth and the return of what little dignity he might still possess.

“I’m going to have to touch your hurt leg,” Ed announces. “Is there anything I can do to make that less intrusive for you? Gloves perhaps?”

“God, no!” Oswald blurts. Eye welling with tears. “No gloves, too clinical.”

Ed nods but hesitates before reaching out and cupping Oswald’s ankle and effortlessly lifting his  
damaged leg over the lip of the tub, raising it in the air, and tracing his hands along the map of scars and disfigurement that makes up his limb. Oswald counts down from one hundred in his mind to avoid thinking about how this must look, the state of his own undress, and the heat coming from Ed’s body.

Then Ed traces his fingertips across the back of Oswald’s exposed knee and it’s like he was struck by lightning and then started to melt into a puddle of eroticism.

His knee? Oswald sometimes wonders if everything about him was made wrong somehow. Who starts to get an erection from someone touching the back of their knee? Ed’s not even trying, he’s just diligently checking for further injury. But when he goes to take a final pass before letting go, Oswald feels his face flame and blurts out “Knees. Please no touching the knees.”

Ed hesitates, clearly rethinking the last few minutes in the room. But then he nods and says, “Agreed. No knees. Give me your hands and up we go.”

Oswald groans in shame as Ed pulls him to his feet then helps him into his robe. Oswald limps to the bed with his head down. “Well,” he announces once he’s there, pulling himself up to his tallest height. “Now you know.”

“Know what?” Ed asks with his brow furled.

“How hideous I am.” Stated with finality.

“I now know how deeply ridiculous you are,” Ed counters with an overly dramatic eye roll.

“But you’ve seen it,” Oswald insists.

“Seen what?” Ed snaps. It’s the first time since their reunification that Ed has shown even an ounce of losing his cool.

“My leg!” Oswald raises his voice. This is more comfortable. A fight is better than this terrible  
tenderness. “The whole of my disgusting body!”

“I saw your leg when you were shot in the woods, you insufferable ASS!” Ed bellows back. “What is wholly disgusting is the entirety of your lack of self-WORTH!”

“Don’t yell at me!” Oswald yells.

“Stop assuming you’re hideous!” Ed yells back, fists clenched, shoulders shaking. Oswald takes a step back from what he first thinks is rage. But then the tears come. Ed never cries.

“Ed,” he says much more softly. “What’s wrong?”

“You are!” Ed snaps. Spreading out his arms wide before flopping them back to his side. “You’re so wrong about you and me and everything, Oswald. I try to give you what you want, but you, it’s YOU that won’t leave it alone. All the time these derogatory comments about yourself. I can’t stand it. It has to stop. You don’t want me to make fun of your weight. Fine. I can do that. It never even crosses my mind. What I need is for you to stop berating yourself day in and out about YOU. Can you give me that?”

“Example?” Oswald asks.

Ed stares at him like he’s contemplating homicide for a moment before straightening up and announcing like he’s speaking to an audience “Last night we went for a walk. Remember the wall of mirrors in the window of the store we walked by?”

Oswald nods.

“You tripped me,” Ed exclaims, “jerked me to the other side of your body from where I had been walking the entire time. When I asked what was going on do you remember what you told me, Oswald?”

Oswald shakes his head. He honestly doesn’t.

“You told me you wanted to be on the right side because you’re blind on that side and at least that way you wouldn’t have to look at how horrific you looked. You actually said ‘Like a pig and penguin had a giant waddling baby and left it for the wolves.” Ed’s panting.

Oswald stares at him. “Are you serious?”

“You don’t even realize you’re doing it, do you?” Ed asks. Clearly exasperated beyond belief.

Oswald snorts. Then chuckles. Then, at the outraged look on Ed’s face, he gaffaws. “I’m sorry,” Oswald chokes out. “That’s over the top even for me. I’m so sorry.”

Ed relaxes. Then smiles. Then, finally laughs with him. They laugh until they feel exhausted. Oswald collapses onto his bed.

“Thank you,” Oswald says when Ed turns to sit next to him on the mattress. “Yes, I can give you that.”

Ed smiles, brushes the hair off Oswald’s face, looks at him longingly, like he’s memorizing his face, and then rises to leave. Maybe to go back to whatever he was doing when Oswald fell. It seems so long ago. He doesn’t want Ed to leave. But he can’t bring himself to ask him to stay.

Can’t bear the rejection.

“It’s easier for me than being vulnerable,” Oswald offers when he gets to the door. “I feel really  
exposed and embarrassed tonight. But in general, being weak is a fear of mine. And I struggle so much with fear.”

“As do l,” Ed nods. “Thank you for telling me.”

Oswald nods. There’s a pause. Something hanging between them. But it goes nowhere and Ed turns to leave looking lost and uncomfortable. 

Oswald opens his mouth. Shuts it again. Opens it.

The door slides shut silently after Ed exits the room.

“Will you hold me?” Oswald asks the empty room. “Please?”

It doesn’t answer.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed doesn’t come out of his room the following morning. Oswald knocks at midday, concerned, but not panicked. There have been days since their reunification where one or both of them have been occupied with projects. 
> 
> He hears Ed muttering to himself from inside the darkened room, but the other man doesn’t respond to his knocks.

Negotiations - 4

Ed doesn’t come out of his room the following morning. Oswald knocks at midday, concerned, but not panicked. There have been days since their reunification where one or both of them have been occupied with projects. 

He hears Ed muttering to himself from inside the darkened room, but the other man doesn’t respond to his knocks. 

Oswald leaves him be. Choosing to spend his day on other personal interests. He has numerous avenues to pass the time. 

Truthfully, all of that is bullshit. Oswald sits in front of the fire by himself and frets the day away about what’s happening inside that room and what it means for his relationship. 

Relationship. 

He and Ed are in a relationship!

“I’m a total idiot,” Oswald rumbles as he hauls himself off the couch and heads for the kitchen slightly after dark. For the next three hours he’s up to his elbows in food and pans. Trying desperately to remember how everything he needs in the kitchen is supposed to work. Cooking was not something he got the chance to apply as a skill during his incarceration. 

He struggles to get the tray up the steps to Ed’s room depending on hope and the traitorous capabilities of his injured limb. It’s not graceful, but he manages not to spill anything. Once he gets everything safely set down on the table in the hallway he knocks again and when he hears shuffling but no verbal response announces with much more authority than he feels, “Edward, I’m coming in. I’ve brought you food.”

He throws the door wide, clicks on the light, in for a penny, in for a pound he supposes, picks up his tray and hobbles to the other man’s bedside. Edward watches him with watery, red rimmed eyes, and scowl that would have surely scared a saner man. But Oswald knows he has long since lost all good sense when it comes to his often taciturn love. 

“Go away,” Ed grumbles, crossing his arms and sitting up as straight as he can in the bed. He’s disheveled, a days growth of stubble on his pale face, hair sticking up everywhere, jaw clenched, Oswald wants to kiss him stupider than he’s already acting. 

“After you eat,” Oswald orders, “non-negotiable, I’m afraid.”

Ed glares at him for a long minute before slumping back against the pillows in defeat. “What is it?”

“Soup,” Oswald shrugs, “It was all I could scrounge up.”

Edward allows Oswald to place the tray in his lap. He sniffs at the bowl after Oswald lifts the lid off the tray. Ed asks, “You had this delivered?”

“No,” Oswald offers as he looks around the room for a chair to sit in, a wall to lean on, something to do with himself before he falls over from his nerves.

“But how did you get it,” Ed seems perplexed. “We don’t have anything like this in the pantry.”

“We had the ingredients,” Oswald grumbles. 

Ed stops sniffing, turns his full attention to Oswald and asks, “You MADE this?” He looks poleaxed. “For...me?”

Oswald slumps onto the bed after having found no other alternative to sit on. “Of course! It’s just soup.”

“For me…” Ed whispers to himself clearly, even though Oswald can overhear him at this close range. “Why?”

Oswald blinks. “Excuse me?”

“Why would you go through all of this effort for just me?” Ed questions, but he’s occupied by picking up a spoon and stirring his way into the soup. 

“Because I love you, you idiot,” Oswald blurts just as Ed takes his first spoonful into his mouth and promptly seems to choke on it. He grabs for the tray to protect his effort from the impending coughing fit. 

Once Ed has finally gasped air back into his lungs and settled against the headboard for a second time, Oswald places the tray safely back into his lap. “Are you alright?” 

“Superised,” Ed answers but then he’s all but devouring the soup and the french bread Oswald brought with it. It’s all gone in scarcely a few moments and Oswald offers, “I can get you more?”

“No,” Ed shakes his head and reaches long arms across the tray toward Oswald. “I don’t want you to go.”

“You just told me to leave?” Oswald is so confused. 

“That was before the soup,” Ed offers as though this somehow makes it all make sense. He places the tray back on the nightstand and clasps Oswald’s hand in both of his before whispering “Thank you.”

“We have to talk,” Oswald blurts. He sees Ed’s shoulders tense.

“Yes,” Ed agrees, but he sounds so sad. “We do. I’m not having a good day, Oswald.”

Oswald raises his eyebrow. “That’s a tad obvious.”

Ed snorts. “No, seriously, I...have some things I need to tell you and I should have already done it. But I’ve been afraid of..well lots of things. But they mostly add up to being rejected.”

“I think our content might be different,” Oswald replies, “But the reason behind it sounds as though it’s the same.”

Ed nods. But he doesn’t talk. His mouth opens. Then it shuts. Then it trembles as though tears are about to come and Oswald can’t take it anymore. 

“I’m afraid to ask you for anything,” he blurts and Ed’s head snaps up until their eyes meet so quickly he’s worried about the other man’s neck. “I have these....urges. In the moment. All kinds of things. Calling them urges makes them sound indecent, and ridiculously, they are much simpler than that. I keep waiting for you to change your mind and leave. I keep thinking about how terrible and selfish I am every time I raise my hands to touch you in a way you haven’t said is okay. I knew I was selfish but this seems to just drive it home to me in a new way daily. Some of the things I want are unfair because I’m not sure I want them from you. And I need to stop. I have to stop letting fear dictate our relationship. And, Ed? As stupid as you’re going to think I am, it took me until about four hours ago to realize we are actually IN a relationship. Not just deciding if we should have one or not. I’m sorry for that, because I’m fairly certain between my ignorance about our circumstances, my own issues with myself, and my fear about what may or may not happen, I haven’t made this fair, easy, or comfortable for you.”

Ed opens his mouth to speak and Oswald shakes his head in the negative before going on to say, “No! Please let me finish this. I love you. I’m in love with you. I have been for what feels like forever and that will last the rest of my life. There are no others, there never have been, and I feel completely inadequate because I barely even tolerate people and I want to spend every breath I take with you. I’m not going to let myself mess this up. Last night, you left my room and I spent half the night sitting in my bed asking an empty room if it would hold me. I just couldn’t bring myself to ask you when I could have. I kept practicing, hoping you would come back, or I would finally feel like I got it right, and neither of those things happened. So clearly, I need to take charge of my own destiny here and just be willing to risk with you. I have a number of things I would like to ask your opinion on and perhaps, if your willing, your permission for. Would you be willing to hear the most urgent ones right now?” 

Ed gives a shaky nod. His fingers dug into the comforter like it was a lifeline. 

Oswald takes a steadying breath. “I’d like to touch your face right now.” He blushes, squeezing his eyes shut to fight the urge to run in the face of Ed’s odd look. “Your stubble,” Oswald explains with what he hopes is a dismissive way of his trembling hand. “I’ve never seen you like this and I want to know what it feels like against my fingers. And, I’d like your permission to crawl into bed with you and cuddle you up against me.. I want to...hold you. You seem so alone right now and I want to comfort you. I want to...stay with you tonight. In the bed with you and feel you beside me breathing in the dark. And maybe, if it’s not too much, some time during the night you could curl up around me? I’ve heard of this concept of a little spoon, and I’d like to experience what it’s like to be that with you. And if you could talk to me, tell me more about what you’re afraid of? I want to know so I can help you see that whatever it is we can get through it together. I mean, we’ve managed to get through everything else life has thrown at us together and we weren’t even trying to help each other most of the time. There are other things, things that can wait until later. But, I want you to know I like that you call me Love and Little Bird, and I’d like to call you something similar, if you wouldn’t mind?”

He runs out air, and energy. Almost panting with anxiety and relief. It actually feels better to get some of it out. 

Ed stares at him, chewing his bottom lip before seeming to shake himself free of whatever spell he was under and blurting, perhaps a hair too loudly, “YES!” 

“To which parts?” Oswald asks, wincing as he thinks perhaps he should have gotten a response for each request as he went. It would make this less awkward. 

“All of it,” Ed announces with a grin. “Every bit, and probably the things you think are indecent and then some.” 

Oswald laughs. Ed chuckles along with him before tugging on Oswald’s hand, bringing to his cheek to nuzzle his cheek into Oswald’s trembling palm. Silence falls and all Oswald can hear is their breathing and the pounding of his heart. He reaches out his other hand to cup both of Ed’s cheeks and slides his hands down from his cheekbones to his throat and back up over and over. 

“Good?” Ed whispers. 

“Divine,” Oswald breathes. He can feel Ed’s smile as much as he can see it. 

Then Ed is tugging back the covers and sliding over to make room and Oswald is slipping off his house shoes and sliding into the bed beside him after turning off the overhead light. Ed slides into his arms, tucking his head under Oswald’s chin and sliding his long legs around Oswald’s shorter ones in a delightful tangle. 

“Tell me,” Oswald whispers into the dark.

“I had terrible dreams last night,” Ed answers softly. “It happens to me sometimes. Nightmares, or memories sometimes. A mix of both last night. I woke up over and over and I’m exhausted. When it happens….He’s...closer to the surface than he usually is. He’s less patient than I am. He’s kept at me all day, to go to you and MAKE you talk to me. To just take what I want from you because he thinks you really wouldn’t mind. He doesn’t want to HURT you. I need you to know that. He thinks the way you and I have been going about this whole thing is going to screw it up and he wants you, you matter to us both so much.”

“He thinks he’s right all the time,” Oswald states. “Like you and me.”

Ed smiles. “Yes, I think that’s right.”

“Ed,” Oswald holds him tighter, “Are there actually three of us in this relationship?”

Ed laughs until tears roll down his face. “No, Love. He’s a part of me, born out of my own feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. He’s just...protective. Used to be just of me, I think. Even though we never agreed on anything but you. But now, protective of you too. He thinks I leave too much to chance. Wanted me to confront you today about last night and about me feeling like I’ve been carrying the weight of all the vulnerability in this relationship on my own. But clearly, that’s wrong. You’ve proven that tonight and I’m so grateful. I have more to tell you, just about my own feelings of not being enough, but I’m so tired. I promise, tomorrow. All of it.”

“Thank you,” Oswald whispers, “In the morning, I’m planning to ask you if I can sleep with you every night, just so you’re prepared.”

“Good,” Ed whispers back, “In the morning, when you ask, I’ll say yes.” 

He yawns, Oswald can feel Ed’s body starting to unwind against his own. “Can I kiss your face?” Oswald asks before he loses his nerve. “Not..on the lips ...but your forehead, your cheeks, the top of your head?”

“Of course,” Ed murmurs as he nuzzles against Oswald’s neck. 

Oswald spends the time before he falls asleep pressing tender kisses to every part of Ed’s face he can reach.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald looks back on the morning after his big realization with nothing but fondness even a month after the event. They had both been rumpled, confused, embarrassed, and full of hope. He remembers the blush high on Ed’s cheeks as he had stumbled from the room to shower. Oswald watching him leave from still within their nest of blankets before flopping onto his back and grinning like a complete fool at the ceiling.

Negotiations - 5

Oswald looks back on the morning after his big realization with nothing but fondness even a month after the event. They had both been rumpled, confused, embarrassed, and full of hope. He remembers the blush high on Ed’s cheeks as he had stumbled from the room to shower. Oswald watching him leave from still within their nest of blankets before flopping onto his back and grinning like a complete fool at the ceiling. 

Dragging himself from the bed before Ed returned from the bathroom, clean and warm, and possibly naked had been one of the hardest things he ever had to make himself do. Truely, after decades spent causing harm to people for personal gain, doing the right thing was often something Oswald struggled with. But love and respect born from caring and investment had won the day. He only felt a little bit guilty for bringing himself off under his own shower spray. Especially after Ed turned a delightful shape of pink upon first seeing him in the hallway. 

It’s somewhat concerning that over a month from their newly agreed upon commitment and plan to mutually take risks with one another that neither have them have managed to move past cuddling, hand holding, affectionate touches, and brief kisses in places that a mother would give her children. 

But love and lust are two different things, Oswald has long known this. He has loved Ed for much of his life. But thinking of the taller man as a sexual partner, contemplating sharing his body with him, those thoughts have only started to develop since the end of their incarcerations. Oswald has never been interested in pleasures of the flesh shared with another person. There’s always been too many variables, not enough trust, and no one particularly interesting. Frankly, he’s always been enough for himself. Watching other people suffer through the dramatics of sexual love and the confusion it caused had always made it seem like a concept to avoid. 

Besides, he and Ed had always had enough drama without adding sex into the mix. 

But still, he’s not opposed. Not at all. Interested even, possibly longing, secretly hoping, aching for some kind of sign Ed may be feeling the same. 

Effectively, Oswald sighs as he gets up to drag on his coat, he’s love struck mess. It’s a little disturbing. 

But Ed has never addressed the issue with him, and Oswald is hesitant to bring it up without some proof that Ed might want him the same way.

He knows it’s foolish, but Oswald has yet to find a better way to figure the situation out. Ed is the one with experience. Though the thought of where his experience lies makes Oswald cringe. Oswald hasn’t even kissed anyone. He’s poorly equipped to address this. Out of his depth in a way he rarely feels as a man pushing toward fifty. 

God...he’s old. 

And fat.

And...Nope. Not going there, he made a commitment to Ed about this issue. He means to honor that commitment as best he can. 

Winter has crept up on them. Oswald looks out the bright windows of their home into the garden, watching the snow falling. The ground is covered, a blanket of winter covering everything around them. It makes him smile, everything looking fresh and clean. 

“Ready?” Ed asks as he comes into the room to stand beside him. The other man’s hat, coat, and gloves already in place. 

Oswald chuckles, “Are you even going to be able to walk with all that on?” 

Ed rolls his eyes with no small amount of affection shining in them. “I’ve always been prone to suffering from the cold. Just because you’ve always seemed immune does NOT mean I am.”

There are so many comments he could make right now, about blubber, or his waddle, but he bites them back. Ed must know he’s doing it because he presses a tender kiss to the side of Oswald’s face before tugging the knit cap a little farther down Oswald’s head to cover his ears.

A winter walk in the woods. Who in the world would have thought he would end up here?

How is this his life?

They hold hands as they leave the garden, meandering through the tree line before Ed stops to look at something and Oswald moves a few steps ahead. Ed’s taking some time, bent over the ground and while Oswald appreciates the view of his covered backside, it’s cold, this is getting less romantic the farther they get from the house. And Oswald has always been an asshole of the highest caliber so he doesn’t feel bad at all when he grins and announces, “You didn’t bring me out here to bury me did you? As recall the last time you went for a walk in the snow-covered woods it was with Jim and it didn’t turn out well for you.” 

He’s expecting a response, he’s just not expecting Ed to lob a snowball at his face. 

Ed’s cackling, Oswald is sputtering, struggling to wipe the wet mess off his cheeks. When he can finally open his eyes again whatever his face must look like is enough to stop Ed midlaugh. The other man blinks owlishly, then turns and flat out runs away. 

“EDWARD!” Oswald bellows. “I’m going to get you!” 

What follows is likely one of the most ridiculous events of his life. Two grown men, both criminal masterminds, out in the woods behind their house, in the middle of a full on snowball fight. Ed is fast, much faster than Oswald and he has better accuracy. But Oswald is a master strategist in his own right, He dodges a number of hits, bides his time, and is finally able to slam one right into Ed’s face. The taller man howls out “MY GLASSES!”

Too late, Oswald doesn’t care about that. He knows Ed has at least three backup pairs in the bedroom chest. He rushes Ed while he’s still complaining and tackles the taller man to the ground. He wishes he had a better understanding of the topography of the area. Oswald doesn’t take into account the incline behind where Ed has taken up position. 

They end up rolling down the hill. 

Oswald lands flat on his back with Ed on top of him. He lets go of the lapels of Ed’s winter coat and does his best to smooth the snow off his love’s shoulders. It’s the least he can do. He’s laughing, enjoying the frivolity of it all, despite the cold. It’s that distraction which prevents him from noticing sooner that Ed’s lost his glasses on the way down the hill, but more importantly, the person staring back at him from Ed’s eyes is certainly NOT Ed. 

Oswald has seen them trade places before, in less ideal circumstances. But faced abruptly with the Riddler, Oswald freezes. Uncertain, why he’s come out now, when everything has been going so well. 

“Ozzie,” Riddler breathes, warm air brushing over Oswald’s face, “My rumpled little bird.”

Oswald opens his mouth, both of them panting, but he can think of nothing to say, and licks his lips very aware of Riddler tracking the movement. 

An instant later, Riddler is on him, long arms reaching out, hands clamping down on Oswald’s wrists and pinning them to the ground above his head. Oswald gasps when his wrists end up restrained in one large hand while Riddler reaches out and tugs on his hair, pulling Oswald’s head into a different angle. He’s about to protest, but then their mouths are together, Riddler devouring him with kiss that speaks of ownership, passion, longing, and determination. 

It’s shocking. Oswald can’t think, doesn’t know what to do. He’s gasping for air when Riddler releases him from the kiss just long enough to suck Oswald’s lower lip into his mouth and bite down. 

It’s not enough to break the skin, but there will be a mark later. Oswald can feel his heartbeat pounding in the tender flesh trapped between Riddler’s teeth. Riddler’s tongue following the release of his lower lip, soothing the bite before pushing inside. Riddler’s weight shifting, rocking against him until Oswald whimpers and parts his thighs around the other man’s weight allowing Riddler to grind down into him. 

It feels amazing, Oswald is overwhelmed. He yanks his arms and is rewarded with being set free, Riddler cupping his cheeks in freezing fingers. Oswald slams his hands into Riddler’s shoulders but can’t bring himself to try to push the other man away and instead drags his body closer, returns the kiss as best he can, feeling clumsy and shaken. Riddler groans, so loudly and deeply Oswald feels it in his own chest.

A moment later, Riddler licks his way across Oswald’s mouth one final time before rubbing his face across Oswald’s, nuzzling their freezing cheeks together. Oswald whines, squirming, wanting more, wanting Ed back. 

Frustrated. 

“Little Bird,” Riddler sounds so pleased, “I was right, you want us as badly as we want you.”

Oswald’s breathing so quickly he’s afraid he’s going to pass out. 

“We desire you,” Riddler growls into his ear. “Want to take you, be inside you, kneel at your feet and allow you to use us. So many filthy, decadent things we will do together. The three of us. So beautiful, you are such a match for us. Worthy. Little Bird…” Riddler take a steadying breath then, his head jerks to the side and he winces. “Not a lot of time. He’s going to be so very angry with me for this. Little Bird, you won’t see me as much any more. With your help we’re almost whole for the first time since we were small. But I’ll always watch over you. You must know that. You are loved. Above everything and anyone. You’ve been the only one to hold my heart. We’re dedicated to you. We ache for you. Tell me I’m right. Just this one time, tell me you want us too.”

Oswald blinks. They’re frozen there in that moment until he sees Riddler wince again. Hands, so cold on Oswald’s face now trembling. “He’s coming,” Oswald whispers. “Coming to get me.”

Riddler nods, “Please, beautiful little bird. Just this once, let it be me.”

“Of course,” Oswald murmurs, tugging Riddler down to brush their lips together one final time. “I want you. I love you. Riddler...I acknowledge you here with me.”

Tears well in the other man’s eyes. With one final nuzzle of his cheek, Riddler whispers “Thank you.” 

Then he’s gone. 

Ed jerks away from Oswald as though he was on fire. Trembling, panicked, hyperventilating on his hands and knees in the snow. 

“Oh God,” Ed gaps. “Oswald. I’m so, so sorry. Forgive me. I can't ...I'm just.... Please. Oh, I’ve ruined everything.” 

Before Oswald can do or say anything Ed lurches to his feet and flees back up the hill and toward their home. 

Oswald remains where he landed in the snow. Fingers brushing across his own lips, looking at the sky. 

Wondering what this will mean for them all.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m pretty sure, when I asked, you told me this wasn’t a threesome,” Oswald jokes when he finally limps his way back into the house from the woods. He’s wet, worried, miserable. 
> 
> But there’s a spark in his belly that hasn’t been there before. He’s excited to see where this is going to go.

Negotiations - 6

“I’m pretty sure, when I asked, you told me this wasn’t a threesome,” Oswald jokes when he finally limps his way back into the house from the woods. He’s wet, worried, miserable. 

But there’s a spark in his belly that hasn’t been there before. He’s excited to see where this is going to go. 

Edward looks decidedly less thrilled. Still sitting in a chair by the fire, Ed is a soaked, unkempt, mess. “Ed?” Oswald whispers as he approaches the other man. Ed’s just staring into space. He doesn’t respond until Oswald cups his cheek in his still chilled fingers and even then it’s only to push Oswald away.

“Don’t” Ed murmurs. “I don’t trust myself right now.”

“It’s ok,” Oswald offers as he slides off his coat and hat, edging closer to his love, hoping for some resolution. “You told me,” He reminds the other man, “How he came to be, how he protected you from your parents. I know he’s always with you. I’ve met him before. He seems...fond of me.”

“He’s in love with you,” Ed blurts, “always has been, even before I was, I think.”

“I can see that now,” Oswald agrees. His cheeks flame. Ed turns to him, movements robot like and removed. 

“He attacked you,” Ed accuses. 

“He kissed me,” Oswald corrects. 

“Without your consent!” Ed argues. 

That causes Oswald to pause. “Well...yes. And I greatly appreciate that you have been so patient with me as to not do that.”

Ed looks at him like he’s crazy. “Oswald,” Ed begins slowly as if talking to a child, “You DO understand that I’m completely psychotic? He’s a multiple personality born from PTSD related to my childhood trauma. Designed to protect my psyche from years of abuse and funnel my rage without me having to develop coping mechanisms. I’m insane.” 

Oswald raises his eyebrow, “Your point? I’m a narcissist, antisocial, deviant. I fail to see why we are sitting here in wet clothes trading diagnosis right now. We could make better use of our time.”

“By doing what?” Ed asks. But his tone is less brittle. More connected to the here and now.

“By discussing why we have pointedly NOT been discussing our urges to move this relationship from romantic to....passionate,” Oswald announces as though he doesn’t have the pinkest cheeks in the room. He’s still cold, that’s all, wind burn. He’s certainly not blushing. 

Ed blinks. “Excuse me?”

“What?” Oswald snaps. “I want to know why you haven’t EVER mentioned that you wanted to do...THAT with me?!”

“Because you’ve never shown the tiniest interest in doing ...THAT with ANYONE!” Ed bellows. “I’ve done copious research. Oswald Cobblepot has NEVER engaged in so much as a heavy petting session with ANYONE in his entire life. Why would I think I would be any different?”

“Because you are YOU, you giant imbecile!” Oswald shouts. “Because there has never been another human being to ever walk the earth that was meant for me BUT YOU so why would I waste my time settling for less than the best?! Edward Nygma, get it through your enormous brain that you have always been my exception to everything. The rules do not apply to YOU.” 

“Oh,” Ed blinks. “I thought perhaps passionate relations were not something you were interested in.”

“So you just planned on never having any with me?” Oswald is so lost. 

“If that was what you needed, then yes,” Ed replies with a shrug. “I love you. Whatever your boundaries are, they are to be respected. I’ve not always felt this way, but I had ten years to review my past beliefs and find out where I was morally bankrupt.”

“Ed,” Oswald takes a deep breath and if he believed in God he likely would have prayed for patience. “Can we NOT have you do research and make assumptions about my boundaries without me? I’d like to participate in those discussions ...or at the very least be aware that you’re having them without me.”

Ed nods, slowly, like he’s processing something, or possibly arguing with himself. 

When there’s no verbal response Oswald tries to fill the vacuum in the room with,”And heavy petting? Really, Ed? Are you actually an octogenarian?”

When his comment is met with additional silence Oswald finally reaches out to give the other man a little shake. Ed blinks, head turning slightly and for a moment Oswald wonders if Riddler is coming back. But instead Ed finally replies with, “I’m terribly sorry. He’s...telling me how you taste. It’s very distracting and frankly upsetting.”

“Because I taste, bad?” Oswald asks. Lord, that would be truly horrible. 

“What?” Ed snaps back into himself fully. “NO! It’s just infuriating. You were kissing him and not me.”

“So,” Oswald swallows, “You’re jealous. Of yourself?”

“YES!” Ed shouts. “It’s ridiculous! It’s not fair. You’re MINE!”

Oswald snorts. “To be totally clear here. You did just say he loved me before you did. I think that makes me his.”

“So you’re taking his side?” Ed huffs. 

Oswald finally burst out laughing. “Which side, exactly, is his side? I just want to make sure I know. Honestly, Ed. I’m thinking of going for whatever side of you is willing to kiss me again.”

Oswald’s not sure what he’s expecting. But Ed leaping to his feet and snatching a hold of him is certainly not it. But it is clearly Ed in the driver's seat right now. He can tell by the softness in his face, in the tender way he gathers Oswald to him. 

If that wasn’t enough, the softly spoken plea of “May I?” Whispered into his ear would have been all the proof he needed. 

“Please,” Oswald breathes. And then after a lifetime of nothing, Oswald is gifted his second kiss of the day. 

It’s...slow. Just gentle brushes of Ed’s soft, slightly chapped lips against his own. Oswald squeaks, as embarrassing as it is. But something about the noise must resonate within Ed because the other man lets out a groan deep in his chest and in response Oswald opens his mouth and sucks on Ed’s lower lip. Ed shakes all over. His hands traveling from Oswald’s forearms to his shoulders, his sides, and finally wrapping around him. 

Their shirts are damp and cold. Oswald hisses at the press of the wet fabric into his skin. Ed shivers again and Oswald tries to soothe him with the tender swipe of his fingertips down his chest. But instead Ed moans and grabs at his hands before pulling just slightly away, long enough to murmur into the skin of Oswald’s cheek, “Careful, please. Not my nipples.”

“I’m sorry,” Oswald rushes to apologize. Thinking of some terrible night in Ed’s childhood. Something must come through in his posture or tone of voice because Ed chuckles, shakes his head and presses a quick, closed mouth kiss to Oswald’s lax mouth before correcting his assumption with a rumbled, “Nothing bad. Just...sensitive. I like it too much. You’re welcome to explore them in detail later after we talk about our willingness to do more than kiss.”

Then he’s licking his way into Oswald’s mouth and for the next few minutes Oswald struggles to remember what there is in the world more than kissing. He wants to do this forever. 

Ed’s arms surround him, holding him close and careful like he’s the most delicate thing in the whole world. Oswald’s hands can’t stop moving, into Ed’s hair, around his shoulders, down his back, up his sides. Ed’s almost constantly whimpering now. Oswald can hear a slightly nasal whine in the room and he blushes when Ed pulls away and he realizes the noise is coming from himself. 

“Oh, Love,” Ed whispers, pressing his face into Oswald’s neck and holding him tightly. “He was right, you taste amazing. Thank you.”

Oswald hugs him back, smiling and trembling. “I know we have agreed to not discuss new terms in the middle of events or when in emotional turmoil. But would you be willing to consider an open invitation to kiss me however you want, whenever you want?” 

“I accept your terms,” Ed chuckles and shivers again. He pulls his head back, slowly releasing Oswald from his grasp. “I’m freezing. At the risk of asking for far too much tonight, would you be willing to share a hot bath with me?”

Oswald must look shocked. His mouth opens and closes a few times before he can answer. He knows it’s taking a while, because Ed tries to take a step back but can’t because Oswald has his fingers knotted in the fabric of Ed’s shirt. “Yes,” he finally manages to get out.” It must not be what Ed was expecting because the smile that breaks across Ed’s face is near blinding. “But,” Oswald adds, Can I get in the tub before you come in?” 

“If you want,” Ed chuckles. “But I lost my glasses, I can’t see anything right now really. You’re just going to be vaguely Oswald shaped from across the room. I’m terribly near sighted.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Oswald offers as they turn to head up the stairs. 

“No you aren’t,” Ed laughs. “You know I have spares. Now, you go and grab our robes. I’ll get the bath going.”

Oswald presses a kiss to the other man’s lips before turning to go into the bedroom already yanking on his shirt. 

“And, Oswald,” Ed calls before stepping into the bathroom. “Thank you. Sincerely, for what you said to...him. The space inside me where he lives has never felt more alive.”  
“Don’t thank me,” Oswald says with a shake of his head. “I love you both.”

He goes for the robes then. They both pointedly ignore the way Ed stops, looking at himself in the mirror. It’s only a second, but Oswald swears he can see over Ed’s shoulder a reflection of the Riddler, smiling, hand pressed to his chest, with tears in his eyes. He looks utterly at peace. 

And then it’s gone and Ed starts running water into the tub. 

Oswald can’t help but smile.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sitting in the warmth of the tub surrounded by steam with the man he loves is likely the best experience of Oswald’s life.

Negotiations - 7

Sitting in the warmth of the tub surrounded by steam with the man he loves is likely the best experience of Oswald’s life. 

Mind you, the whole process of getting settled had been awkward at best. Thankfully, Oswald knew full well Ed was telling the truth about his nearsightedness. The man almost never took off his glasses. So at least he was secure that Ed hadn’t been ogling him from across the room while he tried to slip into the water as gracefully as a man with a bad leg can. 

Waiting for Ed to join him had been an exercise in self torture. Oswald swears that man is made up of nothing but endlessly long legs with a brain on top. He’s all angles, and open spaces. It took everything Oswald had in him to not just blatantly gape at ...well...everything. 

You know...EVERYTHING.

But, then he had been distracted by the scars. 

Oswald has known Edward Nygma for almost seventeen years. He has seen the other man in many different stages of undress over that time, but he has never...ever seen him like this. Oswald has known about the abuse Ed suffered at the hands of his family. He’s known, at his heart, that it must have been truly horrific for it to bring the Riddler into being. 

He had underestimated what Ed survived to become the man his is. 

“Stop,” Ed had whispered when he had finally settled in to lean against the far side of the tub Oswald had installed in their home. After so many years incarcerated, Owsald never wanted to feel cramped again and hot baths were a luxury he had missed very much. “We can talk about all of it later, if you need to. But not now, not like this. Let me just enjoy this with you.”

And they had let it drop, just like that. A topic for another time. 

Oswald’s lulled into a drowsy state by the warmth surrounding him. His head tipped back, his eyes closed. Then Ed murmurs, “I love your neck.”

Oswald smiles, “I’m not entirely sure I have one…” He laughs then when Ed splashes him. “I’m kidding,” Oswald relents. “Seriously, thank you. It’s not a feature of mine I’ve ever spent much time considering.”

Ed hums. Then, after a few moments, “May I touch your feet?”

Oswald’s feeling a little brazen, having gotten this far today, far farther than he thought they would get in a year. “Fetish?” He teases. 

Ed snorts, “You’ve found me out.” He pulls his hands out of the water like he’s being held at gunpoint. “Guilty as charged.”

Oswald rolls his eyes, but prods Ed’s hip with his toes to show his consent. He can’t help the ragged groan that falls out of his mouth when Ed picks up his foot and starts to massage it between his large palms. 

Ed smiles. “You’re lovely.”

“You can’t see a damn thing,” Oswald laughs. 

“True,” Ed agrees. “But the noises you make more than make up for the lack of picture.”

Oswald sighs, relaxing again into the water. 

“You have things you want to do with me,” He comments. It’s not a question, but it might as well be.

“Yes,” Ed nods, squeezing his heel and moving up his foot to the ball. “Many things.”

“Does he also have things he wants from me?” Ed stops moving for a beat before swallowing and answering with a more quietly spoken, “Yes.”

Oswald knows he’s making Ed uncomfortable, but this is something he needs to understand fully before he can go forward more than this. “Are they different things?”

Ed lets go of his foot before picking up the other and starting the process over again. He doesn’t answer for a long time, staring into the water of the bath. Then, just as Oswald is about to move, to do something, he doesn’t know what, the taller man answers, “Yes.”

“Interesting.” Oswald raises his eyebrow. 

Ed seems to snap out of his own head and blurts, “That’s it?”

“For now,” Oswald answer honestly. “I just wanted to make sure I understood.”

Ed blinks. His hands pause again. “You don’t seem ...bothered by the revelation.”

Oswald chuckles, “Beloved, I am well and truly out of my depth now. All of this seems strange and new to me. Having you and he agree is odd enough, but to want me...um...carnaly? Uhm. Well. That’s the part I’m struggling with. Not that you both have...needs.” 

Ed blushes scarlet out of the blue, his eyes wide. 

“Ed?” Oswald asks. 

The taller man blinks, shakes his head, pressing his palms to his eyes. “I’m so sorry,” He groans. “We’re both very close to the surface tonight. He’s rambling, I think wanting to assure you how wanted you are. But, Lord. It’s....colorful. I’m embarrassed.”

Oswald smiles. “That makes me feel good.”

Ed looks at him like he’s crazy. “Pardon?”

“It’s comforting that you’re a little out of your comfort zone too.” Oswald shrugs. 

They lapse into a comfortable silence until the water starts to chill. A silent agreement for Ed to leave the tub first, drag on his robe and return to aid Oswald in getting to his feet. 

“No slipping this time,” Ed teases before pressing a kiss to Oswald’s temple. 

“Please, no!” Oswald snorts. “That was horrible.”

“I was just glad to be there,” Ed comments as they move about the bathroom preparing for bed. “I’m sorry about your knees. I was unaware they caused you so much discomfort that you dislike them being touched.”

Oswald blinks. He’s tempted to just go along with the assumption, but…”No. Not painful. It was...too good.”

“Well, Hell,” Ed huffs after dragging a towel through his hair. “He was right.”

Oswald grins at himself in the mirror. 

“I hate when he’s right,” Ed grumbles as he heads into the bedroom to pull on his pajamas. 

Oswald follows behind, still grinning. They settle into bed, the darkness making him brave, “To be honest, I’ve never felt even a spark of interest in any other person in my life, Ed. Even for you, until very recently, I only thought of my love for you in a romantic context. But as we’ve gotten emotionally close I’ve had thoughts, urges, to be closer to you physically. But I need you to understand, today was my first kiss. There’s no wealth of experience here. I’m struggling to understand what I want with you and I don’t have any historical context to draw from. I’m not unwilling. Heaven knows. I am FAR from unwilling. But I need things spelled out for me before hand so I can feel safe, prepared. Is that acceptable?”

“Of course,” Ed answers with no hesitation. 

Oswald swallows before checking, “I need that assurance from both of you, please.”

Ed takes a deep breath before tensing in Oswald’s arms, “Never again without your say so, Little Bird.” Comes the answer from Ed’s body, but not Ed. 

Oswald waits, uncertain what will happen now that he’s called the Riddler out. He gasps as he’s gathered closer, tugged into a tight embrace and...held. Riddler burying his face into Oswald’s neck. Oswald can feel him smile against his skin. He risks pressing a kiss to Riddler’s temple. The other man hums against his skin before drawing back and tracing his fingertips delicately around Oswald’s false eye. 

“Is it comfortable?” Riddler asks, tracing a path around the eye again. “Are you in discomfort?”

“It’s good,” Oswald whispers into the dark. “Ed did a good job building it for me.”

Riddler snorts, “Ed wasn’t the one that created that for you. He was too much of a mess to do anything productive while you were struggling to orient to the lack of vision. It was the best I could do with limited materials during the reunification. If you want to change, I can build you a better one now.”

“It’s good,” Oswald repeats. Struck by the realization that he had been sorely unaware of how deep Riddler’s affection for him had run for so long. “Thank you.”

“One day,” Riddler leans in and presses their foreheads together, “I’ll make you one that can see.”

And, Oh. Oswald has never heard a clearer I love you from anyone. He leans in, kissing that wicked mouth as deeply, as ardently as he dares. Pleased when his partner whimpers and clutches at him in response. But then Riddler pulls back abruptly, Oswald whines, only to be shushed. “Sorry, Little Bird. But restraint isn’t me. I need to go now and let Ed guide us both through what comes next.”

Oswald smiles, “Thank you, Old Friend.” He runs his fingers through the other man’s hair as Riddler slip away and Ed slides back to him. Ed sighs, relaxing fully into Oswald’s embrace. “If I had known you could get him to behave I would have married you years ago.”

Oswald chuckles, “Who says I want to marry you?”

Ed dips his head and nips at Oswald’s neck playfully in reply. Oswald gasps, electricity shooting up his spine. “I like that,” He announces clearly. 

“Noted,” Ed replies. He sounds..smug. 

“Tomorrow,” Oswald starts and then has to stop and swallow before he can continue, “Would you be willing to list and discuss some ...options...for further intimacy?”

“Alphabetically or numerically?” Ed offers. “Perhaps in order from most desired to least? Or maybe by how long I’ve been thinking about them?” 

Oswald groans. “You are horrible.” But then uses Ed’s hair to drag him back into a lingering kiss that makes relaxing to sleep seem very far away. 

Ed’s panting and clutching the back of his nightshirt by the time they are done. “I love you,” He whispers into Oswald’s cheek. 

“And I you, Beloved,” Oswald assures with a smile. 

He settles in to sleep then, with Ed’s head pillowed on his chest, long arms surrounding him, his own cold feet pressed into his partners warmth. 

Perfect.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed comes prepared with a list. 
> 
> It's a long list. 
> 
> It’s a detailed list.
> 
> It’s...terrifying.

Negotiations - 8

Ed comes prepared with a list. 

It's a long list. 

It’s a detailed list.

It’s...terrifying.

Oswald’s frozen with his eye glued to the pages while Ed rambles, “I wasn’t sure what the best way to organize this was so I thought I’d do bullet points and we can flush things out from there. Perhaps I should have asked for your input ahead of time but you were sleeping and I was motivated so forgive the rushed handwriting, it was hard to do without my dominant hand, but you were laying it and too adorable to move. Do you think we should just start at the top and go down? I’m sorry, you’re still reading. I’ll just begin and you chime in where you so desire. I included the obvious as potential starting points because I believe some clarity related to our preferences for penetration should be gained before moving onto more extensive discussions such as rimming, which you can find in column three.” 

Oswald loses track of the conversation at that point. 

“Oswald,” Ed questions when he notices that Oswald has stopped in his review of the provided literature. “You need to breathe.”

Oswald blinks, he’s sweating, his eye is blurry, He feels sick. 

“Breathe!” Ed orders before reaching over and snatching the explicit list out of Oswald’s trembling hands. 

That’s enough to bring the world back into focus. 

“I’m sorry,” He gasps, leaning his head back against the chair and taking long, deep breaths. “Ed,” Oswald comments as he wrings his hands. “I hate to disappoint you, truly, but I think your list may be a bit too...detailed for me.”

Ed blinks. Eyes wide. Oswald can see the gears turning in his brain. “I’m sorry,” he offers when Ed doesn’t comment. “I...it’s just...I don’t know how I feel about any of those things. Up until a few months ago I didn’t even think I would ever kiss you, much less...anything else. I know it’s foolish and I feel terrible but I can’t deal with all of this at once and…”

“We’re not disappointed,” Ed interrupts with a broad wave of his elegant hand. “Not at all. We’re horrified we put you in this position. This was a terribly callous and insensitive way to approach this and please know you have my sincerest apologies. It was never my intent to pressure you or lead you to believe there was an expectation of greater investment than you are currently comfortable with. My goal was to simply provide as much information and opportunity for discussion as I could. I misstepped. Forgive me.”

The tension evaporates in the room. Oswald heaves a sigh of relief. “No forgiveness needed, Beloved. Just a miscommunication. I appreciate your level of detail and organization, but maybe we could...back up several steps and start with things I know I’m interested in, even though they probably seem foolish to you?”

“Nonsense,” Ed shakes his head, smiling, “All great plans start at the beginning. Let’s flush this out together.” 

Oswald returns his smile, though it trembles a little around the edges. “I’d like to give you a massage with your shirt off.” 

“Agreeable!” Ed replies with no hesitation. 

“And I want to...touch you,” Oswald blushes. “Honestly, I don’t know what the specifics are related to this request. I just want to touch your skin, explore your body.” 

“I only ask that if you have questions about my scars you ask those questions outside of an act of romance. I’m sensitive about them,” Ed shrugs. “Honestly, I’m concerned you’ll be disgusted by them.” 

That...makes Oswald feel better about his own body issues, “I can give you that.” 

“I’d like to...squeeze your flesh,” Ed blurts. Then he turns pink. 

“Excuse me?” Oswald counters. Because…..what?

“I know you struggle with your body,” Ed begins and closes his eyes, biting his lip before continuing with, “Please don’t be angry with us. But I used to fret over how small and delicate you were. Afraid that the next event, the next adventure would result in your incapacitation. After the grenade...it was so much worse. I know he told you he made your eye. I still, ten years later, feel like I failed you utterly at my lack of action before and after. So now, with you like this, you seem more...sturdy. I don’t worry about you breaking. I know you don’t love yourself like this, but you’re very attractive to me. Healthier, I want to squeeze you, feel your strength.”

It takes Oswald a long time to process, but he finally settles on being okay with Ed’s explanation. But still… “What about him?”

“He just wants you to push him around,” Ed answers, his face so red it’s like he’s on fire. 

Oswald erupts into laughter. “What?!”

“He adores all of you,” Ed admits with a small smile. “But...let’s just say when I said we wanted different things from you....this is a good example. Part of Riddler’s attraction to you is the dichotomy between Oswald and Penguin. I would prefer that any intimacy we share be loving and tender. While he appreciates the tenderness, he’s also excited about the prospect of annoying you until you just....take him.”

“Take him,” Oswald repeats dumbly. 

“Yes,” Ed squirms. “As you are now, you’re strong enough to restrain him, manhandle him, cage him in, pin him down, and because we trust you so explicitly, he craves that release.”

“And you don’t?” Oswald clarifies. 

Ed opens his mouth, blinks, cocks his head slightly like he’s listening to someone else and then finally replies with, “Not...currently. I bear the scars of other people’s misuse of my body. I don’t think I’m comfortable with being that vulnerable right now. I’m not willing to rule it out completely in the future.”

“Noted,” Oswald nods before offering hesitantly, “I’m open to your desires related to my person.”

Ed’s eyes widen, “Thank you, Oswald. I had thought that request, phrased so bluntly might be too much for you. I appreciate your flexibility.” 

Oswald beams, happy to have been able to meet Ed where he was on such a sensitive topic. It’s the relief associated with Ed’s gratitude that probably impacts his filter so that he blurts out “I want to watch you masturbate.”

Ed chokes on his tea. 

Undeterred, Oswald keeps going, “I want to watch you orgasm. I want to hold you while touch yourself, maybe ...stroke you while you guide my hand. I’m hazy on that part. Nervous. But, I know I want to hear the noises you make.”

Ed’s put his tea down, dabbing at his shirt to soak up the spit out tea. “We’re...quite excited about that.” 

Oswald can’t stop the bubble of laughter that escapes as Ed goes from dabbing his shirt to fanning himself with the napkin. He’s relieved when Ed chuckles with him. 

“I think I’ll need to work up to that,” Oswald warns. But as their eyes meet he knows that’s alright. They have time. They’re heading the same direction. 

They finish their tea discussing other, bat shaped issues. Gathering up their dishes to carry them back into the kitchen. 

“I’d like to penetrate you,” Ed murmurs as he starts to scrub the dishes. Like he’s talking about groceries. 

“I figured that out,” Oswald replies as he comes out of the pantry. “You want to penetrate me, he wants me to…”

“Fuck him?” Ed offers. “Yes. He’s insistent that is on the list assuming you’re agreeable.”

“I have no idea,” Oswald snorts. “I have no frame of reference.”

“Neither do we,” Ed says as he rinses and Oswald dries. “A lot of my bullets we are just going to have to figure out together. Any result to our experimentation will be acceptable. I hope you know that.”

Oswald nods, drying the last dish and offering the towel to Ed to wipe off his hands. “I’d like to push you against the counter and kiss you until our lips are swollen. Then tip my head back and let you bite my neck again while I untuck your shirt and slide underneath to feel your skin.”

Ed grins, “Would you be opposed to me grabbing your behind over your pants?”

“Nope,” Oswald smiles.

“Then, by all means,” Ed announces with his usual flair for the dramatic. “Do as you must!”

And Oswald does, with glee.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Authors note: Buckle up people.)
> 
> Not all days are good days. 
> 
> Oswald reminds himself of this fact time and again.

Negotiations – 9

Not all days are good days. 

Oswald reminds himself of this fact time and again. 

They are volatile people. Prone to emotional upset and outbursts with violent pasts and occasional murderous intent, even for each other. Oswald knows this, has accepted this, yet still, he’s unprepared for the level of upset when Ed and the Riddler find themselves at odds.

He’s ashamed to admit it, but it took him a while to notice. Distracted by the plans they were making for their next assault on the bat that has taken their city. Ed’s not been sleeping well the past week and has been more withdrawn than Oswald has been used to in recent months. So when long arms wrap around him from behind as he is finishing up marking the last of the map spread across their dining room table he just leans into the embrace with a contented hum, enjoying the closeness, the support of Ed’s body taking some of the weight off his leg. Until Ed goes from nuzzling his neck, freely offered, to nibbling, to flat out biting a little too hard.

Oswald barks out, “STOP!” He wiggles against the long fingers now clutching at him. When Ed doesn’t immediately release him he picks up his foot and stomps on top of Ed’s. Ed steps away immediately. “What is WRONG with you?!” Oswald snaps, turning to have it out with Ed about his behavior. 

But it’s not Ed staring back at him. 

Still…he decides not to say anything, not certain of the game being played. The Riddler has been nothing but affectionate with him the few times they have interacted. He’s not afraid. “Ed?” He asks. 

“Yes,” The Riddler replies. It’s then Oswald knows there’s a real problem. Riddler has never tried to be Ed. Their interactions with Oswald since their reunification have always been distinct. “Something wrong?”

“No,” Oswald steps to the side of the table, tries to give them both more room. “Why did you bite me?”

“I wanted to know what it felt like,” Riddler answers, cocking his head to the side before asking innocently, “Did I bother you?”

“You’re supposed to ask first,” Oswald reminds him. To be truthful, there have been times when both of them have forgotten the rules and they’ve learned to allow for slips. But something about this doesn’t feel like a mistake to him. 

“My apologies,” Riddler replies with a smile that is decidedly NOT sorry. He steps forward, Oswald steps back. He watches Riddler’s brow furrow up as they continue this dance across the room toward the doorway. “Are you avoiding me?”

“No,” Oswald answers. He’s almost to the door. Just a few more steps and he can lock Riddler in and figure out what’s happening from the safety of the other side of the door. 

He doesn’t get the chance. Ed’s body, under Riddler’s control, lunges for him, missing on the first grab as Oswald twists away but the second makes contact, he squeaks and goes to yank away from the other man. He loses his footing on his bad leg and they both accidentally topple to the floor. He’s disoriented, Ed’s taller frame covering his own.

For a moment, Oswald ponders what he can do to incapacitate the other man. But then Riddler pushes himself up to look him in the eye and say, “What’s wrong with you?” 

He looks…confused. 

“Riddler,” Oswald tries to use his most authoritative voice. “Get off me, now. I don’t like this.”

He’s released immediately. Riddler shuffling violently back across the floor until his back hits the far wall. His hands held up in surrender. “I’m sorry,” He offers immediately. “I’m upset. I should have stayed away from you. Forgive me. Are you hurt?”

“No,” Oswald says as he pushes himself up. “But you are going to tell me what the HELL IS GOING ON!”

He’s prepared for an outburst. The three of them are hopelessly dramatic.

But instead of yelling, Riddler promptly bursts into tears, wrapping his arms around himself and pulling his knees up close to his chest. Oswald watches the other man cry, rocking himself back and forth. He has no idea what to do.   
“You love him more than me,” Riddler accuses. “I’ve done everything, EVERYTHING for you and it’s him you want!”

Oswald’s poleaxed. “What?”

“ED!” Riddler sobs. “You’re in love with him. Admit it!”

“I am.” Oswald shrugs. He is. 

“SEE!” Riddler snarls. “I was RIGHT!” He leans forward, pointing at Oswald fiercely though he doesn’t approach him. “Do you know he wanted to shoot you in the HEAD on the docks that day? I was the one that stopped him. Don’t you remember that he was going to leave you to ROT in Arkham and it was ME that rescued you? I was the one that wouldn’t just leave you behind with the submarine! I built you that eye! I kissed you first! Why is he so much better than me?! Why am I not good enough for you?”

Oswald opens him mouth to correct his assumption. He does love Ed, but he loves Riddler too. He doesn’t get the chance. 

“SHUT UP!” Riddler screams, grabbing both sides of his head. “I’m not ruining EVERYTHING you are! You’re the one that doesn’t want to share! He belongs to me, too. You insufferable, petty, unwilling bastard. I protected you when you couldn’t protect yourself. I let you sleep while they hurt ME instead, over and over. You just used me, your whole life, and never appreciated what I did. Why can’t I be happy too. I just want him. You had all that time you wasted and he wouldn’t even say my NAME. You let him think I didn’t love him. Now you want me to go away again and I’m NOT doing that for you. I’m not doing anything for you anymore.”

It dissolves under the painful hiccupping coughs wracking Riddler’s chest as he struggles to keep talking to himself. He’s sobbing so hard the floor shakes under Oswald’s palms. There’s long periods of silences where Oswald understands it’s Ed talking. But they’re not coming to a resolution with each other and Riddler’s breathing is becoming so labored Oswald is afraid the man will pass out. He stands, walks to where Riddler remains pressed into a ball against the wall, grabs both sides of his face and forces them both to meet his eyes before commanding, “EDWARD! GO TO SLEEP. I will deal with you LATER.”

Riddler’s eyes squeeze shut for moment, when they open again he looks less tortured than a moment ago. He breathing starts to even out. Oswald moves to sit down against the wall beside him and asks, “What do you need?”

Riddler turns to him, fingers reaching out hesitantly to touch the lapels of Oswald’s coat. “I want to be real,” Riddler gasps out. “I want to matter. I want to have…you, a life, happiness. I don’t want to disappear and have no one care that I’m gone. That I ever existed in the first place. I’m here. I want you to see me. Please, don’t let him make me go away.”

Oswald opens his arms, Riddler all but throws himself into the embrace. “I won’t,” Oswald assures him. “I love you, and I just found you, and you’re not going anywhere.” He holds the other man through a fresh series of tears.   
When Riddler finally seems to even out he brushes his fingers through his hair and says, “Now tell me why you tried to be Ed with me today.” 

“How can you tell us apart so easily?” Riddler asks instead of answering. “Nobody else can.”

“Everyone else is stupid,” Oswald huffs. “You look totally different.”

Riddler manages a chuckle at that, it’s weak but it gives Oswald some hope. “We’ve been fighting, it started days ago.”

“Over what?”

“Christmas,” Riddler blurts, rolling his eyes. “We have very different ideas about gifts.”

Oswald can’t believe this is his life. “Seriously? Can you two not just get me two gifts? OR better yet, you’re grown men, LEARN TO SHARE.”

Riddler, at least, has the decency to look ashamed. “I thought...he said...that he was better for you. That you wanted him more, were more comfortable with him than with me. He said I could go. That he was safe now, with you, and didn’t need me. I was...superfluous. Unnecessary. We’ve been up all night. He got tired. I took over and thought…”

Oswald presses a kiss to his forehead, “Thought what?”

“Thought maybe if I could trick you into thinking I was him, even for a little while, you’d let me stay and maybe he would have to go.” Tears track silently down Riddler’s face. Oswald squeezes the back of his neck, feeling the tension there.   
“Old friend,” Oswald breathes into his hair. “I’m a selfish bastard. I have no intention of letting either of you go. But never try to trick me again.”

Riddler nods into his shoulder. They stay that way until Oswald’s back can no longer stand it. “Come with me upstairs,” He whispers. “Let me help you relax.”

Riddler looks confused, but follows helps him to his feet and holds his hand on the way to their room. “Take off your shirt?” Oswald asks. 

“Why?” Riddler asks. But he’s already complying. 

“So I can rub your back,” Oswald pulls massage oil out of the cabinet in the corner. “Unless you’re concerned about the scars?”

Riddler shakes his head. “Not my issue. But I thought you wanted to do this with Ed.”

Oswald smiles. “I want to do this with your body. Who is in the driver's seat wasn’t my concern. It’s an action I think I will be happy to repeat if you both enjoy it. So, Ed will get his turn too, or you can try to let yourselves enjoy it together?”  
Riddler looks far away for a minute. “He’s afraid you’re upset with him.”

“I’m irritated with both of you,” Oswald replies. “I think you’re both being ridiculous. But I love you both. We can work this out. We’ve survived everything else together, the THREE of us.”

Riddler stares at him for a moment before pulling his shirt fully off and sliding onto his belly on the bed. “You’re correct, Little Bird. We hadn’t thought about it that way.”

Oswald smiles, taking off his jacket, rolling up his sleeves. “Well I am a criminal mastermind.”

Riddler smiles, melting underneath the press of Oswald’s oiled hands. The scent of citrus fills the air around them. Oswald works down his spine, around his sides, over the jagged topography of what was clearly years of abuse. He spends a long time finding knotted muscles, working them loose. Riddler gasping and sighing. Oswald eventually tires, unused to this level of intimacy and exhausted from the events of what was already a busy day BEFORE this whole mess. 

“Thank you,” Riddler whispers, rolling over after Oswald wipes the oil off his back. At least, Oswald thinks it’s Riddler. His eyes are hazy, his arms limp by his side, palm up. He looks so open so much more like Ed. Maybe it’s both of them? “No one has ever done something like this for us before. It’s wonderful. Thank you for sharing it with us tonight.”

Oswald smiles, reaching out to cup their face. “You’re mine,” he whispers. “Every piece of you belongs to me. Understand? No more fighting.”

“Yours.” Comes the murmured reply.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald is in the place between sleep and waking. He’s warm, the soft blanket tucked securely around them. Comforting arms surrounding his body while he snuggles deeper into their embrace. They’re bickering.
> 
> They’re almost always bickering.

Negotiations - 10

Oswald is in the place between sleep and waking. He’s warm, the soft blanket tucked securely around them. Comforting arms surrounding his body while he snuggles deeper into their embrace. They’re bickering.

They’re almost always bickering.

He grumbles out a noise of discontent, pressing his face into one of their chests while wiggling his butt into the warmth of the other one behind him. He’s not sure which is where right now. 

“See?’ Ed comments, long fingers brushing through Oswald’s hair. “You’re waking him up.”

“YOU’RE waking him up,” Riddler responds. Sliding his palms over Oswald’s hips, tugging back against him more securely. “I’m just trying to make him feel good.”

“You haven’t asked him first if he is okay with this,” Ed responds. “He might not want to be touched like that while he’s asleep.”

“I’m following all the rules, Ed,” Riddler huffs. “Over the clothing, nothing sexual, don’t squeeze too hard. I understand the rules.”

“You weren’t following them yesterday,” Ed snaps. 

And yeah, nap time is definitely over. Oswald groans into the pillow he thought was Ed’s chest a moment ago. Rolling over to glare at ...well...both of them. 

“What’s wrong?” Ed asks. “You look confused.”

“I was dreaming,” Oswald rubs his eyes. “But I could hear you both arguing. For a minute, in my dream there were two of you holding me.”

There is a beat of silence before Ed reaches out with shaking fingers to touch his cheek and whispers, “There was two of us holding you.”

Oswald is determined he is NOT going to start off today in tears. Yesterday was enough. Speaking of yesterday…”Ed. We need to talk.”

He’s gratifies that Ed looks terribly guilty for a flash before his face breaks into a huge, toothy grin and Riddler rumbles, “I’ll see you later, you sexy rumpled bird. I love you.” Then, without barely any warning, Oswald is drug forward into his arms and kissed within an inch of his life. Riddler pours his affection and gratitude into the kiss. Oswald forgets about his morning breath and goes with the flow.   
The pace of the kiss slows, the passion turning into something much more solemn. It’s Ed who whispers, “I’m sorry,” against the side of Oswald’s mouth. 

Oswald glares at the other man. “Ed. What the hell?”

Ed flops back on the bed with a groan. He stares at the ceiling for so long without talking that Oswald finally loses his already questionable grip on his own patience and barks, “I’m waiting!” 

Ed’s whole body jerks. “I’m trying to explain it rationally, I’m a man of logic. But I’ve only just now realized that this had nothing to do with logical decision making at all. I was just angry.”

“About?” Oswald prompts. 

“That I can’t have you all to myself,” Ed mumbles. “He’s just always there, right behind me. He likes to upset me. Pushes my buttons. And then he suggested this absolutely horrible gift for you and we started fighting about it. Looking back on it, I don’t even think he was serious about it. I’m nervous about what to get you and he might have actually been trying to make me laugh. But I’m not used to that and I lost it.”

“You’re not used to what?” Oswald questions. There’s decades worth of mystery to unravel here and he’s honestly just curious as to how these two men have been able to share the same space at all.

“To him...helping me.” Ed huffs.

Oswald takes a deep breath while he decides if he really wants to open the can of worms that’s going to burst when he makes his next statement. But Ed is wrong on a fundamental level. Oswald can’t let him continue to believe that. “You’re wrong about that. You know that right? He’s always helped you. He came into being to help you.”

“Oswald!” Ed erupts. “How can you say that?! Our whole relationship is antagonistic. He is forever berating me, belittling me. He goes out of his way to ruin my plans, to distract me. And now....now we’re here with you and I’m just so afraid he’s going to ruin this for me too. I love you. I finally came to that conclusion and by some miracle you were willing to forgive me, accept me. I just don’t need him anymore. I have you and I’m happy. He’s a figment of my psychosis. A shadow, he doesn’t even really exist. He’s not a person. He’s not real.”

“ED!” Oswald snaps. “Don’t you EVER say that to me again! Was he lying when he told me he was the one who took the abuse from your family while he let you sleep? Was he misleading me when he told me you were planning to shoot me in the head? Was is really him that came to help me save the city?”

“No,” Ed whispers. His voice is painfilled, thick with holding back tears. “That’s all true.”

Oswald heaves himself out of bed, pacing. “Did you know he loved me? Did you hide that from me the whole time?”

Ed’s breath shakes as he exhales. He sits up in the bed, watching Oswald. “Yes. I knew. I hid it from you.”

“Why?” Oswald asks, arms flung wide. “Tell me why.”

“I still wanted a normal life,” Ed answers, face drawn and pale. “I didn’t want you, I didn’t want him. Isabella was dead, you had killed her, I was so angry. I wanted to kill you for lying to me, for hurting her. And he...didn’t. He was happy she was gone. He thought you killing her showed how much you valued us. That it was romantic. I wanted to punish both of you, so you could never know a part of me loved you even then. You would have aligned with him and I was afraid that would have been the end of me. I hated you and I hated him and you both deserved to be miserable.”

Oswald nods, slowly, arms wrapping around himself. He suddenly feels so cold. 

When he doesn’t say anything Ed pulls himself up to his knees and pleads, “Oswald, you have to know that I haven’t felt those feelings for a very long time.”

“Toward me,” Oswald replies. “You haven’t felt like I deserved to suffer for a long time. What about him?”

“What about him?” Ed looks lost. “He’s not important.”

“He’s important to me, Ed.” Oswald’s clenching his hands at his sides. White, hot anger boiling under the surface. “I love him, and he’s important to me. As important to me as you are.”

Ed looks stunned. 

“Did you ever think that maybe the problem between you two was YOU?” Oswald questions.

Ed’s mouth opens, “What?”

“Your unwillingness to appreciate his sacrifices for you, your lack of respect for his needs, your denial of your feelings, your own hatred of having to be dependant on him in the first place? Ed, I love you, you are so hard on yourself. Nothing you do is ever good enough for you and you are consumed by irrational guilt. He’s been with you his whole life. He kept you safe, pushed you past your limits, helped you become who you are, kept you from killing me. And maybe, you’re scared about messing this up, and you’re putting that on him?”

Oswald’s out of breath. He’s almost relieved when Ed mutters, “I need some time,” then turns, slides off the bed, and leaves the room. 

He’s gone most of the morning. 

Oswald’s unable to do anything productive. He’s attempting to read a book when Ed finally reappears. He’s been on the same page for over ten minutes when Ed asks, “Can I interrupt?”

“God,” Oswald sighs. “PLEASE!” Tossing the book to the ground and flopping back against the side of the couch. 

Ed huffs a nervous chuckle. “We...talked. We need to continue to talk, we have a significant amount of baggage to unpack. But, I think you might be right about a lot of things. I view everything he does through the lens of my own weakness. He hasn’t had the opportunity to develop good social skills because I keep him trapped as much as I can. I’ve never tried to work WITH him. Just to absorb him into me and now...well… now I can’t do that without hurting you both and I don’t want that. I’m afraid you will want him more than me, just like he is. So I kept trying to limit your exposure to him. I didn’t want to be the one you didn’t want and I didn’t want him to do something to you that made you feel unsafe. But it’s not my right to decide what is and is not safe for you.”

“So what do we do now?” Oswald legitimately has no idea.

“You were comfortable last night and this morning when were both with you?” Ed questions. 

“Absolutely,” Oswald confirms. “I have a harder time telling who’s in the driver’s seat, but we can work that out the three of us. Why?”

“Not all the time,” Ed mentions before going on to say, “The backrub. He let me share that with you, even though he was...hurt. I hurt him. It was good. It felt good for us both to be there. This morning, just holding you. It felt right. There are times when we feel like we could all share the experiences together. We think it might help us to...bond with each other and you if we are more open with each other. But we wanted your input.”

“I’m willing,” Oswald replies. “But I reserve the right to kick one or both of you out at any point.”

Ed smiles. “Agreed.”

They stare at each other in silence for a while until Oswald reaches up to rub his good eye. 

“Everything alright?” Ed questions as he moves closer. 

“My eye is tired,” Oswald complains. “I have a headache.”

“Can we help?” Ed offers as he brushes his fingers over Oswald’s cheek. 

“Read to me?” Oswald asks. “Hold me and read to me. I need to close my eyes for a while.”

Ed positively beams at him, his smile is so bright. “Of course.”

Oswald finds himself spending the rest of the morning and early afternoon snuggled on the couch while Ed and Riddler trade off reading the lines from different characters in the book. He eventually starts to drift off. As he slips back into dreams he swears he hears Ed whisper, “Truly, I am so sorry. I never looked at us that way.”

Riddler replies, “I know. Thank you.”

They press a kiss to Oswald’s temple. He hums his pleasure before drifting back into dreams.

(Author's note: The rating on this story starts to go up next chapter.)  
.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’re going to sit all the way over there?”

Negotiations - 11 

“You’re going to sit all the way over there?” 

Oswald freezes in the act of sitting down on the loveseat they have in their bedroom. “Is this a bad place to sit?” 

He honestly has no idea what the etiquette is for watching your loved ones pleasure themselves. Maybe there’s some kind of socially acceptable limit on distance.

Ed’s clearly thinking before offering back hesitantly, “No?”

Not helpful. 

Oswald sits the rest of the way down for no other reason than this looks like it’s turning from a doing thing to a talking about doing thing and his knee hurts. “You seem uncomfortable,” He comments. “How can I help?”

Ed blushes. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting to feel this way. I love the idea of this in concept, I enjoy performing. I thought it would be more like that.”

“And instead?” Oswald queries.

“I feel extremely exposed,” Ed tugs on his worn t-shirt, pulling it farther down his body as if to cover himself. He shifts his feet, bites his lip. 

“We don’t have to do this,” Oswald reminds him gently. Truly, they can stop and cuddle and Oswald would feel wonderful for just being able to put Ed’s needs before his own, there had been a period in his life when he was too selfish to do that even in a life or death situation. Personal growth, who knew?

“I know,” Ed murmurs. But he sounds...disappointed. “Would it be a problem if I kept on my clothing?”

“Of course not,” Oswald replies. “Would it help if I were closer?”

Ed deflates as though a huge weight had been taken off his shoulders. “Would you? I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but while the discussions are healthy and helpful, they don’t always put us in the mood.”

Oswald smiles, pushing himself up and shuffling across the room to the bed in his slippers before sliding them off to slip into bed, grateful he’s already changed for the evening into pajamas. “Come here,” he orders, hoping it sounds sexy. Oswald isn’t sure he gets the tone quite right, but the way Ed comes scrambling into bed, all knees and elbows, makes him feel like he’s at least gotten points for effort. 

“Kiss me?” Ed questions once they’re pressed into each other. Oswald is happy to comply. Ed tastes like mint toothpaste and mouthwash. Oswald has learned that licking at the inside of Ed’s upper lip with the tip of his tongue will get gasps almost immediately. He pointedly ignores the slight trembling in Ed’s fingers as they clutch at him. He’s nervous too, but this part...this part they are damn good at. 

Oswald could kiss all day. 

He’s so lost in the warm comfort of it that he doesn’t consciously register that Ed’s whimpers are getting more frequent. It’s not until Ed slides his leg over Oswald’s and rocks his hips until they bump each other that it becomes suddenly clear that Ed is...hard. 

It should have been expected, Oswald thinks as he rolls them so Ed is on his back and Oswald propped on his side next to him. Getting Ed hard was sort of the point of this particular session. 

“What now?” Oswald asks as Ed squirms. The taller man’s eyes open, hazy and beautiful, and he smiles, a wide, relaxed bloom across his face. 

“Are we good?” Ed whispers. Oswald’s focus being drawn from Ed’s face to the large hand he is now dragging across his chest to rub his own nipples through his shirt. 

“I’m great,” Oswald murmurs, distracted by the change in Ed’s breathing, the shift of hips into the open air, the path of his fingers across his chest. 

“No,” Ed shakes his head. “Nevermind.” His cheeks are pink. Oswald’s missed something. He leans in to kiss Ed again while he tries to figure it out and then suddenly it hits him. 

“Oh,” He breathes against Ed’s cheek. “Yes. Yes. You’re both being so, so good for me.”

Ed’s whole body shudders, his hand dips from his chest to dragging over the erection trapped in his ancient flannel pajama pants. “Os!” He gasps, higher pitched than his normal voice. Hips rocking into his own palm. 

Oh, God. This is so hot. Arousal...as hot as it is unexpected rolls over Oswald as he watches with rapt attention as Ed strokes himself through his pants, head rolling back to expose his long, beautiful neck. Oswald can stop himself from leaning in to nip at his adams apple just hard enough to make Ed moan before licking along the column of his neck while tentatively rocking his hips against Ed’s side. 

It’s an unspoken question. One which Ed answers with a gasp and an out turning of his leg to offer up more resistance for Oswald to rock into. 

Oswald moans into the soft fabric of Ed’s t-shirt. Pressing his lower half against this man that makes him feel things he never thought possible. His hands first clutching at Ed before becoming more brazen and sliding over the fabric covering his chest to purposely seek out and caress his nipples. 

The noises Ed makes are amazing. Oswald rubs, then plucks, and after a litany of nothing but positive responses, leans down and closes his lips to one peak, lapping at it with his tongue until the fabric separating them is soaked and Ed is whispering “Please, please, please…”

“Ed,” Oswald pleads. “Can we renegotiate this?”

Ed nods frantically, “Anything, Oh GOD, Os. Whatever you want.”

It’s against the rules, not what they have historically agreed to, but in the moment Oswald can’t bring himself to care. Ed has blessedly given him full, enthusiastic, consent and Oswald is going to use it. 

He rolls over until Ed is pressed into the bed underneath him, long legs spread around Oswald’s waist. It feels so good, Oswald for all his lack of experience and nerves feels solid, feels in control. Ed whines and rocks up into him almost immediately. Oswald gasps and presses down. They find a rhythm. It’s clumsy, Oswald’s scared he’s crushing Ed. But when he manages to grind out through clenched teeth, “Am I too heavy?” Ed literally snarls in his face and drags him into a kiss that is almost violent. 

At that point Oswald forgets to be concerned about it. Ed’s panting into Oswald’s neck. Their hips moving together, Oswald can feel the rigid length of Ed erection rubbing his own through two layers of clothing. Ed’s breaths shuddering out and Oswald is so love drunk on being this close to something so beautiful he rambles out, “You’re so good for me. So perfect. Ed, God. Love you. This is so good. Want to watch you come for me, Ed. Please.” 

And Ed, he does. It’s like watching the sun. Oswald’s ears are ringing after, but he doesn’t remember Ed making a noise. Just his wide open mouth and the feeling of his body convulsing under his weight. 

After, Oswald is still hard...Ed’s relaxed, pliant, underneath him. Humming happily as Oswald tentatively rocks against him once, twice, before stopping. In short, after is a problem Oswald didn’t anticipate.

“What’s wrong?” Ed questions, his words slightly slurred. 

“You’re done,” Oswald replies.

“So…” Ed looks confused. 

“You’re...done.” Oswald doesn’t know what else to say. It’s not the same now. He’s alone in this and…”It feels, wrong, without you.”

Ed shakes his head, pulling Oswald into a lingering, mind melting, kiss. “We’re not done until you are.” Then he lifts his heels and presses them with unerring accuracy into the backs of Oswald’s knees. 

Oswald whimpers, Pressing his face into Ed’s neck and clutching at his shoulders. Down his arms. His hips rocking into Ed again while Ed, bless him, rocks back. Oswald loses track of time. It’s good. So good. Better than any attempt at pleasuring himself he’s ever had. But he’s scared. Being this vulnerable, even to Ed seems suddenly too large for him to handle. 

Then a hand clamps on the back of his neck and the fingers of their other hand thread together. Oswald knows the weight of that hand, just as he knows there’s only one person in his life that calls him:

“Little Bird,” Whispered right into his ear, that warm hand squeezing his neck with so much affection. “We’re right here. You’re safe. Let go for us, Ossie. Let us have you, take what you need from us. Please, Little Bird. Give this to us. Let yourself go.”

It’s enough. Oswald wails out his relief into blankets next to Ed’s ear. He’s worn out, covered in sweat, panting, teary eyed. Riddler rumbles his approval and pets his head before Ed presses tender kisses against his temple. 

“Thank you,” Oswald whispers, voice raw, body exhausted. 

Ed giggles. “Thank YOU,” He stretches as Oswald rolls off him with a happy groan. “Can we put this in the keep category?” 

“Don’t be an idiot.” Oswald grumps. 

Ed raises their still joined hands to his mouth and nibbles Oswald’s fingertips. 

“You still owe me a show,” Oswald teases after yanking his hand away and swatting Ed’s chest.

“Give me a minute,” Ed replies.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald’s not entirely prepared for this.

Negotiations - 12

Oswald’s not entirely prepared for this. 

He wants it. Has been craving it, frankly, since they derailed themselves at their last attempt. But wanting something and being ready for it to happen are two different things. 

They’re in the bathroom. The enormous wall mirror reflecting the long, lean, lines of Ed’s naked body while Oswald tries essentially not to look at his own reflection. Thank the Goddess of Gotham, who has always seemed to have a soft spot for him, for his robe and Ed’s willingness to let him leave it on. 

Oswald watches Ed, watching him, neither of them willing to look at themselves in the mirror. 

“Why are we doing this in here?” Oswald questions. Literally no one involved in this event seems to like the venue. 

“I wanted you to hold me,” Ed answers, brushing his fingers over the back of Oswald’s hand, currently stroking Ed’s chest. “You wanted to watch. This seemed a logical place to suggest.”

“This was your idea,” Oswald murmurs into Ed’s neck, sliding his fingertips over Ed’s nipple, the taller man hisses in response, head tipping to the side, Oswald can’t quite reach his neck, but he nips at joint of his collarbone and enjoys the whine Ed gives and the jerk of Ed’s hips. “But you seem really intimidated by the mirror.”

Ed sighs. He flushes. Oswald drags his nails down Ed’s sides, a gentle scratch, leaving just the barest trail of redness behind. Oswald watches Ed’s erection jerk in the warm air of the bathroom. Ed’s hands pressed to the countertop in front of them. “Oswald,” Ed murmurs. “I failed to take into account a frequent problem of mine.”

“Which is?” Oswald questions as he traces a finger over the V of Ed’s hip and skirts the edge of his testicles. Ed whines, high and frankly beautiful. His hand finally lifts off the countertop to stroke himself. They both let out ragged groans in response. Ed’s eyes flitting to the mirror, then away again. 

“It’s not always me looking back at me, Oswald.” Ed gasps as he pumps his hips into his hand. Oswald’s eyes snap to the mirror. He’s not sure what he expects to see there. It’s just himself and Ed in the reflection. He’s...disappointed. “He used to taunt me,” Ed’s breath huffing out before he bites his lip and moans. “Not...anymore. Oh, God, Oswald. This… Oh. I overlooked how excited he was about this too. Showing off for you. He’s watching me. It’s...difficult to ignore.”

“So stop ignoring him,” Oswald suggests. “Look at him, Ed.”

Ed’s eye snap back to their reflection. His eyes lock on the man in the mirror. His grip changes Ed whimpers, sounding desperate. Oswald groans in response. “What’s happening?” He asks, letting his hands travel back up Ed’s chest to pluck at his nipples. 

Ed whimpers again before responding. “He’s touching himself, like me. It feels so good. Oswald, please. It’s too much. I don’t think I can do this.”

“We can stop,” Oswald responds immediately, his hand stilling. He jerks away from Ed’s body when Ed’s response is a desperate “NO!” Oswald’s eyes fly to the mirror. That’s not Ed looking back at them now. 

“Please,” Riddler begs. “Trust me. Let me give this to you. We can have this together.” 

He’s not looking at Oswald. Ed’s body quivers, his hand slows but it doesn’t stop. Oswald waits. He’s not sure how this is going to play out, but it’s Ed’s decision. If he wants to stop they will. No matter what. They all have to agree in order to continue.

Ed’s eyes close, then reopen. It’s clearly Ed there, in the mirror looking at himself and then at Oswald. “I’m ok. We’re ok. Thank you for being understanding.”

Oswald goes to slide back behind Ed again but the taller man shifts position, spreads his legs, leans slightly over. Oswald’s not able to strangle the moan that comes out of his mouth at the view of their frankly fabulous ass. Ed huffs a chuckle in response. His hand stroking so slowly up and down his length. “You’re so beautiful,” Oswald whispers, trailing his fingertips up and down Ed’s back. “I can’t believe you’re mine.”

“Always,” gasped out in reply, the tone is off for Ed but not Riddler either, he looks at the mirror, away from Ed’s ass long enough to understand their both actively participating now. 

“Boundaries?” Oswald questions. While he and Riddler have not yet had a discussion about preferences and boundaries, Oswald understand the sexual preferences of Ed and Riddler can be very different. “Expectations?” 

Ed mutters, “Do you SWEAR I’m going to enjoy this?” Oswald doesn’t know how to answer that question. Thankfully, Ed’s not talking to him. “Yep!” Riddler replies with a pop of his lips and a wide, sensual smile. Oswald wants to kiss it off his face. So, after a moment's hesitation, he does. When they reach out to take him in their arms he shakes his head and steps away. 

“No way gentlemen, “ Oswald smiles. “Tonight I’m getting a show. Now tell me what you want.”  
Admittedly, his hands are already sliding over the silky smooth skin of their behind. Ed shifts back into his hand. 

“More of that, please,” Ed answers. Then hums and flushes before adding, “And would you be willing to touch me...inside?” 

He sounds a little bit like he’s being strangled by his own embarrassment. Oswald wants to feel bad for Ed for just a second, but he’s too busy trying to not come. Like, right now, at the very thought of doing what he’s being asked. “Yes,” Oswald replies already itching to move forward. “God, yes.”

Ed’s shoulders lose some tension then. Oswald leans around them to grab for the bottle of lube in the drawer next to where they’re standing. He shakes as he pours it on his hands, hesitating only a moment before reaching around them to brush his fingertips across their now leaking erection. “PLEASE,” is the desperate response. Oswald allows himself a few strokes before sliding down to cup their balls. He rides out the jerking of their hips before taking his other hand down to dip into the cleft of their ass and brush across tender, tiny, pucker he finds there. 

Ed’s mouth falls open, he’s panting, sweating, and so help him, Oswald wishes he had taken off this damn robe. But too late for that now, he’s not letting go of either of them until this is done. He’s circling the entrance to their body, over and over, before rubbing across it. “Tease,” Riddler growls and Oswald’s eyes meet his in the mirror. “Knew you would be a tease.”

Oswald smiles, “You love it,” he presses in a little deeper. Just testing the tension there, the resistance and grinds his own aching dick into their hip. The pressure feels so good, Oswald lets out a moan before he can stop himself. “That’s right,” Riddler replies, rocking into that tentative pressure Oswald is providing behind him. “Sing for us, Little Bird.”

Oswald blushes, looking away for a second before turning back and seeing Ed, “You’re so beautiful,” Ed gasps out. “Love you, give us more.”

It’s Oswald that whines as he presses in, in, in. The warmth of their body around this single digit of his, the softness of them inside, the pressure of that first squeeze around his invading digit. “Oh,” Oswald whimpers. “You’re amazing,” he tells them. 

Ed’s eyes slide shut, when they reopen Riddler is back in the mirror, but he’s not looking at Oswald anymore. “A little deeper,” he whispers. “Give us more.”

Oswald complies, Ed’s whole body is shivering. His erection so hard Oswald swear it has to be hurting them but now. He slides in as far as he can go. Ed whimpers, hips pushing back against his hand. The muscles clenching around his finger again and again. “Tell me,” Oswald whispers, he feels entranced. The white, hot edge of need pushing him toward his own release seems far away now in the face of pleasuring these beautiful men. 

There will be time for that later. 

“Perfect,” Riddler gasps. “You’re both doing so well.”

Ed whines at the praise, he licks his lips. Oswald knows Riddler is just a reflection, but so help him he doesn’t think he sees what Ed’s body does reflected in the mirror. “My good boys,” Riddler murmurs, “Little Bird,” he orders without looking away from Ed. “Take that wonderful finger and bend it just a hair.”

Oswald does, Riddler’s eyes roll back in his head, he groans, Ed’s hip jerk and twist. He whines desperately. 

“Now,” Riddler sounds overwhelmed. “Press down and slide, but slowly, he’s not used to this. We have to take care of him tonight. Make it good for him. We have to show him how loved his is.” 

Oswald, entranced, does as he's told. He assumes he’s in the right spot because Ed lifts his remaining hand off the counter to slam it into the glass of the mirror with a ragged shout of pleasure. Riddler chuckles, but he’s sweating, hand moving almost frantically over their erection. 

“Keep going,” Riddler murmurs, “You’re doing perfectly.” Oswald does as requested, thrusting in and out and trying to keep the pressure in the right place while Ed trembles. “Good boy,” Riddler comments, but he’s not talking to Oswald anymore. “Come here,” Riddler whispers to his other self and Oswald watches, transfixed, as Ed leans forward and presses his forehead to the glass. 

The level of intimacy in the room skyrockets, Oswald forgets about everything but the two men who are both vividly present in this room with him. Ed’s barely moving, all quivering shoulders and locked stare into the eyes of his other. “Please,” Riddler whispers, “Let me.”

Ed’s other hand presses against the glass as well and Oswald moves his other hand to help them both finish. Their hips pressing back and forth between his two hands. Oswald has felt like a powerful man many times in his life, but never as much as right now in this room. He twists his finger on the last press inside of his lovers and they come, wailing almost into each others mouths. Oswald wonders if he is going to pass out as he watches their breath fog up the mirror. He slides himself out of their body and steps away to lean against the counter and recover, feeling vulnerable and somehow comforted by the whole experience. So very close to them both. 

Right before Riddler’s face is obscured by the haze of their breathing he watches as Ed leans forward, pressing his mouth to the glass in an achingly sweet kiss. 

The first they must have ever shared.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well,” Ed begins, tucking his feet under the edge of the blanket before reaching over to pick up his tea. “Let’s debrief. How do you think things went last night?”

Negotiations - 13

“Well,” Ed begins, tucking his feet under the edge of the blanket before reaching over to pick up his tea. “Let’s debrief. How do you think things went last night?”

Riddler regards him from the long, free standing mirror Ed has tugged over to the bottom of the bed. They sit, facing each other, toes tucked under what looks like opposite ends of the same blanket. Ed sips the tea, Riddler grimaces. “I don’t know how you stomach that.”

“Your preference for coffee is equally abhorrent,” Ed comments. “Though I can appreciate the dislike of having to taste something you don’t find appetising. Would you prefer I stop?”

Riddler blinks, he looks, surprised. Ed watches him rub up and down his upper arms. “No, but thank you for asking.”

Ed nods. “Back to the topic at hand?”

“Ah,” Riddler reaches up to drag his index finger across his chin. “Pointing out the elephant in the room here, we forgot Oswald.”

Ed can feel the blush spreading across his face. “We did NOT forget Oswald. Neither of us have ever been able to forget anything about Oswald and you know it.”

Riddler chuckles. “Agreed. Let me rephrase. One of us should have held it together enough to help him come. Sadly, we were both so OVERCOME he had to manage that on his own. For myself, all I can say is I was exhausted. It was a particularly intense experience and I was frankly...blown away by it.” Riddler pauses. “I know you and I had discussed options before hand. I think I was just so anxious about it all. About being close to Oswald and to...you. By the end, it was hard for me to focus. The...intimacy of it all. Ed. I. We.” He huffs. The look on his face one of intense frustration. “Thank you, Edward. You gave me something beautiful last night and I will cherish it for the rest of my days.”

Ed’s stunned. “Please, don’t thank me. There are so many things I have to apologise for   
to both you and to Oswald. I don’t know how we are all going to make this work, but I need you to know I want very much for it to be possible for the three of us to have this together.”

They regard each other in silence for a moment. 

“I also could fill a library with odes to my mistakes,” Riddler comments. “Shall we table our inclinations to wallow in self hatred and perhaps focus on being better men in the future?”

“Sound point,” Ed agrees. They smile at one another and Ed wonders at the peace between them built on weeks of effort after years of misplaced anger and fear. 

“How was your experience last night?” Riddler asks, there’s a sly grin hovering about his mouth that makes Ed think about being bent over the counter. 

“Urm,” Ed struggles to clear his throat. “It wasn’t something I had ever considered before. Intense, but, quite pleasurable. I know I didn’t believe you when you suggested it. I have to concede it was a singularly pleasurable experience. Though, I suspect I will still prefer to...top. I think they say.”

Riddler laughs. “So long as you can accept that I have the opposite opinion. To each of us his own.”

Ed nods, stretching his back with a groan. “I have no need to comment on what you may wish to do with Oswald. He loves us both very much. I believe we are safe with him. But, would you mind me asking.... why have you held off on discussing you preferences with him?”

Riddler pointedly looks away at the corner of the room. 

“I’m not trying to pry,” Ed rushes to assure him. It garners no reply. 

He sighs. Rubbing his forehead, tugging on his hair. “I’m worried about upsetting you. But I’m trying to be honest. I don’t want to mess up this peace we have had together for the last few weeks. We tiptoe around each other too much. So...as much as I’m worried that this will make you angry with me, I need to press you about this because I’m concerned if you won’t talk about this with Oswald then nothing I do with either of you will make this something sustainable. And make no mistake, I want to be having these conversations with you and with Oswald for the rest of our lives. And selfishly, that means I need to understand why you’re holding back.”

“Why?” Riddler snaps. “What difference does it make to you if Oswald and I never have a heart to heart about our...physicality?”

“Because I’m afraid of losing you both,” Ed whispers in reply. He sighs. “I love him, Riddler. And...given the chance, I think you and I could find ourselves feeling equally as ardently for each other. I just want to understand.”

Riddler leans toward him, long arms bent on his knees as he looks Ed in the eyes and answers, “I’ve always loved you, Edward. It has been you who could never find it in your heart to spare me even the tiniest bit of affection. Don’t speak to me about love, Ed. All I have ever wanted from you was acceptance. I’ve spent so much of my life desperate for any affection or consideration from you. You want to have a conversation about our dislikes related to coffee and tea and you have never had to be in the backseat while your body engaged in carnal pleasure with a list of people who come from a gender that you have absolutely no interest in. And the sad thing is, it never crossed your mind, did it? That you and I could be so different that we would prefer different genders? I’m gay, Edward. I’m gay and I have loved two men the in the whole of my life and you are one of those men. So please, don’t act like we are both standing in the same place on this road to learning how to love each other. You’re at the start line and I cross the finish years ago.”

Ed doesn’t know what to say in response. He’s again misjudged this man. But then, “I remember what I told Oswald all those years ago. Love is about...sacrifice. I thought I knew what I was talking about then because I thought I understood love. But that idea...that concept didn’t come from me, did it? It came from you. From all the times you have sacrificed for ME.”

Riddler wipes tears from his eyes with shaking hands. He doesn’t meet Ed’s gaze. 

“I’m going to talk to him,” Riddler offers after the silence stretches between them. “It’s just embarrassing. Not because of talking to Oswald. He’s a dream. It’s because once I say it outloud then YOU will know, and that’s terrifying. I don't want to be so exposed for you to mock me later.”

“Mock you about WHAT?!” Ed erupts, flailing his arms. “What could possibly be so ridiculous sexually that you fear me making fun of you. I just spent last night bent over in the bathroom kissing a mirror so I could be close to you. How much more vulnerable can you get?!”

“I just want him to HOLD ME!” Riddler explodes, yanking on the blanket. “I want him to hold me, kiss me, pet my hair, scratch my back, hold hands with me. I need to ask him to TOUCH ME because no one EVER does. Do you know what that's like?! Do you have any idea how starved for affection I am? It’s not the sexual positions I’m avoiding talking about, Edward, you enormous ASS, it’s just the standard physical contact that you take for granted and occasionally actively avoid.”

“I don’t require a great deal of physical affection,” Ed comments. “Frankly, the most I have ever learned about it in my life has come from years with Oswald. His hugs, his nearness. I didn’t realize you would crave something so different than I.”

“I could have taught you,” Riddler whispers sullenly. “But I’ve only in the past few weeks been able to figure out how to have any intimacy with you. I’m not sure hugging or holding each other is even possible.” He plucks at the blanket between them. 

“Of course it is!” Ed announces, up off the bed before Riddler can comment on what’s happening. “We just have to be creative. We’re both geniuses, how hard can this be?”

“Umm,” Riddler replies as Ed dashes back and forth. “If you’re thinking full on android body I need to let you know I’d like cuddles before we are in our eighties.”

“Shut up!” Ed snorts. Clearly not finding everything he’s looking for. Riddler opens his mouth to help but then Ed is barreling out of the room yelling, “OSWALD! You’ll know what to do, you’re good at this.”

Riddler contemplates that the whole situation has gotten terribly out of hand. 

Thirty minutes later, Oswald is tugging a heavy afghan up over their shoulders before heading into the bathroom and coming back with bags of beans he’s heated in the microwave that has always lived there. “I use these for my leg when it hurts,” Oswald comments as he stuffs the bean bags around and over Ed’s body. 

“Is that why you have the microwave in there?” Ed asks. Riddler rolls his eyes hoping that Oswald doesn’t go full on fit at the possible implications. 

“No, Edward,” Oswald comments dryly. “I keep it in there to reheat the frozen meals I have in the fridge I hid under the sink.”

Riddler bursts out with laughter. 

Ed has the decency to blush. 

“One more thing,” Oswald announces heading toward the bathroom again and returning with a bottle of cologne. It’s one Ed recognizes but Riddler does not. “I don’t know how aware you two are of this, because the scents are similar, but you wear different brands.”

He swipes some on the afghan near their heads and then stops to press a kiss to their forehead. “Ok,” Oswald announces, “Here’s how this is going to work. Ed, I need you to go inside and let Riddler have primary control of your body. But instead of disconnecting, think about holding him. Relax and imagine the weight of the blanket is your arms around him, the heat is your body heat, he’ll be surrounded by your scent. Just imagine, and if you let it, it will work.”

“How do you know?” Riddler asks. He’s genuinely curious. 

“Because I used to do this a lot when I was lonely and missed you,” Oswald answers before pressing a quick kiss to their lips and going to shift away. Riddler grabs for him, catching his hand just before he slips off the bed. 

“Little Bird,” He whispers, “There’s enough room in this nest for three. But I can please be in the middle?”

Oswald smiles like the sun breaking through the clouds. He scrambles to the other side of the bed and snuggles down with his arms joining Ed’s where Riddler can feel them around him.   
“I love you both so much,” he murmurs to the two men holding him. 

Ed’s affection a warmth against the back of his mind. 

“I love you both,” Oswald sighs, relaxing into the warmth of his lovers. “My beautiful boys.”

This, Riddler thinks, makes everything worth it.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all days are good days.
> 
> Oswald knows this. They’ve had their fair share of bad days, all three of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief mention of the Joker here and his idiot idea of kidnapping a specific kiddo. No harm comes to said kiddo.

Negotiations - 14

Not all days are good days.

Oswald knows this. They’ve had their fair share of bad days, all three of them. 

This one though, well...Oswald has never claimed to be the most patient of men. He’s like quicksilver, ready to turn on a dime and slay the very hand that feeds him. Tonight though, tonight is less about a lack of self control and more about impotent rage related to months of planning going down the toilet due to his stupidity and someone else's insanity.

His back is killing him. His bones have always been fragile but as he has aged he’s noticing a difference. 

A frailty. 

He’s getting old. 

And stupidly Sentimental. 

Working with Jeremiah Valeska was not something Oswald considered lightly. The man makes his crazy twin look like the sanest person walking the streets. They had debated the joint venture almost obsessively. But in the end the temptation of success was more than they could walk away from. There had been plans within their plans, a double track, an escape route. Everything the three of them could possibly think of in order to allow for escape and recovery should their tenuous band of thieves dissolve at an inopportune moment. 

He took some comfort in the fact that Selena had also chosen to throw in her lot with the rest of them. Though he would not call her a friend by any means, she was the sanest of them, most of the time. Riddler and Ed trusted her to watch her own back and because of that and the tiny shriveled mass of a conscience that Oswald knew her to have they thought the chances of success were high. 

Then Jeremiah Valeska comes through the door of the meeting point they all agreed to gather at this evening dragging behind him shaken, stumbling, crying, Barbara Gordon. A child. He had kidnapped...a child. The same child….Again?

Oswald had felt Ed tense beside him. The almost imperceptible shift from Edward to Riddler. Selena hisses, crouches beside them. This was NOT part of their plan. The group dissolves into chaos, screaming accusations, pointed fingers, brandished weapons. Jeremiah laughing, his scarred face twisted grotesquely, as he moves to pet the little girls hair. 

Oswald has to give it to her, she is her mother’s daughter. She hauls back and kicks him as hard as she can. “My parents are going to kill all of you,” She growls at them. “If you’re lucky.”

Oswald’s had enough. When Jeremiah goes to hit her for her efforts Oswald lunges forward, taking the blow on his back where it would have hit her face. He hisses, feeling a rib crack, gathering her smaller body to his and shielding her from any further abuse. 

She’s just a little girl. A little girl who bites the shit out of him.

He’s not sure what exactly happens behind him. There’s a significant struggle, Riddler and Selena working together to end the threat. Riddler finally snarling at him, “Take her HOME, Oswald. We will handle this.”

He does what he’s told for once. Snatching her up and fleeing. The drive to the home of the Gordon family somewhat less tense after some ice cream and the offer of the use of his top hat. Jim is...less than pleased to see him. Barbara even more so. Lee, ever the voice of reason. They are more forgiving after their daughter spills the full story of her evening. 

She’s unharmed outside of some scratches and a twisted ankle. 

Oswald is allowed to slip away into the night and return to his life as long as the she devil of a child gets to keep his hat. 

He travels back to his house. All of his thoughts consumed with Ed and Riddler. Wondering if he should have stayed with them, if they’ve come to harm, if they will be there waiting. He’s worked himself up to a full on meltdown, throwing throwing the door open and slamming it behind himself. He’s yanking off his coat, tie, and vest. Pulling his shirt out of his pants and in a fit of upset hurling his monocle across the room. 

He barely misses Riddler, bare chested, bare feet, a bruise forming on the high cheekbone left of his nose. He’s leaning against the wall of the living room like the most relaxed man on the planet.

Like the exact opposite of Oswald right now. 

“Are you hurt?” He asks. 

Riddler shakes his head, stepping away from the wall and moving to cross the distance between them slowly, like Oswald is prey to be stalked. 

“And Ed?” Oswald checks. 

“Right as rain,” Riddler smiles. “We decided you might be in more in need of my services tonight than his. He’s sleeping.” 

“Services,” Oswald repeats. “I’m not in the mood for games tonight,” he finally offers, reaching up and tugging at his hair. “I’m frustrated. Angry. I need to burn this tension off before I can talk about this.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” Riddler comments. Then he’s tugging those low slung pants down and stepping out of them, naked, hard. “Relieving tension.”

He drops to his knees right in the middle of the living room and spreads his legs. This is it, Oswald thinks. He’s going to actually die tonight, Just not the way he expected. “Riddler,” Oswald warns. “I know we talked about this, but…”

“No buts,” Riddler corrects him. “I was good. I talked to you about this. Ed listened, he knows. We both want to comfort you right now, but we decided my way was more what you needed tonight. Just go with it, Little Bird. Use me. Give this to me.”

Oswald is dragged forward by an invisible pull. He stops directly in front of the kneeling man and whispers, “Riddler, I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t,” Riddler smiles. “You’re feeling impotent, agitated. So am I. Come here and let’s make our worlds right again.”

And so help him, Oswald does. 

He steps forward, hands clenching, and watches with rapt attention as Riddler leans forward to mouth at his clothed erection. Oswald pants, he can hear it in the room echoing around them. Like some kind of God, Riddler smirks up at him before reaching out with trembling fingers to undo the clasps of Oswald’s pants and tug them and his underwear out of the way. 

He’s so hard. 

“Riddler,” Oswald gasps, almost pleading and he’s barely been touched, Riddler leaning in to press against his flesh and inhale deeply, letting out a ragged groan in response. Oswald takes a deep breath and winces at the reminder of the damage to his back. But damn if he is going to ruin this unholy gift by complaining. 

Riddler nuzzles along his length before licking the tip of his erection, his eyes never leaving Oswald’s face. Cataloging what gets the biggest responses, the hisses and tentative jerks of Oswald’s hips. 

It’s heaven.

It’s hell. 

It’s everything.

Little kitten licks up and down his shaft until Oswald’s shoulders start to unwind. Then just on the side of uncomfortable a drag of teeth from base to tip on one side. He cries out, a brittle, “OH!” into the quiet of the house. Riddler chuckles. 

It’s the laugh that triggers it, Oswald suddenly remembering how he had felt like a fool earlier in the evening, how he had to negotiate his freedom with Jim Gordon just to be able to have this tonight. He snarls down at Riddler on his knees and reaches with one hand to grab the man’s hair, pushing him backward across the floor in a desperate scramble until Oswald can press his sweating face against the wall paper and Riddler is trapped between his legs and the wall behind him. 

Oswald looks down, agitated, desperate. “Color?” He questions.

Riddler positively beams up at him, “GREEN!” he announces cheerfully before leaning in and sucking Oswald’s aching erection into his mouth. 

Oswald sobs out his pleasure. Hand still gripping Riddler’s hair, the other floundering from his side, to the wall, to hovering over Riddler’s head, uncertain what to do. 

The problem is solved for him when Riddler reaches out with one hand, catching his flailing digits, and presses it to his head next to the one already there. Then he leans away, pressing the back of his head to the wall and looking up at Oswald with glazed eyes to order, “Now, Little Bird. Give me what I want tonight. Be Penguin for me.” 

Then he drops open is mouth and God help them both, Oswald uses his grip on Riddlers hair to thrust himself back inside, taking his pleasure, finding an outlet for his frustration, the rough jerks of his hips in direct contrast with the whining pitch of his cries. Oswald’s fully leaned into the wall. Sometimes thrusting into the hot, wet, suction of Riddler’s mouth. Sometimes pushing in deep and holding there until Riddler squirms. 

Then he notices the other man stroking himself and barks, “No touching! That’s for me.”

Riddler makes a noise like he’s dying. But his hand slips off of his erection to grip Oswald’s ass and push him harder. 

It takes an embarrassingly short amount of time for Oswald to come down Riddler’s throat while roaring out his pleasure. Riddler swallows it all with a pleased hum, collapsing back against the wall and panting while he stares up at Oswald with a wicked grin on his face.   
“Such a good boy,” Oswald growls, petting Riddler’s hair before helping him up and leading them both toward the couch where Riddler collapses in a heap.

He looks totally blissed out, except for the one part of his body, rigid, leaking, amazing. 

Oswald drops to his knees with only a hiss of protest, spreading Riddler’s legs with a sense of authority that he doesn’t really feel. He leans in to return the favor only to stop at the last second and press a kiss to Riddler’s hip asking again, “Color?”

He thinks that later they will both pretend the sob that escapes Riddler’s mouth at the question was a gasp. “Green! Oh God. You don’t have to.”

“Shhh,” Oswald breathes into his skin. “But help me, I’ve never done this before. Want to be good for you.” 

He relaxes when Riddler’s fingers slide into his hair, angling his head and guiding him in. It feels so good to have that weight on his tongue. To be this close to someone he loves. Oswald whimpers, pulling off to lick his way across Riddler’s testicles, stopping to try and suck one into his mouth as Riddler whines, tugging on his hair to hold him closer and try and push him away at the same time. 

Then his fingers slip backwards to slide across his ass only to find the space already slick with lubricant, his ring stretched by what feels like silicone. Oswald’s heart pounds. 

“I wasn’t sure what you would want,” Riddler gasps. “So we got ready, just in case.”

“We?” Oswald questions with what little is left of his sanity. He presses at the base of what he suspects is a plug even though he can’t really see. 

“Later!” Riddler gasps out. “Tell you all about it later.”

Oswald tugs on the plug. “May I?”

Riddler nods, eyes wide. It’s permission enough. Oswald tugs out the plug, tossing it aside before sliding two of his fingers inside of Riddler, angling for the bundle of nerves he knows he will find. 

When he does, Riddler tosses his head back, hips arching, working his hips back and forth on Oswald’s digits. Once he’s calmed slightly, Oswald takes him back into his mouth, holding still and letting Riddler work himself to completion between the press of his fingers and the suction of his lips. 

Riddler tries to tug him off. “Please, please,” he begs so sweetly.   
This is definitely heaven.

Riddler comes with a sharp cry. Oswald would love to say he swallows with grace a poise. 

Instead he gags, coughing up a lung on his hands and knees on the carpet while Riddler watches, horrified and frozen on the couch. When he can breath again Oswald laughs, then groans, then tries to clutch at his back. 

“What’s wrong?” Riddler questions, leaning in to hold him, help him. 

“My back hurts,” Oswald comments before pressing himself between Riddlers legs against the couch and wrapping an arm around his thigh. “I’ll have you look at it later.”

They sit in silence for a few more moments before Riddler rises to his feet with a stretch of his too long limbs and helps Oswald stand. “Time to clean up,” Riddler comments, linking their fingers together as they head toward the bathroom. “Shower with me?”

“Yes, please,” Oswald leans against his lover heavily while they walk. The events of the night quickly catching up on him. “And tomorrow, can we please all talk, the three of us, about maybe doing something different with the rest of our lives? I don’t ever want to live a night like this again.”

“Absolutely,” Riddler assures, guiding him to the shower and helping him undress. “Anything for you ...Mr. Penguin.” 

Then he bursts out laughing. Oswald can do nothing else but go along.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald wakes to fingertips ghosting over his temple. He blinks his eyes open, struggling to come into focus, it had been a very late night. The gentle stroking continues across his brow, down the tip of his nose.

Negotiations - 15

Oswald wakes to fingertips ghosting over his temple. He blinks his eyes open, struggling to come into focus, it had been a very late night. The gentle stroking continues across his brow, down the tip of his nose.

He’s laying on something lumpy. 

It takes him a moment to realize that he’s effectively snuggling Ed’s legs. Grumbling as he rolls over to get a look at the man now propped up against the headboard. 

Yep, that is definitely Ed. 

Oswald can tell by the tilt of his head, the timid nature of his smile. The hesitant way he reaches out to brush the hair out of Oswald’s vision. Riddler, always more confident in his touches. Ed still learning that his touch was more than tolerated. Was craved, wanted, needed. 

“Sleep well?” Ed asks with a grin. 

“Indeed,” Oswald stretches and tries not to blush. This waking up beside the man you didn’t fall asleep with was...interesting. Especially after last night. “And you?”

“My throat hurts,” Ed deadpans. 

Oswald’s eye almost bugs out of his head. He can feel the rush of blood to his face, knows he looks mortified. Ed, the bastard, lets him stew in it for almost a full minute of not being able to think of anything to say in response. 

What does one say, exactly? 

I’m sorry - he’s NOT sorry.

It was fabulous - it was, but Ed wasn’t the one he did it with.

Wish you were there? - OH GOD. Maybe? No, just no. Oswald’s not sure. 

Then Ed laughs, loudly, brightly, right in his stammering face. 

“You,” Oswald accuses, “Insufferable ass.” Then he flops back across Ed’s legs with a huff of mostly put on annoyance. But his forgotten rib protests the action and Oswald find himself curling up in discomfort trying to reach the space on his back where it hurts. 

“You’re bruised,” Ed comments, placing his warm, large palm across the purpling space next to Oswald’s spine. “From Jeremiah.” It’s not a question but Oswald nods anyway. 

“I think he cracked a rib of mine,” Oswald manages to gasp out as he uncurls, slowly, onto his stomach. 

“I’m so sorry,” Ed whispers as he brushes his fingers along the edge of the mark. “We didn’t know. We should have made sure you were unhurt.” 

“I’m good,” Oswald shushes. “It’s not the first time. It likely won’t be the last. I’ll heal.”

“You say it like it’s nothing,” Ed comments in a tone that says he does NOT agree. 

“You’ve said it yourself,” Oswald wiggles into a more comfortable position, ending up stretched out on his stomach halfway across Ed’s lap. “I’m frail. I always have been. I think it might be getting worse with age.”

“What can we do?” Ed murmurs as he stretched out his hand to cover where Oswald hurts. Reaching up with his free hand to stroke through Oswald’s hair. 

“Love me,” Oswald replies. “Understand and keep an open mind when I tell you I want out of super villain hood. Listen to me now while I tell you that last night drove home to me that the other players in this game are far more insane then you or I and that my singular priority is to always be able to come home to you and you to me. Ed, I know we need to talk to Riddler too, but do you think maybe we can consider...stopping all this? I’m hurting and afraid of having this ripped away from me. Would you be willing to think about that?” His heart is pounding in his ears, he knows his body has to be a wall of tension across the bed right now. Oswald can hear how shaky his own breathing sounds. He waits. Fingers clenching into the blankets as he considers that maybe naked, in bed, where it would be difficult for him to escape if this blows up was not his brightest idea. 

“You feel really safe with us,” Ed murmurs as he drags his palm down Oswald’s back to brush across his hips where the blanket has slid down. “For you to be able to say this right now. That makes us feel good. I want you to know that. Of course, we’ll consider it. Can we discuss it more after I’ve had some time to digest? Stopping never occurred to us. Honestly, Love, we will need a project to turn our focus toward. We don’t do well without something occupying our brain.”

Oswald smiles, “I remember you, singing to yourself while you built that submarine. Whole world burning down around us and you were as happy as I had ever seen you.”

“I got to build a submarine!” Ed chuckles. “What was there to be upset about?”  
Oswald’s about to reassure them that they can discuss their options as many times as they all need when Ed’s fingers dip just slightly below the blanket to caress his behind. Ed murmuring, clearly distracted, “Let’s table this right now, please. I’d like to move on to more carnal ventures. If you’re amenable?”

“Yes,” Oswald gasps out, spreading his legs apart even though he doesn’t know for sure where this is going. 

“Thank you,” Ed replies. “Love, I’d like very much to taste you...here.” Ed’s fingers dipping just slightly between his cheeks. “Thoughts?”

Oswald thinks for a second he has actually caught fire. He whimpers, shifting restlessly. “Yes,” he manages to whisper out. They’ve talked about this. Even though it makes him nervous, probably related to the number of times he was called dirty as child, he knows he showered just a few hours ago and he wants to know what this feels like. Wants to experience this, knows Ed is excited by the concept, wants to share that with him. 

“I’ll need to move, Love,” Ed whispers to him before leaning down and pressing a kiss to the back of Oswald’s neck. 

There’s a flurry of movement as Oswald pushes up to his knees before sliding off the side of Ed and dipping back down to the bed. Ed’s off the bed and across the room in a flash, Oswald distracted from his own irrational fears of rejection by the bobbing of Ed’s erection as he walks back toward the bed with a towel in his hand. The thought suddenly bursting across Oswald’s brain. 

He’d had that in his mouth last night. He’d pleasured a lover with his body, as frail and scarred as it is, and they had responded with enthusiasm. Had pushed him up against the wall of the shower and kissed him until his lips were swollen, until he felt like crying in relief because he had always been just a little bit worried that once they saw...well, everything, they would change their minds. But instead...it was beautiful.

And maybe, it crosses his mind, maybe Ed needs the same affection now 

“You’re beautiful,” Oswald says into the quiet of the room as Ed goes to walk around the other side of the bed toward his feet. Ed stops, he blushes. Oswald wants to weep with how his hands, likely unconsciously, go to cover the scars that mar most of his chest. “You are. Every piece of you. Every bit of your body. One day, when you’re ready, I’m going to kiss every bit of those scars because I love them. I’m so sorry you had to suffer, but if not for them then I wouldn’t have both of you and my life would be bitter, cold, and lonely. I’m so grateful we found our way here.”

Ed’s eyes well with tears. He kneels next to the edge of the bed where Oswald’s head rests and tips Oswald’s face toward him enough to press deep, wet kisses to his lips. There’s a whispered, “Thank you,” against the top of his head and then Ed is stepping away, walking around to where Oswald can no longer see him, and gently placing a hand on each of his ankles.

“Make room for me?” Ed questions. It touches Oswald’s heart. It could have been a command, or Ed could have done it himself without asking. But Oswald’s starting to believe that he is too valued for that. They’re both learning, one bit at a time. 

Oswald nods. He takes a steadying breath and slides his legs apart. Trying so hard not to think about what he must look like, what’s about to happen. He gasps as he feels Ed slide his hands up the back of his calves before kneeling on the bed between his legs. 

Oswald isn’t sure what he thought was going to happen. In hindsight, he will be amazed that he ever thought Ed would take the direct route and just...bury his face into Oswald’s ass. He’s just not really thinking clearly, so when Ed dips his head down and laps his tongue across the back of Oswald’s knee he actually shouts. 

It’s loud. 

Loud enough to startle Ed, who jerks back, then with a chuckle, takes a firmer grip on Oswald’s squirming leg to hold him steady so that Ed can nip, kiss, lick, and suck all along the exposed skin. Oswald’s so hard he’s leaking by the time Ed finally moves up the back of his thigh trailing kissing along his way. He’s a shivering mess when Ed sinks his teeth, just a tease of a bite, into his behind. Oswald wants to complain, to beg for more, he doesn’t know. 

But then Ed’s hot breath is ghosting across the opening to his body and Oswald just wants to come out of his skin. “Still willing, Love?” Ed asks, his lips brushing the skin of each cheek. 

“Please,” Oswald whimpers.

Ed rubs the side of his face over Oswald’s ass with a groan of, “I’m sorry. That’s not clear enough. Please could mean stop. Do you want this, Oswald?”

“YES,” Oswald snaps, hips squirming back toward Ed’s. Ed chuckles again, grabbing both cheeks in his wonderfully big hands and tugging them gently apart before leaning in and licking a broad stripe across Oswald’s hole. The noise Ed makes is like a man getting water after days of being denied. Ragged and deep. 

The noises Oswald makes are high pitched and embarrassingly shrill. 

But, DAMN. 

He can’t figure out why he was nervous about this. 

Ed holds him steady and uses his mouth to take Oswald to a place he’s never been. Long, slow licks from his balls toward his waist. Then the scraping of teeth along his opening. Nips and bites on the swells of his cheeks. Oswald’s crying out almost continuously now. Hips twisting, trying to get friction on his aching erection. He’s sweating, shaking, pleading and Ed just owns him. Finally pointing his tongue and slipping it...inside. Oh God. 

OH. GOD. Oswald holds on for about three jabs of that stupidly talented tongue before coming all over himself and the bed while he screams. 

He feels himself clench around Ed’s tongue. Ed moans, pulling away and pleading, “Please, Love, need to feel it. I have to know, just please let me.”

Then he’s slipping a slick finger inside Oswald’s body. Sliding it in smoothly, deeply, until he hits Oswald’s prostate. So help him, if Oswald was a younger man he thinks he would come again just from the way Ed is stroking over that spot again and again while he whimpers. 

Ed’s talking now, a litany of “So tight, warm, oh, Love. Feels amazing. I want to be inside you so badly.”

Oswald’s brain comes back on line long enough to realize Ed is still hard, the other man’s hips rocking into his leg. “You can,” Oswald offers. “I want that with you.”

Ed frantically shakes his head. “No, I’m not ready today. It’s too much, too fast. I’ll hurt you. You need me to be more in control. Soon, I promise. I love you so much.”

He’s stroking himself and there’s something about the action that oddly, deeply offends Oswald. He shouldn’t have to do that himself after the gift he’s just given. “Stop,” he orders, flailing at Ed’s hand with his leg. “Not like that. Like you’re inside me, want to feel you.” 

Ed freezes for a second before gently sliding free of Oswald’s body, scrambling up to his knees and shifting Oswald’s legs to the inside before stopping to pour lubricant across Oswald and gripping his ass again. Sliding his erection into Oswald’s slick cleft, across his now puffy hole until they both feel the head of it nudge Oswald’s testicles. 

They both groan. Ed slides back and then pushes forward again, using his hands to provide extra tension for him to slide through. Oswald clenches his lower body, rocking into Ed’s strokes. It’s good, safe, the weight of Ed on top of him feeling exactly like Oswald used to hope it would back when he thought he would never have it for real. 

Ed’s rambling the whole time, “Oh, Love. You look amazing like this. So strong, so hot. I love how I can grab you, love how you feel under me. Never thought you would want me like this. Fuck, Oswald. So perfect. You’re amazing. We adore you.” His hips starting to jerk and lose their rhythm. Oswald gasps when Ed comes between his legs, heat pouring over his balls and between his thighs. It’s messy and wonderful. Ed slowly sliding down to press his body along the back of Oswald’s both of them trembling, hands flailing until they can link their fingers together. 

“I love you,” Oswald pants into the sheets. 

Ed squeezes his fingers. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please give love to coppercowries who created Three from Two while reading this story. I  
[**Three From Two**](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21505756) [**coppercowries**](https://archiveofourown.org/users/coppercowries)  



	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re bundled up in bed, all three of them.

Negotiations - 16

They’re bundled up in bed, all three of them. 

Oswald the one pressed against heat bags on one side while Ed is on his other. The mirror tugged to the foot of the bed, where it almost permanently lives now. Set up at a specific angle, just for nights like this when they need to talk, but need to be close to each other too. 

The difficult conversations go better when they’re all in bed together they’ve learned through trial and error. The mirror a necessity for them so they can all be represented. Even though Ed is the only one who can Riddler in the reflection most of the time. Oswald is starting to think he catches differences between who is in the body and who is in the mirror more and more. 

For a while, he thought he was going crazy. But then, his whole life is insane. This city is insane. 

This plan they’ve been discussing is totally insane. 

Oswald quits worrying about it. 

“Switch sides,” he says slowly, astounded by the concept. “You mean work for Gordon?!”

“No,” Ed assures him. His tone has finality to it. That’s clearly NOT what he means. 

That only leaves one other option.

“The Bat?” Oswald huffs. “You want to work with the BAT? We don’t even know who he IS!”

“Oswald,” Riddler offers as he presses closer to Oswald’s body and kisses his scrunched up brow. “You’ve said it yourself, Valeska, Strange, Tetch, Crane...these people are truly mad. They aren’t like us. We want control, notoriety, power, but we can’t have any of that without the people of Gotham and those other people would gladly kill EVERYONE. I know it rubs us all the wrong way, Gordan more than burned any bridge we had back to peace with him, but if we must remain in the shadows or join in the desecration of the city we love, then we might as well be together in the darkness doing our part to protect Gotham. This is our home. I never want to see her brought to ashes again. These people only lead to death.”

“They won’t believe us,” Oswald sighs. “They never do. Who do you trust when the people in the light burn you as badly as the ones in darkness?” He’s emotionally exhausted. So tired of working through a decision that seems to have no good sides. “But you’re right, both of you. These villains are terrifying. They care about nothing but blood, revenge, and attention. As strong as the Bat is, he’s one man. He’ll need more support than that to win.”

“If we play are cards right,” Ed comments. “We can provide that and active intel to aid in the early exposure of any plan that crosses the line. Like double agents.”

“Act like bad guys,” Oswald chuckles. “But do it for the good. This is crazy.”

Ed nods, “Yes, but so are we.” 

Oswald grins, leaning in to kiss Ed and nuzzling his face. “We already have a major snag in this dastardly plan, Beloved. We have no idea who the Bat is.”

“It’s Bruce Wayne,” Riddler blurts waving his hand dismissively. “I’ve known that for months.”

Oswald freezes, mouth hanging open in shock, ready to explode with accusations, until he turns and sees Ed with the exact same look on his face. “You didn’t know?”

“No,” Ed gasps. “How could you?” He points at Riddler. “You lied to us!”

“You never asked,” Riddler shrugged. “As soon as it came up I told you. You hate it when I give you answers to questions when you want to figure them out on your own. Besides, we were talking about quitting it might not have mattered.” 

Ed flops back against the pillows with a groan. “I can’t believe you sometimes.” 

Riddler laughs. 

Oswald rolls his eyes. “You’re both ridiculous.”

And then….

“WAIT!” Oswald shouts as he flails to get up but can’t. “BRUCE WAYNE? You have to be kidding. He’s just a kid! Well...I mean...he used to be just a kid. That’s it, everyone in this city is insane. It’s in the water. You just can’t escape it, ever, no matter what. Not sure what good that information is going to do us though, how would we even get close to him? Then having to prove we’re right! Then having to prove we actually want to HELP?! This whole plan is doomed and we haven’t even gotten started.”

Ed laughs. “You’re adorable when you’re going off. I hope you know that. I love that about you.”

Riddler nods, “Agreed. He’s quite attractive when he’s squawking. Our snuggly little bird.”

Oswald flushes, crossing his arms and burrowing into the blankets around them with a put upon huff. 

“The nesting warms my heart,” Riddler whispers in his ear before nipping at his lobe. “But have no fear sweet bird, I have a man on the inside.”

“Who?” Ed asks. But Riddler only grins, shaking his head at them both. “Later,” He whispers to them, “I’ve worked a very long time on this surprise. I’m not ready to ruin it right before the big reveal.”

Oswald hates him a little, he doesn’t like being left in the dark. But then Ed is helping to shove him further into the pile of blankets on their bed and Riddler is nipping the side of his neck and Oswald forgets about everything for a while. 

It’s a week later, standing at the entrance of some kind of cave is when Oswald suddenly remembers how much he always disliked Lucius Fox. The dislike is pretty standard for him, he hates pretty much all people that are not Ed and Riddler shaped. It’s the reason he hates Lucius that shocks him. And all it takes is for Riddler to break out into a wide smile at the sight of the other man and growl out in a tone usually only reserved for he and Ed, “Foxy! Long time no see. How’s business?”

Jealousy, white, hot and dangerous rolls over Oswald’s common sense like a train. He actually hisses before he manages to get control of himself again. Eyes turn to him, Lucius looking utterly disgusted at their mere presence much less Oswald’s behavior. But it’s Ed looking back at him, not Riddler. Oswald’s eyes widen as his boys seem to flash back and forth in front of his eyes before settling back into Riddler. The taller man suddenly stalking his way across the room to where Oswald is standing to press a kiss, deep and lingering, to Oswald’s mouth. 

“Ridiculous,” Ridder whispers. “The both of you. Jealous over that man. Don’t be stupid. I just like to flirt with him. It makes him uncomfortable. I enjoy the squirm.” 

Oswald’s not sure how to reply, he presses his hand tenderly to the front of Riddler’s jacket before nodding and trying not to tear up. 

Riddler kisses his forehead and murmurs, “Save those tears, Little Bird. You’ll need them in a minute.” Oswald’s so confused. But Riddler turns back to Lucius and comments, “Are we going or not? I’ve made our agenda crystal clear here. We mean no threat to you.”

Lucius rolls his eyes, turning back toward the dark passageway he came from and commanding them to follow with a curt, “If you are done making out you can follow me. Otherwise, I’m leaving. There are some things, once seen, that cannot be unseen, and I don’t need to add the two of you being intimate to my list. It’s already too long.” 

They walk for a long time, rounding the corner, Oswald’s leg tiring. He’s just about to complain if for no other reason than to have something to take his mind off his discomfort when the passageway widens into a room. A room with a man sitting at a wall of computers, with a huge monitor, frantically typing. 

Alfred nods at them from where he’s pouring what looks like tea into a cup on the far side of the room. “Gentlemen,” He offers. “Pleasure to see you again, I think. Bruce sends his regards. He’s otherwise occupied today. Besides, that was not the purpose of this visit. But please know, if you fail to keep his secret, I will personally make sure you never violate any secret ever again. Even if it means I have to leave you in pieces. He’s like a son to me. I expect you to understand that, given the current circumstances.”

Oswald bites his lip before he blurts out that he doesn’t understand one God Damned Thing about any of what’s going on right now. But then Alfred and Lucius leave by some stupidly dramatic elevator and once they’re gone the man at the computers stops typing, clenches and unclenches his hands, and turns to face he and Riddler. 

He looks...oddly familiar. But Oswald can’t place him. 

As he comes closer, Oswald can tell he’s young, maybe just barely eighteen or nineteen. Brown hair. The eyes look familiar as well. He’s pale, smiling, though he looks terribly nervous. There’s a trembling in his hand as he points a small black device at the large screen covering the wall. An image appears of a white sheet of paper with stick figures drawn on it. Knives in their eyes. Oswald sobs, hands clasped to his face while he chokes out “Martin?” 

The nervous grin becomes a blinding smile. He rushes forward and Oswald finds himself in a heap on the floor of God knows where with his arms flung around the shoulders of the boy he never thought he would see again. Martin weeps as well, silently curled around Oswald’s now shorter frame. Over his shoulder Oswald reaches out to clasp Riddler’s hand. “You did this,” Oswald accuses through his tears, “You brought him back to me.” 

Riddler comes closer, stroking the hair off Oswald’s face, “It was the least I could do.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald’s out with Martin.

Negotiations – 17

Oswald’s out with Martin.

Both Ed and Riddler enormously pleased by Oswald’s tear filled, emotional response to Martin being back in his life. “Though distance and years had separated them Martin had always thought of Oswald as his father,” Riddler tells Ed. “He had worked hard hoping to return to Gotham. When he did he tracked down Lucius Fox in the hopes of reconnecting with Oswald.” 

“Why Lucius?” Ed inquires as he flips the page of the book Riddler has been reading to him in front of the fire. 

“Foxy was who I worked with to help him escape,” Riddler shrugs as if it’s nothing. 

“You like him,” Ed comments. He’s probably headed for nonchalant but instead lands somewhere in the vicinity of where concerned intersects with bitter. 

“You’re jealous,” Riddler replies with a pleased grin. It puts Ed on edge immediately. 

“You’re too happy about that,” Ed snaps. “Don’t make fun of me.”

Riddler sighs, tugging the book from Ed’s hand and marking the page before setting it to the side. Ed clenches his fist and looks at the fire, old fears and feelings of rejection rising to the surface. Thoughts of being judged against another and found lacking. He’s honestly startled when Riddler clasps their hands together, the warmth sinking into his skin. This intimacy is new for them both. Trying to work with sharing a single body has been somewhat complex. Trial and error on every level.  
Luckily, this particular thing they have accomplished with relative ease. Ed controls the right hand. Riddler the left. They can hold hands now, touch each other, give and offer comfort without the presence of a mirror. That’s exactly what Riddler does. He give’s Ed’s hand a final squeeze before pulling back and stroking the back of his hand along Ed’s cheek, reaching to tuck some of his hair behind his ear even though it’s not long enough to stay. Ed nuzzles into the contact, wishing for a moment he could turn and burrow into Riddler’s arms to be held. 

“I’m not making fun of you,” Riddler whispers to him. 

“I know,” Ed replies. “I do. But you look so smug and I don’t understand why this is so entertaining for you.”

Riddler huffs, “Both the men I love are so put out over the mere thought that I may have an interest in someone else, or that they may have an interest in me that they get protective of me almost at the sound of his name? Do you know how that makes me feel, Ed?”

Honestly, Ed doesn’t. It never crossed his mind. “No, I’m sorry, I have no idea.”

“I feel like I MATTER,” Riddler admits with a grin. “Like I’m a real boy. And Ed, I have to tell you, that feels really good after a lifetime being treated like a figment of someone’s warped psychosis, or imaginary friend. After so long being afraid of one-day disappearing like wisps of smoke I finally believe that there will be two people who I will feel REAL to. Nothing else matters to me but that. You and Oswald are the sun that I orbit. I’m not interested in anyone else. Foxy just pays attention to me because he doesn’t like not being able to figure you and I out. It has nothing to do with a deeper connection. I only have those with you and our Little Bird.”

Ed bites his lip, considering the message in what his other has shared before speaking, “I never realized how deeply my rejection hurt you. I can do nothing but apologize and hope that you will continue to work through our history with me. I believed for so long that I could force us into one being, that I was the starting point and you were the finish line. Sometimes that you were what I needed to NOT become. I misunderstood the…craving I had for you to be a desire for my own expansion and looking back now, I understand that what it really represented was my desire for closeness to the one person in my life that never abandoned me. I have made so many mistakes. I hope you can accept that keeping you trapped inside me for so long wasn’t done with the idea that you were a separate entity. With desires, needs, and fears different than my own. I just thought I was terrible insane and that you WERE me. When everything fell apart with Oswald, at first I was so angry at what I thought was a part of me that loved him even though he had hurt me so badly. But then…”

Riddler nods, “Then I started taking the drugs.”

Ed huffs, “I really never thought about it as a potential partner then. I was still too in awe of him, then full of hatred for him, but you…”

“I loved him with a dedication I had only reserved for you prior to that time,” Riddler flushes, brushes his hand over his cheek. “But then we had that one hallucination…”

Ed erupts with laughter, “Oh! I was so confused. I’m not a creature driven by lust very often and THAT was full of lust. I used to get flustered every time I saw Oswald for long time after that. It’s hilarious now looking back on it. I’m aware it wasn’t really him and he had no way to know about it but at the time…”

“I used to think about it on purpose every time we saw him just to make you uncomfortable,” Riddler admits. “I was so angry at you for keeping him from me. Consumed with this rage that you wanted him for yourself.”

“I didn’t,” Ed comments. “At the time. I was so convinced that I had to fit into that normal mode somewhere!”

“I might be crazy. I might be violent. I might be abnormal in every other way, but I swear I’m straight?” Riddler asks. 

Ed leans into the couch cushions before answering, “I was just clinging to anything left over from the productive, normal life I thought I had to have. It was hard to let that go.”

Riddler wraps his arm around Ed, covering his chest, tucking his hand into his side. Ed hums in contentment. 

“I want to ask,” Riddler hesitates before pushing forward. “When we were in the ice, you were so afraid. Why wouldn’t you let me comfort you?”

Ed is silent for a long time before answering, “We had been fighting. You and I. You were so angry, so afraid I was going to attempt to kill Oswald again. By the time we were frozen together I felt so impotent, so empty inside. You offering to support me in what I thought was my weakest moment, I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t suddenly depend on you. So I shoved you down so far you almost couldn’t make it back.”

Riddler stares into the fire, “If not for Oswald I fear I would still be stuck there.”

Ed nods, “If we’re sharing, would you mind me asking, when he called you back to him that day in Arkham, why didn’t you kiss him? I could feel how badly you wanted to just that. He would have welcomed it.”

“He would have welcomed it from you,” Riddler whispers. “He was just getting to know me, that was technically the first time we had ever been introduced. I didn’t trust myself to stop if I started kissing him. I wanted him to want ME.”

The fire crackles. Ed shifts against the couch restlessly. “What’s wrong?” Riddler questions.

Ed sighs, “I appreciate the closeness we’ve been developing. I’m grateful for the touches we can share. But…I want to kiss you.”

He’s unprepared for Riddler to well up with tears and let out a shaky breath of air in response. 

“What?” Ed questions, suddenly panicked that he’s said something offensive. 

“Nothing.” Riddler answers, picking up Ed’s hand and pressing kiss after kiss to it. “Everything is perfect.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “When will he be home?” Ed asks while he’s taking off his clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author note: Two men sharing a body having sex is hard to write. Ed slips and down the rabbit hole into a vivid hallucination part way through this fic. I hope it makes sense.

Negotiations - 18

“When will he be home?” Ed asks while he’s taking off his clothes. 

“He’ll be a while longer,” Riddler shrugs from the mirror. “I asked Martin to keep him occupied for a good while before letting him come back to us.”

“Why?” Ed questions as he slips onto the bed, nude, back pressed up against the pillows at the headboard. Giving him a clear view of the man watching him from the mirror. 

“Because I wanted to have a date night with you,” Riddler responds as he flushes. 

Ed’s smile is wide and happy. “Thank you,” he sighs as he relaxes. “For the lovely evening, for our talk, and for this.” He gestures at the bed and the assortment of items spread there. “I’m grateful for you being so willing to explore this with me.”

Riddler’s eyes deepen with lust. Ed shivers in response. “Gladly, Ed, I’m...honored you’d allow me the privilege.”

“I just have one question,” Ed asks as he repositions himself to be more comfortable but still be able to see his...lover. 

Lover. 

Yes. 

“Did it have to be green?” He teases as he holds up the silicone dildo. He wiggles it back and forth a little and chuckles when Riddler laughs.

“Of COURSE it did,” Riddler answers, looking so smug. 

Ed wants to tease him some more, he’s nervous, banter is becoming something they are more comfortable with. It’s starting to feel safe, and this...this feels dangerous. Hot, but dangerous. He opens his mouth to make another comment, provide an additional distraction. Hell...offer the Riddler a riddle. But his thoughts are derailed as his left hand, the one he gives control of to Riddler when they’re together, reaches up and touches his face. His breath falls out of his lungs as Riddler whispers, his voice almost reverent, “You’re so beautiful.”

Ed whimpers in reply, tipping his head back to allow for that trembling hand to trail down to his throat and cup his neck and then squeeze. “Oh dear,” Ed gasps, his eyes watching with rapt attention Riddler’s face in the mirror. That singular focus, all of that intellect focused on bringing him pleasure. Bringing them together. 

“I’m going to bury myself in you so deep,” Riddler comments, letting go of Ed’s neck and tracing over his collarbone before drifting down his chest. “So deep,” he repeats, “I’ll make a permanent place for me inside you.”

“You already have a permanent place inside me,” Ed counters. There’s a pause while Riddler traces a circle around his nipples, drifting closer and closer. “It’s my heart.”

Riddler’s eyes snap back to his face at the same moment he reaches across Ed’s chest and pinches Ed’s right nipple. Ed moans loudly into the stillness of the room, hips twitching. “Clever, Sweet Boy.” Riddler murmurs. “I do love you so.”

Ed pants as those fingers twist and tug. His nipple aches, arousal shooting right to his groin as Riddler keeps up the attention. He wants to return the favor, his right hand drifting across his chest to the left side. He brushes across that nipple delicately. But there’s no response. Riddler smiles. 

“Not a hot spot for me, I’m afraid,” He replies. “You’re going to have to hunt for them.”

Ed smiles back before curling his hand into a claw and dragging his nails down his left side, over his ribs to his stomach just hard enough to leave a red trail in his wake. Riddler shouts, hips jerking toward Ed. “How’m I doing so far?” Ed teases before reaching out again and raking his nails up the inside of his left thigh. 

“Fuck!” Riddler cries out. “You have to stop. Too fast. Feels to good.” He’s panting, hair hanging in his face and so help him, Ed loves it. The flush of power, the connection between them. Riddler abandons Ed’s nipples, trialing a hand down his front before nudging Ed’s thighs further apart for better access. Ed can feel the blood pumping through his veins. He’s so turned on. His erection aching. Riddler brushes fingertips over the tip in a swirl as Ed groans and thrusts up into nothing. But he doesn’t linger, instead choosing to roll his palm over Ed’s tesitcles, feeling their weight and tugging them gently before sliding behind them and pressing against the sweat slick skin he finds there. 

Ed pants, for a moment a surge of anxiety so sharp rolls over him that he forgets to breathe. Riddler stops immediately but doesn’t withdraw. His eyes watching Ed from the mirror. “Your call, Sweet Boy.”

Ed’s eyes snap to his, what he finds there makes the decision easy. Riddler is sweating, biting his lip, he’s anxious too. The love there in his eyes settles Ed’s nerves. “I’m good,” he offers with a smile. “Just never done this before. I got a little overwhelmed.”

“Me too,” Riddler answers with a grin of his own. “I’m a little overwhelmed and I’ve never done this either.”

“You’ve done this lots of times,” Ed argues just because he can.

“Not with you,” Riddler counters. “Not for you. I’ve done this to our body when I was alone. It’s different, better together, but I need to take care of you. I’m afraid I’ll make a mistake.”

“The only mistake you could make right now is stopping,” Ed reassures him. “Now, I believe we were working toward me being penetrated by my lover. I’d like to get that back on track, please.”

Riddler’s eyes slide shut, he takes a deep breath and just when Ed thinks they are going to have to have another discussion, he exhales and those fingers slide down between his cheeks and brush over the opening to his body. The pressure is light, teasing, and Ed smiles at how good it feels. 

He wasn’t expecting that. 

His hand slides over to cup his testicles, pulling them up and holding them out of the way so he can watch in the reflection. Riddler’s hand leaving him and he whimpers before realizing it’s just to get the lubricant beside them on the bed. Riddler’s hand returns slick and warm. Ed moans at the gentle press against his hole. Hips shifting with the pressure, moving into it, while Riddler explores with teasing, fleeting touches. 

“You look so much better than I imagined,” Riddler whispers, “When I used to do this to myself and wish it was you.” 

Ed whines, drawn out and sounding desperate as he lets go of his balls to stroke Riddler’s erection. His hips jerk again, this time pressing up just as Riddler presses down and the tip of his finger slips inside just a bit. Ridder gasps. Ed jerks his hips again, trying to encourage him to go deeper. “More,” Ed pleads. “I want more.”

Riddler mutters to himself, Ed can’t make it out, but that finger slides in deeper, pressing in until Ed feels the heat of Riddler’s hand against him then slowly withdrawing. He strokes Riddler’s erection from base to tip, gathering the fluid pooling at the tip and with a ragged groan slipping his fingers into his mouth to taste. 

Riddler hisses at the sight of it, Ed hums at the taste. One finger quickly becoming two. Ed’s eyes rolling back as he reaches down between his own legs to brush over where Riddler is sliding in and out of him. Dragging his fingers through the excess lubricant before sliding back to his opening and working his own finger inside himself beside his lovers. 

It’s tight, but so so good. Riddler sobs, hips jerking. “Ed,” he whispers pleading, “I need. Please, will you let me.”

“Oh,” Ed gasps, sliding his hand away to grab the lube and pour it, clumsy and shaky with one hand, over Riddlers erection. Forcing his eyes open to watch Riddler grab that hideous green dlido and drag it through the excess before pressing the head of it to Ed. “Yes,” Ed nods, “want you inside.”

Riddler presses in with an exhale. Ed gasps, grabbing at the sheets as Riddler works himself in and out of Ed’s body. His eyes fly back to the mirror but he’s startled to see Riddler so much closer than that. He can almost feel the other man’s body heat, spreads his legs wider to accommodate his hips and groans at the stretch of Riddler pushing his legs back to get the angle better. 

Ed relaxes into the steady thrusting of his lover, groans in appreciation when Riddler shifts and finds the perfect angle. He works his hips into the sweating form above him, moaning almost constantly as Riddler works him over, face buried in Ed’s neck as he picks up speed. 

It’s so good. Ed reaches down and strokes himself in time with his lover, building up and up until his pleasure breaks over him and with a sharp cry Riddler comes inside him and Ed pours out over his own chest. They collapse in a heap. 

Moments pass. Bodies relaxing. Connection slipping away. 

Ed giggles at the situation, he’s perhaps a little hysterical. He knows the last few moments had to be a vivid hallucination. That there’s no one there outside of the two of them and as much as he is starting to sometimes wish it was otherwise, Riddler isn’t corporeal outside of the shell that houses both their souls.

He looks toward the mirror, Riddler’s crying silently, tears flowing down his cheeks. Ed can’t help but join him. “Thank you,” Ed whispers. 

Riddler huffs waving a hand between them as if to brush the gratitude away. “Was this good for you?” He asks instead. 

Ed flushes, “More than good, you are a gift.”

Riddler smiles, shifting, Ed turns to face him. “What costs nothing but is worth everything, weighs nothing but lasts a lifetime, that one person can't own but two can share?” Riddler offers. 

“I love you, too,” Ed replies. Theirs fingers brush, hands squeeze. 

“Oswald will be home soon,” Riddler comments, “Let me clean us up a bit,” He goes to get off the bed before Ed can drag him back down. “Ed?” He questions, confused. 

“Let me,” Ed whispers, brushing the hair off Riddlers face with his hand. “I’m going to get us a rag and then I’m going to slide back and let you have full ownership of us.”

“Why?” Riddler asks as Ed goes to the bathroom. They look at each other through the mirror there. “What are you planning?”

“You said yourself,” Ed smiles and shrugs, “Oswald is coming home soon.”

Riddler looks lost, “And…”

“And imagine his delight, to find you wet, stretched, and ready,” Ed offers.

Riddler flushes from his groin to his forehead. “You planned this.”

“No comment,” Ed chuckles, “but if it’s too much…”

“NO!” Riddler almost shouts. Then more quietly, “No Sweet Boy, it’s not too much, I just feel….”

“Spoiled?” Ed offers, “Loved? Looked after? Cared for? Important?”

Riddler nods. 

“Good,” Ed nods back, “I certainly hope so. I’ll do everything in my power to never have you feel invisible again.”

“Will you stay close?” Riddler questions. “I’m not ready to let you go yet.”

“I’d be thrilled to be so included,” Ed nods. 

He slips to the back then, Riddler overcome for a moment by the warm feeling like his is being held from the inside. He settles, cleans them gently, takes them back to bed. After moving the mess from their fun off the bed to be dealt with later he turns off the lights and slips into the sheets with his lover. 

In the darkness Riddler murmurs to Ed, “Close, close all night the lovers keep. They turn together in their sleep. Close as two pages in a book that read each other in the dark. Each knows all the other knows, learned by heart from head to toes.*”

Ed smiles and curls closer. They cuddle and wait for their lover to come home. 

_* ― Poem by Elizabeth Bishop, Edgar Allan Poe & The Juke-Box: Uncollected Poems, Drafts, and Fragments___


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bed is warm when Oswald slips into it. He’s delighted to find his beautiful boys curled up together. Embracing is something they have little experience with and Oswald has learned the telltale signs of them occupying the same space. Their shoulders curve inward, arms wrapped securely around the core of their body. Oswald gathers them close to his body and enjoys the feeling of them unwinding from each other in a luxurious stretch.

Negotiations - 19

The bed is warm when Oswald slips into it. He’s delighted to find his beautiful boys curled up together. Embracing is something they have little experience with and Oswald has learned the telltale signs of them occupying the same space. Their shoulders curve inward, arms wrapped securely around the core of their body. Oswald gathers them close to his body and enjoys the feeling of them unwinding from each other in a luxurious stretch. 

“Hello, Little Bird,” Riddler rumbles contentedly into Oswald’s ear as he wraps his long arms around the smaller man. “Did you enjoy your time with our Martin?”

“Very much,” Oswald smiles into the side of Riddler’s neck as he nuzzles closer. “He’s brilliant. His brain works so quickly. He was walking me through some of his plans for that ridiculous cave Bruce is using. Thank you for bringing him back to me. I didn’t fully understand how much I missed him until he was suddenly there. His loss had just become another part of that ache that seems to live in my chest.”

“Are you happy with us?” Riddler asks as he presses teasing kisses along Oswald’s neck. “I hoped we might make that ache less severe.”

“You do,” Oswald murmurs as he turns into the man beside him and presses in to kiss his lips. “Life is complicated, I’ve learned that never changes, but with you both by my side the loneliness is fading.”

Riddler’s mouth opens under the pressure of Oswald’s lips with a soft noise of contentment. He seems to melt into Oswald’s frame. When they part for breath he whispers, “I think we were all lonely before this.”

“Mine was well earned,” Oswald answers with a self depreciating grin. He shushes Riddler when the man pushes on to argue. “I have spent much of my life a terrible, tyrannical person. You know that. Schemes upon schemes upon threats. I only ever looked out for myself.”

“And us,” Riddler corrects him. “You looked out for us many times.”

Oswald flushes, buries his face in the side of Riddler’s neck and wrapping his arms around the taller man. “Now you’re just trying to butter me up,” he mumbles. 

Riddler giggles. Oswald smiles in response. Then, for some unknown reason, opens his mouth into the curve of Riddler’s neck and seals his lips tight before blowing out air against Riddler’s neck with all of his might. The vibration causes Riddler to laugh, a loud, happy sound that makes Oswald laugh along with him. “Stop,” Riddler gasps, shoving at Oswald, trying to push him away while Oswald clings to him and tries to find if Riddler’s tickle spots are different from Eds.   
They end up engaged in a wrestling match back and forth across the bed with Riddler almost succeeding in pushing Oswald out of their nest and onto the floor. But Oswald clings to him like a barnacle. Oswald laughs until his cheeks hurt from smiling too much. Riddler manages to push him to the far side of the mattress before lunging the other direction in the hopes of being able to get a chance to catch his breath. He’s panting, on his stomach with his arms dangling off the side of the mattress. 

Oswald’s tempted to give him a break. But he can see Riddler’s smile from where he’s collapsed. Oswald rallies, climbing across the bed and between Riddler’s legs on his way to see if he can tickle some more giggles out of the other man. Instead, he finds himself derailed by sight of the plug nestled once again between Riddler’s cheeks. “What’s this?” Oswald whispers reverently. This fingers ghosting over the exposed end of the plug. 

The tone between them changes abruptly. Riddler turns his head to look into the mirror, still at the end of the bed. Oswald knows Riddler must be looking at Ed even though he’s unable to see him. “A gift for you,” Riddler whispers. “From Ed.” 

Oswald’s breath leaves him in a whoosh of air. “Just from Ed?” He questions, because as much as he’s so far beyond ready to do this, to ease this plug out of his lover and slide himself inside, it’s not enough if it’s just Ed that’s giving him this. It has to be both of them. 

It has to be the three of them together. 

“Me too,” Riddler murmurs, a blush spreading across the side of his face Oswald can see. “Please, Little Bird, will you take me tonight, fill me up, make me yours.”

“You’ve always been mine,” Oswald counters as he slips the plug free from Riddler’s body. Oswald’s fingers trailing a gentle circle around the opening to Riddler’s body. Already slightly puffy and red. “But it seems your earlier plans were successful as well. I’m concerned about how sore you might be tomorrow.”

“Do you know how much I look forward to that?” Riddler huffs. “A lifetime of wanting and then I get to give and take in the same night with the two people I love best? I want it, he wants it. Hell, Oswald, we frankly hope we have to walk with a limp in the morning. Can we move on from the discussion to the penetration?”

Oswald rolls his eyes. “I love you both, but you’ll be the death of me.” He takes the lube thrust at him over Riddler’s shoulder in what can only be an unspoken command. Pouring some on his fingers before slowly pushing two inside Riddler’s body. They both gasp, Riddler’s hips shifting restlessly into the bed beneath him while Oswald palms his erection with his free hand while stroking Riddler from deep inside. 

The moan Riddler lets out is close to orgasmic already. “Oh,” he gasps when he feels Oswald grasp one cheek to pull it farther to the side, his hole exposed, he’s flustered, turning back toward the mirror to see Ed watching, nude, stroking himself. Riddler whines. 

“What’s he doing?” Oswald asks as he slips in a third finger. 

“Watching,” Riddler whimpers. “Wanting us.”

Oswald hums, pleased they’re all engaged in this act together. 

“Did you touch him like this?” Oswald asks. 

Riddler lets out a pitiful whine in response, “Yes! I touched him like this, he helped me. Oh, Little Bird, he slid one of his own in beside me…” Riddler stops talking, panting, hips moving almost frantically against the bed. “Oswald,” he gasps, “Please, I’m going to come if you keep teasing me.”

Oswald’s mind is almost blank at the imagined image of what Riddler has described. He pulls his fingers free, tugs on Riddlers hips to turn him onto his back before bending down and licking a stripe up his erection. The noise Riddler makes is amazing. He almost wants to keep at it but the tugging on his hair is a clear sign that Riddler’s close to his boiling point. 

Instead Oswald kisses up his body, tender, brief presses of his lips across Riddler’s ribs, the side of his neck, over his cheekbone, his forehead. Stopping to press their faces side by side and breathe together, trying to center himself. “I’m feeling a little lost,” Oswald admits, as Riddler nuzzles the side of his face. 

“Vulnerable,” Riddler whispers back before kissing him, slowly, deeply, both of them finding their anchor in the other. They stay that way until Oswald’s lips feel puffy and sore. He dips in for one final press against his lover’s mouth before flopping over on his back and stretching as he looks at them both in the mirror. 

He doesn’t hate what he sees. Stomach could be flatter, he’s starting to lose his hair, his leg has always been mangled, but over all, what he focuses on is that for once, Oswald Cobblepot looks like a well loved man. 

It’s a good look on him he decides. 

“Will you ride me?” He asks as he watches in the mirror. Oswald grins as he sees the flashing back and forth between the two of them across the well loved face before Riddler grins wickedly and replies, “As you wish.”

For a terrible moment, Oswald’s not sure he’s going to even make it that far as Riddler’s lube slicked hand caressing his erection is so intensely perfect that Oswald has to think about Olga, still puttering about in the kitchen even now, to hold off his orgasm. 

But then Riddler is straddling him, balancing on one trembling hand against Oswald’s chest, reaching behind himself with his overly long arm to grasp Oswald, hold him steady, and press down gently until Oswald slips past the resistance and into Riddler’s body. It’s warm and wet and tight inside where they’re joined. Oswald panting and overcome as Riddler eases down until their hips are joined and then begins to rock his hips delicately as they both adjust.

“So good,” Oswald whispers. “So wonderful. You’re both such a gift. Thank you, Riddler. Thank you for sharing yourself with me.”

Riddler eyes well with tears. He swipes the back of his hands across eyes and huffs, “Shush. You mean the world to us, Oswald. You’re the piece of our puzzle that makes us fit.”

Then he bursts out laughing. “Ed says we are being ridiculous school boys and you should get on with it. I think he’s tired of waiting.”

Oswald makes a point to look at the mirror and roll his eyes. Just so he is sure Ed can see him. It’s a little bit insane, Ed’s not really in the mirror but at this point trying to make sense of this tangled mess of love affection he has in rational terms hasn’t worked so he’s embracing the insanity. 

But then Riddler lifts himself up and slides back down and Oswald quits thinking about anything other than what’s happening to him right now. They rock together with a stilted, awkward rhythm. Both of them uncertain but so very willing. It takes a few moments for them to figure each other out, but when they do the sparks that fly are more like fireworks. Riddler’s sweating, lythe body rolling like waves above Oswald’s prone form. Strong hands gripping his hips as Oswald helps to guide, lift, and reseat his lover. They’re both panting, pleasure building as Riddler grabs for Oswald’s shoulders and squeezes, releasing and then pleading, “More.”

Oswald surges up into him, their movements carrying an edge of aggression as they work toward completion. Oswald finally breaking and pouring his release into the clenching tightness of Riddler’s welcoming body. 

Riddler slows down, hips still working slightly.“Touch me,” he begs. “I need you to touch me.”

Oswald can’t help but obey. He reaches out and strokes his hand up and down Riddler’s length. Riddler keening as he grips Oswald more tightly before tossing his head back with a ragged shout and comes all over Oswald’s stomach. His whole body shivers, whimpering as he slides down to rest against Oswald’s chest until his breathing calms. Oswald kissing him over and over all across his face. 

Dawn is breaking as they clean up, all of them curling together in the now straightened sheets of their bed. Oswald content in the arms of his lovers as they hold him and touch each other gently. 

“Riddler,” Oswald mentions as they drift dangerously close to sleep, “Have you ever wanted to be called anything but that?”

“No,” Riddler answers, even as Ed’s hands pause in their delicate exploration of exposed skin. “For a very long time I had no name. To be called anything is a gift I’m happy to have. Especially now that you'll say it, Little Bird.”

Oswald huffs before asking, “What about a last name?”

“Riddler Nygma?” Riddler chuckles, “sounds terrible.”

“Nygma’s not even really our last name,” Ed offers with a shrug. “You could pick another one.”

“Like what?” Riddler contemplates aloud. 

“Cobblepot,” Oswald blurts before he can lose his nerve. “I’d like it if you would both consider Cobblepot.”

Then he rolls over and tries to fall asleep while the two lovers at his back blink, wide eyed, into the breaking sunlight now trickling in through the window.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Oswald,” Alfred comments as he takes the partially drunk bottle of wine from the other man’s trembling fingers, “You are going to HAVE to go home sometime.”

Negotiations - 20

“Oswald,” Alfred comments as he takes the partially drunk bottle of wine from the other man’s trembling fingers, “You are going to HAVE to go home sometime.”

“I’m well aware,” Oswald responds dryly. “But not yet.”

Alfred sighs the sigh of a man put upon my many. Oswald knows that to be very true. Not only has the man raised Bruce Wayne, but he’s fought the good fight against them, with them, for them, beside them, and even now he stands as a pillar to this bizarre arrangement they have with Bruce. Keeping their secrets, meticulously arranging what they need almost before they understand what that is. 

It’s honestly a little creepy. 

“You’re sure he’s safe,” Oswald asks for what must be the tenth time. 

“Martin has been well provided for,” Alfred rolls his eyes this time. It makes Oswald grin to think he’s pushed him that far. The facade of fine gentleman flickering to what really lies beneath. “Your...partner made certain of that. His security is of the utmost importance to us based on your demands. And frankly, he’s a delight. We would have taken steps to keep him safe even without your arrangement hinging on it. You should learn to trust someone, Oswald.”

Oswald rolls his eye around to glare at Alfred as though the man has lost his mind. 

Exasperated Alfred heads for the door. “Never mind. For a moment I forgot to whom I was speaking.” 

He shuts the door to the study behind him. Oswald glares at the wallpaper for an undetermined period of time before he hears a voice say, “Truthfully, I don’t think you’re the most paranoid person here. That’s saying something.”

Oswald nearly screams in fright. There’s been no indication the door to the room had reopened. “BRUCE! What the HELL are you DOING?!”

“I live here, Oswald,” Bruce comments as he sits down on the couch opposite the one Oswald is occupying. “You, contrary to the last two days, do not.”

Oswald grumbles turning his face so is blind eye is facing Bruce. Avoiding the look he knows is plastered on the younger man’s face. He always looks so serious now. 

“Oswald,” Bruce snaps, “You cannot propose to people and then RUN AWAY.”

“I didn’t RUN,” Oswald huffs. “I made a ...tactical retreat.”

When Bruce doesn’t immediately respond, Oswald turns back to face him. The dry, utterly unimpressed look he’s wearing on his face makes Oswald snort with laughter. 

“Oh,” Bruce nods, “And you’re drunk.”

“Am not,” Oswald waves his hand between them with a petulant, dismissing flip. “I only had one.”

“Glass?” Bruce asks.

“Bottle,” Oswald corrects. “Alfred took the other before I could finish it.”

There’s a beat of silence before Bruce sighs, “You come to my house uninvited, stay in a guest room without permission, drink my wine ...What are you doing here?”

He sounds exasperated. Oswald understands that. “I don’t have anywhere else to go, Bruce. I don’t have any family left living. I don’t have any FRIENDS because I’m an asshole. This is a safe place. My ...son is here. All I have are Ed and Riddler and I blurt out in bed in the middle of the night that we should get married?! Wait! No, that’s not what I did. What I did was even stupider. I suggested they adopt my last name with no mention of pending commitment on my end at all. And then, when it occurs to me that I can’t predict what they might do or say in the morning I flee my own home before they wake up, which has to win me extra brownie points in asshole land, and make it out the door, not knowing where I was headed. I ended up here. I don’t know what to do, Bruce. As long as I stay here ...As long as I don’t go back…”

“If you don’t go back, what?” Bruce asks. He’s clearly confused. The man is an idiot. 

“You’re always on the slow train aren’t you Batboy?” Oswald huffs. When Bruce doesn’t move even a single facial muscle he adds, “If I don’t go home then, at least in my mind, they’re still there waiting for me.” 

“And reality is?” Bruce presses.

“They’re probably long gone by now,” Oswald whimpers. Tears, long avoided, well up and spill down his cheeks. “I ruin everything. You should stay away from me. I’ll find a way to screw this up too. Just wait.” 

“Oh,” Bruce whispers. “Oh, Oswald. You have to go home. They haven’t left you. They’re just as messed up as you are.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Oswald pouts as he balls up his tie in his hands again and again. 

“Why did you like Jim Gordon?” Bruce asks. 

The departure from their conversation so abrupt Oswald feels dizzy with it for a moment. “What?”

“When I was a kid,” Bruce waves his hand over his shoulder. “You tried to help him. I want to know why.”

“Honestly?” Oswald asks. When Bruce nods he shrugs, “What do I have to lose at this point. I’m drunk, sobbing on your sofa. I have no pride left. I wanted him to like me. I thought I had made a friend. I didn’t know what that meant. I’d never had one. He was a...good man. I thought he was at least. I thought he could make me one too. Like what my mother wanted me to be. I thought if I could stand in his light he could help pull me out of the darkness. I was an idiot. People like me don’t have friends.”

“Do you think he tried to do that for you?” Bruce asks. 

“No,” Oswald shakes his head. “I think he has always been too connected to darkness to save anyone but himself.” 

Bruce sighs, looking into the fire. He looks crushed. 

“Not the answer you wanted?” Oswald asks. 

“No,” Bruce shakes his head. “But maybe the one I needed. You aren’t the only one with a complicated relationship.”

“Try catnip,” Oswald offers, “Or a giant diamond.”

“Go home,” Bruce orders. “Or tomorrow I have them come and get you.”

Oswald rolls his eyes, but he looks around for his hat. He might as well go to face the music. 

“Oswald,” Bruce comments as he leaves. “What we are accomplishing here...we couldn’t do that without you and their help. You’re not as drenched in darkness as you think you are, and you are not in it alone.”

“People like me don’t have friends, Bruce,” Oswald groans as he pushes himself to his feet. “I learned that a long time ago.”

“No,” Bruce nods, “But they do have family. You should go to deal with the other half of yours now. But let Alfred drive, okay?”

Oswald nods. Stumbling to the door to head down the hallway. He doesn’t respond, too choked up to trust himself to speak. 

Bruce watches him limp down the hall before turning back to the study and picking up the phone. “Hello,” a shaky voice answers from the other end of the line. 

“Are you both there?” Bruce asks. The whole Ed and Riddler situation had been difficult to explain and harder to get used to. But Bruce can acknowledge that there are distinctly two of them after months of exposure. 

“We are,” The voice stronger now, Riddler taking over. 

“Good,” Bruce huffs. “He’s drunk and sad and smells, but he's on his way home to you. Try not to be too hard on him okay? He thinks you’ve already packed up and left him by now.”

“Tempting,” comes the reply. They sound extremely over the whole situation, but Bruce knows that’s not true. 

“I don’t care what you have to do,” Bruce comments. “But keep him home with you. You don’t do well without each other. And you not doing well is bad for me.”

“We mess up you nightly patrol?” That’s definitely Riddler sounding defensive and snide. 

“No,” Bruce decides to go with honesty. “He’s just...fragile. We all are. Mistakes were made, feelings were hurt, but he loves you. Family doesn’t break as easy as this. Fix it. You all want to fix it. Just make it happen. You’re both smart, figure it out.”

He hangs up then. Pondering his own advice. 

Catnip...he’s tried that already.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald is tempted to slink in the backdoor of their house and try to slip away into bed before having a confrontation with Ed and Riddler. He’s a coward. He can admit it.

Negotiations - 21

Oswald is tempted to slink in the backdoor of their house and try to slip away into bed before having a confrontation with Ed and Riddler. He’s a coward. He can admit it.

But he so badly just wants to be held. 

He misses them terribly.

He heads for the front door. Sobering up and limping profusely. Miserable and embarrassed. A hot mess. The door is unlocked. Oswald creeps inside and finds...nothing. 

Well, that’s not true, nothing of importance, their belongings are still there. There’s just no Eds or Riddlers to be found. 

For one terrible moment he thinks his worst fear has been imagined, they’ve left him, moved on to greener pastures, finally had enough of his bullshit. A dry, choked sob breaks free from his mouth. It echoes around the room loudly. Oswald clamps a hand to his mouth, lips trembling as tears roll down his face. 

“Little Bird,” Riddler says from the top of the stairs, “Don’t cry.”

But once the stopper is pulled Oswald finds himself unable to put his tears away. He stands trembling in the entryway to his home sobbing out days of stress and frustration. Unable to move other than to lean against the wall. 

It’s Ed that approaches him. His hands gentle as they cup Oswald’s puffy face. “Love, I don’t understand what’s happening with you, but I promise you, we’re here. We’re staying. Come upstairs with us, let’s get you into the bath we have waiting and everything else can wait.”

Oswald manages to get himself together enough to walk, hiccupping intermittently as they head up the stairs. The bathroom is steamy, tub full of hot water and lemon grass scent. Oswald blubbers all over again as Ed helps him get undressed and settled in the warmth. There’s a comforting stroke through his hair before Ed leaves the room. Oswald gasping for breath in the tub as he hears his two lovers arguing in the bedroom. 

“We should make him explain himself,” Riddler snaps. 

“You saw him,” Ed counters. “He’s an absolute MESS. He can’t explain anything right now.”

“So what?” Riddler questions. “He’s the one that started this. He’s the one that ran. He’s responsible. We deserve an explanation!”

“You don’t want an explanation!” Ed grinds out through what sounds like clenched teeth. “You want a fight.”

“Yes, I DO!” Riddler roars. “So should YOU, Edward!”

“Do NOT tell me what I should or should not want!” Ed orders. “We LOVE him! OR have you forgotten that?”

“I haven’t forgotten ANYTHING,” Riddler’s voice rising to a shriek. “He’s playing with us. That’s what this is, it’s a GAME. All this time he’s been trying to get back at us for all the times we hurt him. It’s just the pattern repeating itself!”

There’s an extended period of silence. Long enough that Oswald fears Ed and Riddler have physically gone at each other. He’s scared enough he starts to try and get out of the tub and go find out what’s happening. But before he can Ed erupts with “YOU HAVE TOTALLY LOST YOUR MIND! I started THIS! I brought it up. You and I AGREED it was a good idea. We WAITED TEN YEARS for this. TEN YEARS and you want to toss it all in after a few bad days?! I’m NOT the weak one here. IT’S YOU! COWARD!”

There’s a thunk. Then a stream of curse words that Oswald didn’t even think Ed was capable of, and it’s DEFINITELY Ed that’s cussing. They come stomping back in the bathroom, Oswald thinks It’s Ed in control right now. His nose is bleeding. He’s all but snarling at the mirror image of himself and Oswald knows he’s missing most of the information because he can’t actually SEE Riddler. 

“What happened?” Oswald asks while Ed balls up toilet paper to stem the tide of the blood pouring out his face. 

“He hit me!” Ed snaps. 

“What?” Oswald’s pretty sure he heard that wrong. 

“HE HIT ME!” Ed yells while pointing an accusing finger at the mirror. “We were arguing, he didn’t like what I had to say and he hit me IN THE FACE!” 

Oswald turns to glare at the mirror before he realizes that makes no sense as he can’t actually communicate with Riddler that way. Something must have crossed over though because Ed’s whole body twitches and then leans forward menacingly over the tub where Oswald stills sits to all but spit in Oswald’s face, “DON’T YOU GLARE AT ME AFTER WHAT YOU DID!” 

Riddler then, back in control. Fine. 

Oswald reaches his hand up like a snap, snatching a hold of Riddlers throat and squeezing just enough for the other man’s eyes to widen before pulling him forward, into the tub on top of Oswald who cups his face and kisses him tenderly.

Riddler flails, tries to jerk away, sobs against Oswald’s mouth, and then collapses into the embrace with a choked noise and clings to Oswald with shaking fingers. When they part to breathe Riddler huffs, arms flailing, water rolling over the side of the tub and spilling across the bathroom floor as he weakly slaps at Oswald again and again. “You left us!” He accuses as Oswald tries to hold his hands and gather him close. “You promised you wouldn’t and you did.”

“I know,” Oswald admits. “I’m sorry. I’m afraid.”

“Of what?!” Riddler snaps, crossing his arms like a child and rocking himself back and forth. 

“Every other time we’ve decided to move the boundaries of our relationship it’s been you or Ed in the driver's seat. You’ve made the plan and we’ve talked about it extensively and you’re in control. I’m comfortable with that. I’ve gotten used to that. I’m pretty sure that’s how you and Ed like this to run. You both in the front seat and me...I’m along for the ride.”

Riddler looks at him blankly, like he’s hearing something he can’t believe. He doesn’t verbally respond but his body unwinds against Oswald as he relaxes. Less defensive. His hand coming out to press one large palm to Oswald’s chest with a terribly sad look on his face.

When he doesn’t comment Oswald presses on with, “When I blurted out what I did I meant it. I don’t think I had thought about it at all before that moment and I know that’s not how we do things. I just want to be with you both equally forever and those family bonds, those ceremonies, they mean something to me. They meant something to…” His throat closes up. He just can’t get it out. 

“To your mother.” Riddler whispers. His face contorted in grief. “Oh. I didn’t understand. There’s so much about family that I don’t understand, Oswald. You’re all the family I have ever had.”

“I’ve recently been informed out family is larger than we thought it was,” Oswald snorts. At Riddler’s odd look he sighs, “I’ll explain later. We make quite a picture, don’t we?”

Riddler turns to look in the mirror Oswald watches him take in whatever Ed must look like to him in there as well as Oswald’s haggard appearance, the beginnings of a beard, the dark circles underneath his eyes. Riddler and Ed have a wad of toilet paper shoved up one nostril. 

Riddler sighs. “Why run, Little Bird?”

“I thought my rashness had changed the rules beyond your comfort zone. I had broken so many rules. I just...panicked. I mean literally panicked. By the time it passed I was already at the manor. I almost had no recollection of how I got there. I didn’t know what to do. And let’s face it, once something has caught fire around me it’s status quo for me to add fuel to the fire. I’m prone to rash decisions, panicking over the consequences, not thinking things through, and then burning my whole life down to avoid imagined pain.” Oswald sighs. “I think I used every poor coping mechanism I have in the last few days.”

Riddler blinks at him. “You certainly aren’t the only one.” He turns back to the mirror, bites his lip before sobbing, “Ed. I’m so sorry. I’ll do anything you want. Just please don’t leave me.”

“You’re scared,” Oswald comments. Astounded he hadn’t seen it before. “Oh, Riddler. We’re all scared aren’t we?”

Oswald gasps as Riddler throws himself into his arms and buries his face in Oswald’s neck. It’s Ed’s voice that answers with a trembling, “Please just hold us. Don’t let us go again.” 

Oswald nods, wet, cold, hungry, and hung over, he decides he’ll sit there and hold them until the end of time if that’s what they need.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No hitting.” Oswald outlines in as soothing a voice as he possesses. This conversation continues to be a tricky one. Hence the quiet room, lack of disruptions, and chalkboard so they all can see. “Agreed?”

Negotiations - 22

“No hitting.” Oswald outlines in as soothing a voice as he possesses. This conversation continues to be a tricky one. Hence the quiet room, lack of disruptions, and chalkboard so they all can see. “Agreed?”

“Agreed,” Ed answers immediately. The swollen nose making him sound more nasal. 

“Agreed,” Riddler chimes in, the purple bruising under his eye making the absolute misery on his face stand out even more vividly. “And again,” he adds. “I'm terribly sorry. This should never have happened. I’m totally at fault.” 

“Stop,” Ed interrupts before Oswald can. “We’ve been over this. I believe you won’t do this again. Please forgive yourself for this. We’ve done far worse things to each other; the three of us.”

“But not while in a relationship with one another,” Oswald comments. He can tell by the way their eyes snap back to him, standing and writing on the chalkboard, that he has their full attention. “Two of us made terrible decisions in the last few days that put our whole relationship in jeopardy. As such, we need to re-evaluate our current understanding of the rules of our relationship and negotiation any and all salient points prior to moving forward. Edward, I’m aware you are uncomfortable with repeated apologies, but you’re also used to being under appreciated in your relationships with others so it’s important for me that you understand my grief at how my actions harmed you.”

Ed deflates into his seat. “So, I suppose, that it might be possible all three of us made poor decisions. My willingness to allow it to slide may well be my contribution to this whole mess.” There’s a beat of silence before he adds, “Please include this point in our list of items to review.”

Oswald nods, turns back to the chalkboard, and adds POOR SELF WORTH under Ed’s name at the top. “Does that about cover it?” He asks as he walks back beside his lovers and hesitantly reaches out to rub the back of their head. A week ago he wouldn’t even have thought about it before reaching out. Now…

They have a lot of ground to cover. 

Oswald looks at the board in grim silence. Taking in his name and the: IMPULSIVE, FEARFUL, CO-DEPENDANT, and SELF ESTEEM ISSUES written underneath before moving onto the others.

Riddler: LASHES OUT, POOR SOCIAL SKILLS, RESENTFUL, ISOLATED

Ed: EMOTIONALLY WITHDRAWN, PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE, OVER THINKER, and POOR SELF WORTH. 

And underneath that: NO RUNNING OUT, NO OTHER PEOPLE, NO THREATS, TALK TO EACH OTHER, and NO HITTING.

Oswald sighs. Ed groans. Riddler laughs. 

“We are a hot mess,” he says with a grin. Oswald snorts. 

They lean into his touch, grounding and reassuring. 

“Well,” Oswald comments as he takes his seat opposite theirs at the small dining table. “Might as well start at the beginning?” 

When they nod, Oswald swallows and gathers his courage before continuing, “I'd like a more active role in our processes related to romance and intimacy. I want to be clear I’m in no way upset by the way we had been going, but clearly I was left uncertain as to what to do when I desired something and it left us in a huge mess. I’d like to discuss terms related to my desires and have a set plan for discussion before this comes up again. Is that palatable?”

“Absolutely!” Both of them in unison. 

Ed bites his lip before beginning with, “I feel left out between you and Riddler sometimes.” When they both rush to reassure him he waves his hand dismissively between them, “No. the whole point of this is to work out how to get through this, not to bury it under a blanket of everything is ok. I’m not saying it’s actually happening that way or that either of you don’t want me. I merely mean that you two have an easy way of communicating and touching that is much more in sync with each other than I feel like I am with either of you. Based on what we just discussed and what’s on my list I’m wondering if it’s just that you both are more comfortable in the expression of your feelings and awareness of your feelings than I am in general. I’m much more in my head. I’d like support in exploring more emotional intimacy between the three of us if that is something you’re both willing to do.”

“Of course,” Oswald replies without hesitation. More emotional intimacy with someone he loves isn;t something he’s afraid of. 

“Yes,” Riddler answers 

“Non sexually,” Ed adds as almost an afterthought. “I rely on the sexual expression of intimacy to provide emotional closeness. It’s the day to day relationship context that I miss. For instance, I was unaware how much I was craving Oswald’s touch until you reached out to us just now. There’s been this ache in my chest but I didn’t know what it was. I believe I need more physical intimacy than I know how to ask for to feel secure.”

Oswald files that last bit away for further thought. He knows he’s touched starved, has been since his mother died, but it never occurred to him that Ed and Riddler might be at even more of a deficit for having never had a mother’s affection to begin with. 

Riddler sighs twice and wipes a hand down his face. “I don’t know how to cope with my feelings. I’ve funnelled them through rage and resentment for so long that I’m literally crippled emotionally when something doesn't go my way. I need to work on communicating my fears with the two of you and trusting that even if we don’t agree we are all committed to working this out together. Like we’re doing now. Ed was right, I am a coward. I just poured myself right back into my old belief system the second things got rough with us and while you were gone Ed and I went at each other like we used to because we didn’t agree on what to do. It got really ugly. By the time you came home I just wanted to...punish you, Oswald. I wanted you to hurt because we had been hurting. Because I was hurting and I’m petty enough that if I’m miserable I want everyone around me to suffer as well. I’m hoping we can make a commitment to have more meetings like this one? Having rules and boundaries helps me feel secure even if I act like I hate them. Can we do that?”

“I think that would benefit all of us,” Oswald comments. Ed nods his agreement slowly before scrunching up his face and adding, “I’m sorry, Riddler. I should have let you comfort me when you wanted to after we realized he was gone. I think I understand now, you were seeking reassurance from me because you felt scared and instead you got logical thought because I was trying to avoid my feelings. Am I right?”

“Yes,” Riddler agrees. “Though the decision to escalate to arguing still resides with me.”

“And the beginning of this whole mess starts with me running away like a panicked chicken,” Oswald comments dryly. They all sit in silence for a while staring at the chalkboard. “Well gentlemen,” Oswald announces, ready to move on from this moment toward the goals they have laid out together. “I’m hoping perhaps I can atone for my errors over the last few days by requesting your presence this evening for dinner and after a walk in the woods? I’d like to have, as they say, an opportunity for a do-over.”

“A do-over?” Ed blurts. Clearly confused. 

“You’re going to ask us to marry you again,” Riddler grins. “Aren’t you?”

Oswald looks away coquettishly.

“I assure you, Love,” Ed comments as he rises to their feet. “We’re a sure thing. No need to bring running shoes.”

Oswald tosses the chalk at them both while they all laugh. They don’t actually agree to dinner, but he knows they’re plan to attend by the way they are already bickering about which suit best brings out their eyes on the way to get ready. 

He looks back to the board with a pleased smile. He might just survive this relationship after all.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This type of tree doesn’t grow here,” Ed comments as they wander through the woods that evening.

Negotiations - 23

“This type of tree doesn’t grow here,” Ed comments as they wander through the woods that evening. 

Oswald’s been banking on both Ed and Riddler being distracted enough by the shenanigans of the past week that they have forgotten totally today is Christmas. Historically, it’s always seemed like they actively shut out all the signs of the holiday season. Oswald himself shows outward disdain at the twinkling lights and holiday carols. But secretly, he’s always craved having someone shower with gifts, to impress and care for, brightly wrapped presents under a tree. 

The tree.

The tree that Ed continues to stare at with increasing suspicion. “Oswald,” He starts again. “This type of tree doesn’t grow here. Neither do these poinsettias. I’m almost certain mistletoe is NOT native to Gotham, and none of this was here the last time we took this path. What is going on?”

Oswald opens his mouth to admit to everything he’s managed to pull together in the last 24 hours. Just wants to come clean and get this proposal on the road before he’s too cold to feel his knees. But Riddler beats him to the punch line, almost interrupting the end of Ed’s sentence to exclaim, “OH DEAR! It’s Christmas. ED! What is WRONG with us, we never forget ANYTHING and we manage to forget THIS?!”

“Not so much forget as actively avoid,” Ed counters. But he’s smiling, gently, like he’s pleased with the turn this evening has taken. 

Oswald smiles back before clicking the tiny remote he has hidden in coat pocket and turning to see the tiny clearing now filled with a towering Norway Spruce, other assorted plant life, and every color poinsettia you can imagine illuminate with the hundreds of strands of lights painstakingly added just hours before. 

Ed doesn’t make a single, solitary sound. Oswald turns to look at him, relief pouring off him as he sees that Ed’s face is frozen in wonder. Turning slowly to take everything in around him with his mouth hanging open before a blinding smile breaks over his face. 

“Do you like it?” Oswald hesitantly asks. 

“Are you kidding,” That’s Riddler responding. “It’s amazing! I’m amazed. How did you do all this, Little Bird?”

Oswald smiles, “I had a lot of help. The tree and the plants were the tricky part. Thankfully, Gotham’s Goddess of greenery has a soft spot for me.”

“Ivy,” Ed whispers almost to himself. “You got Ivy to grow these for you? Of course you did. How else could they be here, having them transported would have taken longer than you had. How did you get her to help you? I know you were close, but all these years later my understanding is that she hates humans in general.”

“She wanted something,” Oswald shrugs, “I happened to be in possession of the item she wanted. We cut a deal.”

“What did she want?” Riddler asks suspiciously. 

Oswald laughs, “Harley’s phone number.”

“She wanted Joker’s girlfriends phone number?” Ed says slowly like he can’t believe it. 

“Ex-girlfriend,” Oswald corrects as he wanders closer to his lovers. “I’ve helped Harley before, quietly. She’s had enough of clowns, came to the same conclusion we did. Joker is too insane for any of us. She’s not...a warrior for the good, anymore than we are, but she is a friend in the darkness. Ivy as well, so long as our paths align. Lucky for me, this time, they did.”

He looks up, into Ed and Riddlers face, where a look of what he can only call...adoration meets him. “You’re amazing,” They whisper to him, crowding close underneath the mistletoe. “Marry us?”

Oswald rolls his eyes and huffs, shifting from one foot to the other in the snow. “This is supposed to a me thing!” 

They laugh together, the three of them, out in the cold of the world but made warm by the strength of the others. 

Oswald bites his lip, takes a steadying breath, and drops, somewhat painfully, to one knee. “Edward, You were my first true friend. You were my first love, in the naive way I understood love at the time. Mistakes were made, bad choices clung to in the aftermath, but our paths led us back to each other over and over again. You helped me cling to life and hope after the loss of my mother. You have been my greatest support, my worst enemy, my best friend. I’m asking you to please be my husband now and for the rest of my life?”

He blinks snow out of his eye as he looks up at Ed, who is crying silently in the tiny clearing he’s chosen to propose in. Ed’s hand shakes terribly as he extends it, but it’s the wrong hand and Oswald kisses the back of that left hand before whispering to Riddler, “Wait your turn.” Ed burst out laughing but allows Oswald to tug his right hand forward and slip a band around his ring finger. “I know traditionally the left hand is where the rings go, but there are two of you in there, and you both deserve a ring, a proposal, my affections. So I hope you understand me giving this to you on this hand. It’s the one that belongs to you just like I do.” 

Edward is bending down then, cupping Oswald’s face and kissing him for all he’s worth. “Yes, I’ll marry you, you sweet sentimental fool. I love you so much.”

They press their foreheads together out in the snow for a very long time before Oswald feels the shift of Ed slipping back and Riddler pressing forward. He only has a second to blink before Riddler’s knees fold and joins Oswald on the snow covered ground with a gasp at the cold seeping through his pants. At Oswald’s odd look he grins and says, “There are specific circumstances where I’m comfortable with you being on your knees for me. This isn’t one of them. So where you go, I follow, Little Bird.”

Oswald flushes with warmth, he swallows, somehow more nervous about this than he was about Ed. “Riddler,” He chokes on the word and has to clear his throat. “I think you loved me before I was even certain you existed. You came for me when no one else would, brought me out of the darkness, saved the child I now call my son, and went above and beyond to bring him back to me. You’ve laughed in the face of torture to protect my revenge and would have sacrificed your life to allow me to see that through. Your gentle affection with me since we’ve been reunited, your care and passion for meeting me where I am and looking after me has not been ignored. I see you so clearly I sometimes catch glimpses of you in the mirror. Please do the honor of becoming my spouse?”

Riddler throws himself at Oswald both of them tumbling into the snow while the taller man nods frantically as he presses kisses all over Oswald’s face. 

“I’m going to drop the ring!” Oswald complains, forcing Riddler off the side in the snow and slapping the ring onto his chest. Riddler chuckles, slipping the ring onto his left hand and flexing his fist before spreading his arms wide and making a snow angel. One long arm smacking into Oswald’s head where he’s trying to roll himself back to his feet. 

“You are a giant child,” Oswald complains when he is finally able to find his footing. 

Riddler grins at him from the forest floor. “Little Bird,” he asks, “Can I have a just moment before we head back to the house? I need to do something and it feels silly but we promised transparency so I’d like to do it now while you can stand watch?” 

Oswald smiles, he’s pretty sure he knows exactly what Riddler has planned. “Of course, I’ll be right here.”

And with that Oswald watches the eyes of their body shut, the form fall as still as death in the snow and cold. He can’t help the besotted look on his face as he turns to scan the area around them in quiet. He knows there isn’t a chance in hell of them being interrupted. They have a bat patrolling the edges of their land tonight. 

A bat that swoops in close and whispers, “What’s happening? Do you need help?”

“No,” Oswald answers. “But thank you for checking. Riddler’s has a proposal of his own to perform and he needed to concentrate. They aren’t just marrying me, after all.”

He has a hard time telling the look on Bruce’s face in the suit. But the young man looks stunned for a second before nodding and slipping back into the darkness. 

Oswald leans against the closest tree to take the weight off his leg and watches over his beloved boys with a contented smile on his face. 

They shouldn’t be long.


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed feels a tug on his sleeve in the darkness.

Negotiations - 24

Ed feels a tug on his sleeve in the darkness. 

He ignores it at first, sometimes no matter how deep you go some things will cross over the barrier erected between him and Riddler. They deserve their privacy now, and if Ed is being really honest with himself, he doesn’t want to see Oswald propose to Riddler. Doesn’t want to catalog and measure it against his own experience and decipher which of them he thinks Oswald loves more. 

Ed is more sensitive than he admits to being and here in the darkness with no one but himself to know he can admit he experiences terrible jealousy and crippling anxiety related to his contributions to this relationship. He shivers, the air around him feeling starkly colder than it did a moment ago. 

He pulls his arms around himself and rubs frantically at the exposed skin of his arms before wondering where his coat has gone. It was just here a moment ago. Then he’s scooted forward abruptly by a feeling like someone is shoving him in the center of his back.

Nothing like this has ever happened before. Ed struggles for the briefest of moments, trying to force his way back up to the top, to reality, before it feels like he’s enveloped in the softest, most comforting blanket he’s ever felt. 

Safe. 

He’s safe. 

He closes his eyes and exhales slowly. Working to calm his frantic brain and pounding pulse. He counts back from one hundred and when he gets to one he opens his eyes expecting to be surrounded by inky blackness and instead finds himself standing in the library where they once took shelter during the siege. But instead of ruins it’s immaculate, pristine, and there’s a bed in the middle of the library. 

That’s certainly not supposed to be there. 

He looks around before looking down at his own bare feet. Where did his winter clothing go? He’s in pajamas. 

This makes no sense. Even for him. 

“Relax,” Riddler comments from beside the fireplace. “It’s just us.”

“Why am I in pajamas?” Ed blurts before can really think through the infinite number of questions he wants to ask about what’s going on. 

“I was hoping you might want to...cuddle?” Riddler comments as he gestures to the bed. 

“Is that a euphemism?” Ed snaps. “What is this place? What’s going on? Where are we? Is Oswald okay? What’s happening with our body?”

“Breathe,” Riddler comments before walking cautiously closer. “I see we’ve decided to go full on paranoid about this. I was wondering where on the scale you would fall between wonder and total meltdown.”

“I’m leaning toward meltdown,” Ed admits before wiping a hand down his face. “Why are we here? I didn’t even know we could do this ...”

“We haven’t been able to do this,” Riddler admits. “I won’t be able to keep it up for very long this time either due to the amount of energy I had to expend to bring you here. If this is something you decide you like, we can work on sharing the burden of this place and then we will be able to sustain it longer. Maybe even one day figure out how to include Oswald.”

“But why now?” Ed questions as he steps further into the room. “Aren’t you in the middle of getting proposed to right now?” 

“No,” Riddler huffs. “We’re done.”

“And you just left Oswald standing out there in the cold?” Ed questions. 

“No,” Riddler rolls his eyes. “I talked to him about this ahead of time. We won’t be gone long if you would just get with the program here and let me propose to YOU?”

“But you could have done that in the bathroom mirror,” Ed wonders. “Why go through all this?”

Riddler finally storms toward him, a look of absolute frustration written all about his face. “Because, you incessant worrywort, if I had used the bathroom mirror I wouldn’t have been able to do this!” Then he grabs Ed’s hand in his and tugs Ed forward into his arms. 

Ed freezes. Riddler is touching him. 

Riddler, in a body that belongs to just him, is touching Ed.

They’re hugging. 

Riddler is holding him, face pressed up next to Ed’s so closely that their cheeks are touching. He’s so warm. So solid.

Ed bursts into tears and buries his face into Riddler's neck. “You can touch me?”

Riddler chuckles, deep and warm into his ear. “I told you, I wanted to cuddle. You’re being really stubborn.”

Ed laughs, it’s watery, but he’s still joyful. “Please teach me how to do this,” he pleads. “I want to come back here with you and do just that.”

Riddler nods against his cheek before tugging his face up and wiping tears from Ed’s face. “I love you,” Riddle tells him, sounding so certain, so concrete about it that Ed can’t bring himself to second guess him. 

“I love you too,” Ed replies as he traces the edge of Riddler’s face with his fingertips. 

“Edward Nygma,” Riddler says with a small shake of Ed’s frame. “You have been my partner the whole of my life. You brought me into existence, gave me purpose, pushed me to always better myself, even when we did not agree. You led me to love, stole it away, and then decided to share it with me. We have been enemies, we have been friends, and now we’re lovers. I’m asking you to be something else with me. Marry me, Edward. Be my husband even though it may only ever be real to you and me and our Bird. Marry me, please, and let me love you until the day we take our last breath together.” 

Ed nods, “Yes, please,” It never crosses his mind to even consider saying anything but yes. Riddler is such a part of him that he can’t fathom anything being more perfect. He smiles as something suddenly occurs to him. “I can kiss you here. Can’t I?”

Riddler grins, “Only one way to find out…” he teases. 

But Ed is already pressing in and manages to kiss the last word off Riddler’s face. Lips melting together as though they had done it a million times before they both lean the same way and their glasses bang into each other. Both of them jerking away laughing before Ed leans in, much more cautiously this time, and licks his way into Riddler’s mouth. 

Riddler whines, clinging to him desperately. They part for air and Riddler groans and presses their foreheads together as the room seems to start vibrating. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I can’t hold this anymore. I need to rest. Let Oswald help you back to the house.” At Ed’s look of disbelief Riddler adds, “Penguins are well suited for snow, Edward. Let him take care of you for both of us, please.”

There’s a kiss pressed against his forehead and then Ed blinks his eyes open, flat on his back, out in the snow, wondering how the hell he got here. 

“Things go as planned?” Oswald asks as he offers Ed a hand up.

The taller man glares at him without much heat and replies, “The two of you colluded against me.”

“For you actually,” Oswald laughs. “Though I was able to surprize you both with this scene.” He gestures to the tree and lights surrounding them. 

“Yes, you did,” Ed smiles, brushing off his coat and taking Oswald’s offered arm to lead him back to the house. “Plans for the rest of the evening? I hope you don’t mind being stuck with just me, Riddler wore himself out.”

“Edward,” Oswald stops in his tracks and turns his one good eye onto Ed with such scrutiny Ed actually squirms. “Do not EVER infer again that I am in anyway stuck with you. It’s offensive. So you can have time to prepare yourself, I’m walking you home, warming you up with a hot bath, dressing you in the softest sleepwear I could find and then snuggling you down in front of the fire to hold you whether you like it or not.”

Ed blinks, they walked in silence for a while until Ed can no longer contain himself. “Love,” he blurts. “He kisses differently than me.”

Oswald laughs loudly until he breaks down into coughing. Gasping out, “Yes, Beloved. He does.”

Oswald presses a kiss to his temple and starts walking again. 

Ed blushes, brushing freezing fingers across his own lips, but does as his fiancee requested and allows the love of their lives to lead him home.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edward is slowly, maybe ridiculously slowly, relaxing into Oswald’s embrace.

Edward is slowly, maybe ridiculously slowly, relaxing into Oswald’s embrace. 

There’s an almost glacially paced relaxation of his muscles from his jaw to his neck, down his back, around his arms, down to his fingers finally unclenching. Oswald watches it all with fascination until with a pleased sounding sigh of relief Ed collapses fully into his arms. 

“There now,” Oswald whispers against the taller man’s temple. “I’ve got you. This is wonderful.”

The lights are off, both of them snuggled up under the weight of the ancient patchworked back together quilt from Ed’s old apartment. Ed had been totally glazed over in the bath, humming quietly to himself as Oswald pet his hair. They had trailed down the hallway to the living room where the quilt had been waiting and for a brief moment Oswald thought perhaps Ed was going to cry at the mere sight of it. All and all a wonderful evening up to that point. 

But then he had suggested they cuddle. From there things had gotten...tense. 

Oswald was completely lost, they had snuggled together many times before tonight. What had triggered Ed’s emotional discomfort he didn’t understand and was honestly afraid to question for being worried that the situation would only worsen. 

By the time Ed had relaxed completely Oswald could barely contain himself. “Ed,” he finally whispers after moments of holding Ed close to his chest while the other man rubbed his face against the soft material of Oswald’s shirt like a giant cat. “Are you well?”

Ed stills for a moment before answering with, “I’m used to being the one holding someone else. I’m tall and long limbed and I don’t have much experience being the...I guess they call it Little Spoon. I didn’t want to disappoint you with being too gangly or uncomfortable.”

Oswald blinks into the comfortably dim lighting around them. “So the stiffness is just you feeling out of place at first?” 

Ed nods, he’s moved on from rubbing just his face to wriggling his whole body against Oswald’s smaller frame as though he’s trying out different positions for comfort. But he suddenly lifts his head to ask, “Oswald? Were you concerned it was something else?”

“Yes,” Oswald answers honestly while praying Ed moves onto another topic before Oswald has to own up to his own discomfort. But he’s never been that lucky and Ed has always had a curious brain. 

“What were you worried about?” Ed questions, his hands trailing up and down Oswald’s sides and across his belly. It’s not erotic, but Oswald has to struggle with himself not to shrug Ed’s hand off this part of his body he has yet to really come to terms with. 

He shivers before covering Ed’s palms with his own and replying, “I worry one day you’re going to realize how different my body is now.”

Ed blinks at him. “Oswald. I have seen you naked...multiple times. I’ve done delicious, terrible things to your body and adored every second of them. Do you really think one random night, the night of our engagement mind you, that I’m going to suddenly realize you’re larger than you were fifteen years ago and be disgusted by you?” 

“Well,”Oswald huffs looking away at the wall, “When you put it that way….”

Ed smiles, tugs his hands out from under Oswald’s to stroke down the front of his chest before pressing in close and resting his head on Oswald’s shoulder. “I have to tell you, I’m fairly certain you think you’re heavier than you are. Not much has changed about you, Love. You’re more sturdy for certain, but what you see and think of as surplus weight is actually a fair bit of muscle mass covered with an insulating layer of softness. You’re much stronger than you were before Blackgate.”

Oswald flushes, “There wasn’t much to do there but eat, run the books, and lift weights. I had to do something with my time. I didn’t think you had noticed the strength training.”

“I notice everything,” Ed chides him teasingly. “Well, except for my own feelings of inadequacy.”

Oswald snorts into his hair, “I never meant for you to feel less than in our relationship, Edward.”

Ed nods against his shoulder before pressing a kiss to the exposed side of Oswald’s neck. “Of course you didn’t. I know that. This is about me. I have felt less than my entire life.”

There’s a beat of silence before Oswald works up the courage to ask, “Will you tell me a bit more about it?”

Ed is still for a while other than tracing the hem of Oswald’s shirt again and again. “It’s funny,” he finally whispers. “I never had to tell Riddler. He was there for all of it. I’m so used to never having someone invested in me for just being me that it never occurred to me until just now that I actually have to talk to you for you to understand my history and my feelings about myself because of it. I’m sorry, Ossie. I’ve been treating you for a very long time like you just intrinsically knew what made up my psyche.”

“No need,” Oswald murmurs before pressing a tender kiss to the corner of Ed’s mouth. “But I would very much like to understand why it’s so difficult for you to accept love and affection I feel for you when you are so deserving of it.”

Ed flushes pink all the way to his ears. He takes a deep breath and then another before saying in the most vulnerable voice Oswald has ever heard him use, “It started with my mother. That’s the curse of having an eidetic memory. I can’t forget anything, even when I REALLY want to. My mother wasn’t a violent person, not like my father, but she was...cold. I don’t ever remember a time in my childhood where she held me, comforted me, soothed me. I struggled a great deal when I was young. I had a curious mind and a thirst for knowledge. So many questions and no understanding that the things I was interested in or the questions I was asking were weird for a child my age. I was ostracized by the other children, my teachers, the neighbors. And by doing that, I reflected poorly on my mother. We were poor, you understand the assumptions of poverty. You’ve lived it. My mother wanted social standing and my father’s alcoholism coupled with my...oddities kept her from ever being able to achieve her dreams. She never hurt me physically, not herself. But there were so many situations she designed that ended with my father hurting me, hurting us, hurting Riddler. All orchestrated by her need to punish us both for our shortcomings.”

Ed pauses, turns to look Oswald in his eye and murmurs, “Your attachment to your mother was one of the first things that drew me to you. You had a relationship that I never had, feelings and security that I wanted to examine. And when she died, and I found you in the woods, I wanted terribly to see if maybe I was good enough some of that love for her might rub off on me. I supposed that sounds somewhat disturbing, but I had no frame of reference.”

Oswald snorts before nuzzling Ed’s cheek, “Looking back, I’m not sure my relationship with my mother was entirely healthy either.”

They share a glance, and a smile before Oswald tugs Ed’s face up for a lingering kiss, Ed clinging to him as he reciprocates before settling back against Oswald and asking, “Should I go on?”

“For as long as you would like,” Oswald answers. 

So Ed talks, and talks. There are times when Oswald struggles to process the intensity of what he learns, uncertain what to say or do to soothe some of Ed’s history of suffering. “I’m sorry,” he finally offers when Ed stops to collect himself. 

Ed grins and kisses his cheek, “I’m not. It led me to you.”

And he begins again, discussing his fears, losses, aspirations, and Oswald, having always been a good listener, holds him close throughout the night and for the first time in Ed’s life, truly allows him to be heard.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “If you don’t stop,” Oswald gasps into his hands, “I’m going to come before you even get inside me.”

Negotiations - 26

“If you don’t stop,” Oswald gasps into his hands, “I’m going to come before you even get inside me.”

Ed makes a noncommittal noise against his skin.

“Edward!” Oswald snaps, wiggling his hips to try and drive his point home. “I mean it, you have to stop. Start. Something. PLEASE!”

Ed huffs out a breath before nipping his inner thigh. “But I’m having such a good time. Give me a few minutes.”

Oswald whimpers, but spreads his legs a little farther, allowing Ed’s index and middle fingers to slip a little further inside of his body. He moans, Ed groans his approval into the crease of Oswald’s hip before licking against his skin closer and closer to Oswald’s erection. 

So close and so far away. Both feel like a curse right now. 

Oswald’s about to complain again. He wants to come, he wants to wait until Ed’s inside him. He’s worried Ed won’t be inside of him if he comes too soon. He’s been dreadfully resistant to penetration after Oswald has reached completion in the past. 

He wants so badly to experience having Ed fill him up inside. 

“Please,” he pleads. “I don’t, I can’t, inside me, please?”

“Want you to come first,” Ed murmurs as he nuzzles Oswald’s straining erection, long, talented fingers stroking deep inside his body. Oswald’s hips working against the stroking seeking more pleasure. “Come first, Love,” Ed orders as he laps at the head of Oswald’s cock. “Then, when you’re relaxed, I’ll bury myself inside you and stay there until you’re hard again, until you come again.”

With that, he takes one final lick along Oswald’s length before wrapping his lips around Oswald and sliding down his shaft. Oswald wails, hands flailing in the air, hovering over Ed’s head and shoulders, clenching and unclenching as he tries so hard not to thrust, not to choke Ed who is still, much like Oswald himself, learning to give a lover pleasure this way. They’re still so tentative with each other in some ways. 

Ed’s form is shaky, his rhythm is uncoordinated and he occasionally goes too deep, takes Oswald too far in and chokes himself. Oswald wipes the trickle of tears off Ed’s cheek, unconcerned by their presence, Ed has assured him many times it’s just his bodies reaching to him accidentally gagging himself. He’s not upset or hurt in any way. 

At the touch of Oswald’s fingertips against his face Ed rumbles out a groan deep in his throat and tightens the suction he’s been using on Oswald. Between the groan and Oswald’s own desperation it’s enough and with a high pitched whine Oswald comes. 

His whole body contorts, back arching, shaking all over, he opens his mouth in a silent cry, clenching uncontrollably around the feeling of Ed’s fingers still deep inside. Oswald collapses against the sweat soaked sheets whimpering pitifully at the loss of Ed’s fingers as they slide free of his body. 

For a moment, he feels so lost and empty. 

But then Ed is sliding in close, pressing the warmth of his body up against Oswald’s slightly chilled frame. Oswald spreads his legs further apart, welcoming Ed’s body weight between them as Ed’s hands cup his cheeks and kiss him thoroughly, passionately, hands stroking from his cheeks down his neck, over his chest, across his sides and over his hips. He’s nipping at Oswald’s lips playfully as his hands slide down the insides of Oswald’s thighs to trace nimble fingers over the back of his knees. 

Oswald, unbelievably, feels his a tingle of arousal strong enough to make him think Ed might not be so entirely insane about his ability to come twice tonight. And then, Ed eases his knees up, angles his body closer, and as Oswald pants, staring at Ed with wide open eyes, Ed starts the slow, insistent slide into Oswald’s body. 

“Oh,” Oswald gasps, “Ed…”

Ed bites his lower lip, glasses sliding down his nose, his eyes never leaving Oswald’s face until he’s buried completely inside. “Love,” He whispers once he’s still. “Thank you for being so patient for me.”

“Love you,” Oswald gasps as Ed slowly starts to withdraw, For a bizarre moment he considers begging him to stop, to stay inside him forever, to never leave. But then Ed reverses course and presses back in, in, in. 

“I love you,” Ed whispers back before he tosses his head back with a groan and starts to pick up speed. “Oh, Os, you beautiful, amazing creature. How have I gotten so lucky.”

Oswald clings to Ed’s shoulders, hips beginning to circle with the slick slide of Ed’s thrusts. He’s hard, but the desperation he felt earlier is gone, there’s a peace about him, a feeling of being content with everything in just this moment of his life. He murmurs his pleasure into Ed’s skin with a smile before reaching up and plucking at Ed’s nipples. 

Ed barks out a sharp noise of pleasure, hips snapping into Oswald. Oswald groaning and jerking his hips back close in response. Their stuck in a feedback loop all of a sudden, Ed moaning as he drops his head onto Oswald’s shoulder. One long limbed arm sliding between their bodies to wrap around Oswald’s erection. 

Ed’s pleading into his neck as Oswald works his nipples, brushing across them, plucking between his fingers, tugging then circling them. “Please, Love,” he whispers, “Need to come with you. Want to so badly.” 

Oswald huffs, hips jerking as Ed drags the side of his nail along the back of Oswald’s knee. It’s enough, Ed’s scent, the way they’re connected, the hot pressure inside his body. He whimpers as he comes again. The gentle swell of his orgasm so different that what he’s used to that he practically melts into the mattress. He feels Ed’s body tense and then unwind, aware that in his own bliss he missed the moment Ed toppled over the edge with him. 

Ed hums as he follows Oswald down to relax, slipping free of his body with a hiss. “Perfect,” He rumbles into Oswald’s hair as he curls around him. 

“That’s you,” Oswald whispers back


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let me get this straight,” Oswald sighs, the beginnings of headache starting above his eye. “You want me to agree to take a massive hallucinogen, put this weird halo thing on my head, and follow you into some mind palace you and Riddler built that doesn’t exist outside of your mind.”

“Let me get this straight,” Oswald sighs, the beginnings of headache starting above his eye. “You want me to agree to take a massive hallucinogen, put this weird halo thing on my head, and follow you into some mind palace you and Riddler built that doesn’t exist outside of your mind.”

“That about covers it. Yes,” Ed nods definitely as though the whole thing is settled. 

Oswald shakes his head. 

If he’s being totally truthful with himself, it probably is. He’s a sucker for them.

“And exactly how are we going to guarantee our safety if the three of us remain in a trance like state indisposed until such a time the drugs wear off and you bring me back?” He questions as a last ditch effort to push off the inevitable. 

Edward smile and gestures to the doorway with flare. It swings open and Martin steps in with a delighted wave of his hand and a smile. Oswald beams at their son before turning suspicious eyes back to Ed when Martin starts unpacking a bag full of weapons on the end table. 

“You’re going to put Martin at risk?” Oswald huffs. 

“Martin is putting himself at risk,” Ed counters with a roll of his eyes. “We also have a state of the art security system and every other precaution possible. Stop stalling and take off your coat.”

Oswald grumbles but complies.

It’s all for show anyway, he’s looking forward to it. Well… mostly.

“To be honest,” he shares as he settles back against the couch. “This would be a non-issue entirely if it weren’t for the headgear. It just reminds me of Strange. I still remember the pain.”

Ed blinks at him for a moment before clasping their hands together and saying, “I modeled this after his device.” 

Oswald recoils with a wave of panic. 

“No pain!” Ed almost shouts as he clings to him. “I swear, Oswald. No pain at all. It wouldn’t be worth it if it hurt you. We want you to enjoy this process and be comfortable and safe.”

Oswald takes a few deep breaths as Ed strokes his hands and Martin rests a warm palm against the back of his neck. “I love you both so much,” Oswald murmurs between them relaxing as Ed bends to press kisses to his fingers and Martin draws a heart on his back with his index finger. 

“Let’s do this,” He says as he sits back up and wipes his face. “Give me the drug.”

Ed looks like he’s about to cry as he stumbles to his feet, “We’ve removed the addictive component from the mixture. I promise you, Oswald, we took every precaution.”

“For the love of,” Oswald replies, running thin on patience and high on anxiety. “I know you both wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. Just let me take it and we can get this show on the road.”

Martin makes a garbled noise behind him that Oswald has learned to classify as a laugh. He kisses Oswald’s head and leaves the room, locking the door behind him and leaving Ed and Oswald alone in the small study.

Ed hands him a liquid. Oswald tosses his head back and swallows it down. The aftertaste reminds him of ginger tea and he can’t help but smile. 

He closes his eyes as Ed wires the device against his head. By the time he’s done Oswald is already slipping away. 

He’s barely aware of Ed’s weight settling against the couch cushions beside him. 

There’s a door in front of him, elegant and wooden. Oswald looks down at his hand, longer fingers, more graceful than he thinks he actually appears, and knocks using the heavy lions head adorning the door. It slides open and Riddler answers. 

Oswald is momentarily stunned. 

“You look,” he whispers, hands hanging between them as he takes it all in. “Amazing, Old Friend.”

Riddler, who answered the door with a look of concerned hesitation has a smile full of relief and affection bloom across his face. He gathers Oswald into a loving embrace burying his face in Oswald’s neck and exhaling into his skin. “Is it alright?” He whispers. 

Oswald pulls back with an eye roll, making a point to take a few moments to trail his eyes over Riddler’s altered appearance. Shorter, dyed green hair, delicate pattern of inky black question marks tattooed up and down his arms. His glasses are missing, green eyes staring back at Oswald as he takes it all in. He’s taller than Ed. Tailored pants leaving little to the imagination. A piercing adorning his lower lip that makes Oswald want to bite at it.   
“I could eat you up,” Oswald answers honestly. And then can only cling to his lover as Riddler leans down, tugs him close, and kisses him with everything he has. 

Oswald’s so distracted by it that he nearly screams into Riddler’s mouth when he feels hands come to rest on his shoulders. Riddler chuckles as he steps away and makes room for Oswald to turn around into Ed’s waiting arms.

Ed, who is Oswald’s height, shoulder length hair hanging slightly in his face, blushes at Oswald’s surprised gasp and looks down at their feet momentarily before glancing back up at him with the brown eyes Oswald is used to seeing. He’s wearing an oversized sweater, his feet are bare, that detail alone enough to make Oswald stare at his high arches. 

“What’s going on?” he whispers to them both before reaching out and tucking some strands of Ed’s hair behind his ear. 

“It’s our mind,” Riddler murmurs into his ear before bending and placing a kiss on his neck. 

“In here,” Ed follows up as he steps closer and nuzzles against Oswald who lets out a shaky exhale at their warmth. “We look like we want to look. More like what we wish we could be. We share our body so we have to strike a middle ground with our appearance. Here we just...are.”

He leans in then, the tip of his tongue brushing over Oswald’s lower lip before Oswald reaches out, threading his hands into Ed’s hair and kissing him deeper and deeper while their hands grab and brush against each other across and around his body. 

“You’re my size,” he comments when they drift from kissing to just holding each other. 

“He’s actually a little shorter than you,” Riddler comments as he wraps his arms around them both. “You’re both snack sized.”

Ed laughs, head thrown back with abandon. 

Oswald has to crush a fleeting thought about his weight. 

“We can hear you,” Riddler warns. Ed nods, “You’re in our mind. It’s hard to keep secrets. Want to see what you look like to us?”

Oswald is terribly interested and utterly terrified at the same time. But after some consideration he nods and they lead him to the corner of the room where he can see a full sized mirror. He glances back at them when they stop just outside of the field of vision. Ed giving him a nod to go on and look while Riddler grins and gives him a thumbs up. 

He finally works up the nerve to look and nearly passes out. He’s pale, as always, his dark hair softened by the grey he’s carrying now. His eye is still missing, but for some reason he has no decreased vision. It’s as though they both work again. He’s less angular than he thinks he is in real life, nose less sharp, eyes wider. 

But the biggest difference is his weight. Sure, there’s roundness to his middle, his chest more broad, his arms thicker. But he thinks he must be half the size he is in real life and there’s a terrible feeling of betrayal in that. 

“I thought you said you liked my weight,” He accuses. His hands wringing as he broadcasts his agitation to them both. “Is what I look like every day not good enough for you?”

But Ed and Riddler look at him and then each other as though they’re both confused. Then they step into the field of view for the mirror and stare at his reflection for a long moment before looking back at him and then each other again. There’s a silent conversation done mostly with eyebrows before Oswald can take no more and erupts with, “WHAT IS IT?!” 

“Oswald,” Riddler says slowly. “This IS what you look like every day.”

Oswald’s mouth drops open. 

Ed nods, “Love, I’m afraid to ask, but what do YOU think you like? This is you no alterations.”

“I can see out of both eyes,” Oswald snaps. 

“Oh,” Riddler comments. “That’s probably because we see out of both eyes. It’s our brain so we don’t really know what you see. But the body shape is the same. I swear.”

Oswald gazes at himself for a long time, chin trembling, a sea of emotion swelling around him. 

“I look at myself and I’m twice this size,” he finally admits as the tears finally fall from his eyes. 

They gather him up then, murmuring sweet words into his ears as the tug him over to the bed and pile into it with him in the middle, surrounded by love on all sides. 

“You’re wrong about yourself,” Riddler whispers to him. 

“You’re beautiful,” Ed murmurs as he kisses away his tears. 

Oswald digs deep within himself and finds the courage to start to believe they’re right.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oswald is pretty sure no one can be this overstimulated and survive the experience.

Oswald is pretty sure no one can be this overstimulated and survive the experience. 

“You’re going to kill me,” he pants. “I’m going to be brain dead when this is all over.”

Riddler has the nerve to snort out a laugh against his skin, making Ed mumble his dislike of the interruption around the mouthful he currently has of Oswald’s erection. Oswald watches and almost, ALMOST, wishes he could look away as Riddler hums and leans in to lick around the edge of Ed’s stretched mouth until Ed lets Oswald slide free just long enough to slide his mouth down the side and kiss Riddler back around the length of his hard on. 

The noise Oswald makes is far from human. He buries his fingers in Ed’s long hair and tugs as he thrusts into the open air while Riddler drags the edges of his teeth up and down his length. His legs are stretched so wide to fit them between his knees that his thighs ache, his behind hanging off the edge of the bed he’s propped up on so that Ed can finger him slowly. 

So fucking s-l-o-w-l-y.

Ed has the nerve to coo at him while Oswald thrashes, trying to get friction where he needs and wants it on some part of his person. He almost has it right where he wants it until Riddler ducks his head and sucks one of his testicles into that wicked mouth of his. 

Oswald sobs as he falls back to the bed, neck stretched as he whimpers. This is amazing. He feels like they have been at it for hours, and he just can’t come. He’s gotten so close many times but he never relaxes, never comes down from this terrible, beautiful ache. Never goes soft. He’s lost as to why.

“You’re going to be such a mess when we wake up,” Ed comments in between licking the head of his cock. “So filthy. Absolutely covered in come.”

Riddler makes a desperate, pitiful sound against Oswald’s skin in response. Ed presses his finger in just a bit deeper before stroking over his prostate and making Oswald wail as his hips jerk and he the world goes dark for a moment before he’s back and he’s still hard, and now Riddler has slipped a finger inside him alongside Ed’s and Oswald actually feels tears roll down his face. “Please,” he whines. A thread of panic rising inside him, he feels so out of control. 

Everything stops. He blinks his eyes open, wiping at the wetness running from them down the sides of his face and pushes himself back up to look at the two men kneeling before him.

“Little Bird,” Riddler murmurs. “Are you well?”

“Overwhelmed,” Oswald blushes as he admits it. The vulnerability still sometimes hard for him. “It’s all so much and I don’t understand what’s happening to my body.”

Riddler’s smile is full of acceptance and kindness. Oswald turns to Ed who nuzzles his thigh with a sigh before pressing a tender kiss upon it. Oswald immediately relaxes into their care. 

“We don’t understand ALL the specifics,” Ed comments as he smiles at Riddler. “But as long as you're here, because it’s not on the physical plane, you can give and receive as much pleasure as you want. You’re body won’t tire, your orgasms can last seconds, minutes, what feels like days. You can come over and over and never go soft. I’m sorry, I should have explained before we started this. We found it fascinating, but not everyone likes to dive head first into the unknown. It’s our oversight, it won’t happen again.”

Oswald nods. Understandable. “You said I Was going to be a mess when I wake up.”

There’s no question there but they get the drift. Information requested, knowledge given freely. 

“No mess to clean up in here,” Riddler explains with a grin, “but your physical body does somewhat experience the sensations of your mind. So we’re projecting you’re going to wake up having come into your pants several times.”

Oswald’s eyes bug out our his head, his mouth drops open in a horrified circle before he manages to choke out, “But MARTIN!” 

Ed chuckles and shakes his head, “The room is secured. I promise you, Martin would only open it in the case of extreme danger and he has strict orders as to what to do should that happen.”

Riddler reaches up and pushes OSwald’s fringe off his face. “If you open your eyes any wider the fake one is going to pop right out of your head.”

Oswald glares at them both before relaxing and closing his eyes while they pet at his skin. His eyes springing open again when he hears them kissing. 

Riddler ducking his head to lick at Ed’s nipples while the other man moans and leans into Oswald’s hip to give him more room. Oswald whimpers at the sight of them together. “This is so much hotter than I ever thought it could be.” 

Then Riddler is rising to his knees and nudging Oswald further up on the bed before climbing on top of him. Ed snuggling up close behind straddling Oswald’s legs as Riddler bends his long body over and tangles his tongue with Oswald’s. He has no idea when Ed creates lube out of nothing but he’s suddenly slick and Riddler is sliding down onto his length with a gasp as Oswald fills him up. 

His heart is pounding, this is so much more than he thought he would ever have. But then Ed comes in close behind them and Riddler whimpers into Oswald’s mouth as Oswald feels Ed’s length bump where he’s now deep inside Riddler’s body. 

“Oh,” he breathes out. “Can we? I don’t want to hurt him.”

Riddler smiles against his cheek. “You can, and it won’t hurt me at all because I don’t want it to hurt. We’ll all just go slow and it will be perfect.”

Ed presses in, so slow and smooth as he alternates between petting at each of their bodies. Oswald just tries to keep breathing. Riddler wriggling happily between them with a pleased hum as the stretch loosens and Ed is finally seated inside him, pressed so damn tight next to Oswald he swear he can feel Ed’s heartbeat where they’re joined. 

Ed bends forward to kiss Riddler’s back, Oswald reaching around their lover to pet Ed’s hair with one hand while holding Riddler close with the other. 

It takes them a while to find a rhythm that works for everyone. It’s touch and go for a bit and Oswald thinks if this was reality he’s not sure this would be enough stimulation to keep him hard. 

But it’s not reality and things work out just fine despite his concerns. Riddler rocking back and forth while Ed slips a hand between their bodies to stroke him in time. He can feel it building, clinging to them with all of his strength. There's a quiver in the air itself around them, a buzzing in the back of his head that he wants to go away. 

The room is slipping. Riddler turning to him and pressing his mouth to Oswald’s for one final kiss as they get closer and closer to the end. Oswald tosses his head back, cries out as he comes almost convulsing, before he opens his eye. 

In the safety of their study. 

He’s frantic, almost screaming, confused, disoriented. His hands flailing as he tries to rip the ring off his head in his panic. Then both of his hands are grabbed and pressed to their chest. Oswald turns glazed eyes to his fiancee’s. 

It’s Ed. Ed is here. He’s safe. They’re all safe. 

“Easy, Love,” Ed whispers as he tugs him closer before disconnecting the wire and links holding them close. 

“Riddler?” Oswald questions, still so confused. 

“Resting, but safe and content,” Ed assures him before taking an assessing look at Oswald’s face and murmuring, “Less hallucinogen next time. You’re very sensitive to it.”

“Paranoid,” Oswald rumbles as he looks around. 

“All the time,” Ed nods. “You certainly are. I’ve never been able to rid you of it and this is clearly not the way.”

Oswald slaps at him gently. Not that it matters, he couldn’t make contact if Ed was the size of a wall right now. 

“I’m wet,” he complains as Ed rises to his feet, unlocks the study door, and waves Martin to his room for the evening. 

“You are quite the mess,” Ed comments as he returns to Oswald’s side and helps to heave him off the couch, supporting him as he is so very unsteady. 

“Help me clean up?” Oswald asks as he sways a bit when he tries to walk. 

“Always,” Ed comments before he slides and arm around Oswald and guides him, half carries him, toward the hallway and the bathroom. 

Oswald nearly collapses twice, giggling ridiculously to whole way. 

Ed sighs, “Definitely less hallucinogens if we do this again.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’d like to discuss our end of life terms,” Oswald announces one quiet afternoon while Ed is reading and Riddler is processing a calculation for their newest gadget.

“I’d like to discuss our end of life terms,” Oswald announces one quiet afternoon while Ed is reading and Riddler is processing a calculation for their newest gadget.

“Excuse me?” They question in unison. 

“What we want to have happen when one of us dies!” Oswald exclaims at a much louder volume than the original comment had been expressed in, indicating a level of anxiety about the topic that he is hiding rather well otherwise. 

“Oh,” Riddler comments as Ed puts the book away. They clasp hands in their lap and cock their head to the side. “Is something driving this conversation? Are you unwell?”

Oswald looks very confused by his response, “No. It’s just we’re getting older, well, I am certainly. I was thinking of my mother’s passing and how unprepared I was emotionally and how I had no idea how to really honor her wishes. I was hoping to avoid that for us by having an understanding of what each of us wanted.”

“Ah!” Ed murmurs. “I understand now, please proceed, what are you wishes and expectations?”

“I’d like to be buried near my family,” Oswald answers as he fidgets with his rings. “But I would prefer for there not to be a service. I’m quite over having the people of Gotham sneer behind my back and look down their noses at me. I’ve done everything possible to protect our finances. Martin will be well taken care of and, if you are willing to accept, I’d leave the estate to you for the remainder of your days to go to Martin after your passing.”

“Thank you for the thought,” Ed comments. “But that may not be necessary.”

“Why not?” Oswald asks. 

“I'd like to think that at the time of your passing we might be lucky enough to go with you,” Riddler answers with little emotion. 

“WHAT?!” Oswald screeches. 

“Little Bird,” Riddler soothes, “our son is grown, and we have no plans other than those we make together. You act as though we would be happy you went off to have all your fun without us. We certainly can’t let you enter the afterlife unattended. Who knows what you would get up to then?”

“But..” Oswald whispers. 

“No, Love,” Ed replies with a shy smile. “Truth is, we are better together. For us, we go with you or not at all. Hail of gun fire, explosion, poisoned gas, we care little for how it ends as long as we are together at the time.”

“But, what if it's something like a heart attack or stroke or just old age? Then what happens to you? You know what? I don't care! I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” Oswald snaps. 

“Alright,” Ed replies, reaching for the book again. 

“It’s NOT ALRIGHT!” Oswald bellows so hard the pictures on the wall shake. 

“Oh dear,” Ed murmurs as he puts the book back down. “Here we go.”

Oswald lurches to his feet as he shouts, “THE INSANITY OF YOU BOTH. TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT. YOU WANT TO GO OUT LIKE BONNIE AND CLYDE? CAN’T I EVEN GET A MOMENTS PEACE WHEN I’M DEAD?! NO! YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW RIGHT BEHIND ME? WHAT ABOUT MARTIN? WHAT ABOUT GOTHAM? WHAT ABOUT BRUCE? DID YOU EVEN THINK OF THEM?”

“You can’t seriously be bringing BRUCE into this.” Riddler laughs. “He’s well past grown and he doesn't even really like us.”

“But you could still help him!” Oswald snaps. “After I’m gone. Your life could still have meaning.”

“I don’t want my life to have meaning, Oswald!” Ed snaps back. “I just want my life to have YOU and if it doesn’t then it’s not good enough.” 

“This is ridiculous,” Oswald huffs as they stare at each other. “Clearly, you will have to die first. You simply cannot be trusted to manage your own affairs.” 

“And what will you do after we’re gone?” Riddler asks with a grin. Frankly, he enjoys the arguments. 

“Mourn you like a pitiful widow for the rest of my days,” Oswald nearly spits at him. “As any decent person should.”

At that Riddler rolls his eyes. Ed tries to roll them the other way at the same time and Oswald is faced with a single body with its eyes literally spinning. 

“It’s frankly disturbing how you do that,” he comments when they stop. 

“It gives us a headache,” Ed comments. “Besides, you have no intention of following the suggestions of medical professionals so the odds of you being able to outlive me are significantly reduced. Can we move on from this ridiculous discussion now?”

“No,” Oswald says as he gets up and goes to leave the room. 

“Where are you going?” Riddler asks when he notices Oswald heading for their bedroom. 

“To get changed and then to go to the gym,” Oswald says over his shoulder. “IF you insist on this idiocy I simply must ensure you pass before me, this will require me to take better care of myself. I need to eat better and increase my physical activity like that stupid doctor recommended last month.”

“Oh,” Ed comments. “I’ll speak to Olga about the menu and as her to adjust to the low cholesterol meals he indicated were healthier for you.”

“Thank you,” Oswald says begrudgingly as he shuts the door to change. 

After a few beats of silence Riddler whispers, “How long do you think we have before you figures out this was all a plot for him to agree to take better care of himself.”

“Two months,” Ed murmurs back. “Tops. Then he’s going to be upset with us and we will have to get Martin in on it.”

“So we should enjoy this while it lasts,” Riddler nods. 

“I CAN HEAR YOU!” Oswald yells from their room. “Idiots. Now you’re going with me. Come change.”

They sigh. “This is all your fault,” Ed says to Riddler as they head toward the bedroom. “You talk too loud.”

“It was your idea in the first place,” Riddler snaps. 

“You’re both fools. Too smart for your own good,” Oswald laughs. “But you’re mine and I love you.”

“We love you too,” They groan. 

“It’s not so bad,” Oswald smiles as them as they hold up a pair of sweat pants like they might be poisonous. “Carlos is very….entertaining.”

“Who’s Carlos,” Ed questions as Oswald preens in the mirror. 

“My personal trainer,” Oswald answers. “You’ll like him, he’s young and quite attractive.”

“I hate him already,” Riddler huffs. “I hate everything about this. I was not meant to sweat.”

“That’s not what you said last night,” Oswald comments as he pats his lovers on their behind and heads toward the door.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m going to be sick,” Oswald mutters as he makes his way to the doorway.

“I’m going to be sick,” Oswald mutters as he makes his way to the doorway. 

Beside him, Martin, acting as his best man, rolls his eyes and likely prays silently for strength. 

Oswald can’t blame him, he’s a mess. He’s been a mess for days. He will be a mess until this is over. 

Marriage, he’s clearly suited to ...weddings, not so much.

“Why did I even agree to this?” he comments to himself as they approach the small crowd standing in the garden. 

“This was your idea,” Alfred mutters as he moves to usher Oswald toward where Riddler and Ed are waiting. 

He’s momentarily distracted by how gorgeous these men he is marrying look in the sun. They make a fantastic picture. Magnificent. 

Oswald comes to stand before his grooms and blurts, “I feel like an ugly duckling.”

Riddler smirks, “Funny,” he whispers, “You look like a beautiful swan.”

Oswald blinks. Ed brushes his knuckles against the side of Oswald’s face and says, “the white becomes you.”

He flushes like a school girl. 

The ceremony is small and mostly traditional. Oswald wanting to do something that honored his mother and Ed wanting to have a public display of their bond. Riddler, really not caring one way or the other, taking the opportunity to indulge the two men that he has already thought of as his spouses.

“Do you have anything you’d like to say?” Lucius asks when they get to the part about the rings. After all their jealousy and suspicion he has become a trusted friend to each of them and was the logical selection to cement their bond. 

Oswald swallows around a huge lump in his throat. “My mother always hoped for the best for me. She insisted that love would find me somehow, and that when it did I would be safe and whole and happy. I don’t think love made me any of those things. Love made me weak and afraid, love made me angry, and finally, I believe I have found for myself the peace she wished for me the whole of my life. Edward, you challenge me in so many interesting ways. The first of which being that you convinced me somehow to care for you in the first place when historically all of my affection had been reserved for my mother. You found me at my worst and cared for me, convinced me to live, to fight, and see some of the joys in life again. Then you shot me and tossed me into the river.”

Ed’s face turns red but he smiles. 

Someone behind Oswald bursts into a frantically choked back laughter. 

“Seriously,” Oswald huffs, “I have found you and lost you only to find you again. You’re mine as I am yours, and that is just how it has always been and will always be. And for that you have my eternal devotion, my gratitude, and my hand in marriage with no regrets.”

He slips the band onto Ed’s hand with shaking fingers. 

Ed closes his eyes and exhales before he says, “Loving you, in the way we are now, took a long time for me. Oswald, you have always been an arrow shooting off in the dark. You know your path and you dedicate yourself to it fully. I second and triple check every single decision of my life. So imagine my surprise when I was reviewing my life choices in our long incarceration and kept coming back to you over and over again. I’m a smart man, I can tell you the answers to a million equations, but it took me almost fifteen years to figure out I love you more than the air we breathe. I know not many people would describe you as a patient man, but I think of you that way. If not for your patience I wouldn’t have the joy I have now and for that you have my heart, my mind, and my soul for the rest of eternity.”

Oswald wells up like a giant baby as soon as Ed slips the ring on his finger and leans down to kiss him there in front of those people they have come to love. 

It’s Ed that kisses him, but Riddler that pulls back and grins down at him as he draws himself up to his full height. Oswald watches Riddler look out among the crowd with a calculating gaze. “I know I’m supposed to be whispering something really tender to Oswald right now, but I need you all to know that BOTH of these men are mine. Mine to love, mine to protect, mine to avenge, mine to serve. I will dedicate myself to their care entirely for the rest of my existence. Know then, even if Ed is in the driver’s seat of our body, I am watching. Should anyone ever cross either of them my vengeance will be brutal and swift.”

Oswald chuckles at the look of shock on the faces of some of those in attendance. 

Riddler turns to him with the most tender look on his face. “I love you Oswald. You made me a real boy and there is nowhere else I would rather be than by your side and in your arms.”

Oswald smiles as Riddler slips the ring on his finger. 

“Ed,” Riddler whispers, only just loud enough for Oswald to hear, “I have loved you forever. We have shared our biggest fears, our most painful moments, and I’m shaken to my core that I’m allowed to share this happiness with you now as well. Thank you, and know you are as vital to me as air.”

There are tears, Oswald knows some of them are his. “I love you, Riddler,” he murmurs, tugging the taller man down to kiss him and slide the ring onto his new husbands hand. There’s nothing more to say here, in front of these witnesses. 

Their love is as complicated as it is true. 

He’s dimly aware of Lucius announcing them as husbands. Oswald feels little drunk on his own joy.

Later, they will review the photos from the reception and cringe at some of the things that occurred. 

But what else could you expect from the guest list, made up of mostly bat family and friendly rogues. 

Oswald keeps some of the kinkier pictures for blackmail. 

One can never be too certain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of this series for me. I've loved this journey so very much. 
> 
> Thank you all for your support and encouragement. I look forward to our next story together. I signed up for the Gotham secret santa and have already completed the story for that. It will post on Christmas. 
> 
> That being said, in the spirit of Negotiations, if there is something here you longed to see but it didn't get written, please leave me a comment and I will see what I can do. I enjoy prompts. 
> 
> You've all been so wonderful. Thank you!


	31. Chapter 31

“You want…” Ed sighs, choosing his words carefully. “A what, exactly?”

“A dog,” Oswald rolls his eyes heavenward. Clearly, filled to the brim with exasperation. “Four legs, they bark, fetch things, standard specs are acceptable.”

“I know what they are, Oswald,” Ed actually shivers with distaste. “They...pee.”

“So do you,” Oswald points out. “In fact, if I remember correctly, you were the one who had watersports on their playlist.”

“That WASN’T ME!” Ed erupts, leaping from his chair and waving his arms. “You KNOW THAT!”

“You are adorable when you pout,” Riddler whispers to him from the mirror. “Makes me want to snuggle you and kiss you until you’re blushing pink and your lips are swollen.”

Ed’s eyes track to the mirror. He knows Oswald follows his gaze. For as much as their husband….husband. Ed is still giddy with the ability to use the word. For as much as their husband can’t hear their internal conversations, Oswald has always reacted to Ed’s attention being on Riddler as if he were there in the room and much to Ed’s displeasure, both of his spouses look equally smug right now. 

Riddler shrugs, lifting one elegant shoulder before offering, “I miss having a pet.”

“You mean the dog that ran off and abandoned us?” Ed snaps. 

“He didn’t run off, Ed,” Riddler sighs. “You just weren’t….around for what happened with dad. I was.”

Ed is momentarily stunned into silence. “How much of what I believe about our past isn’t the truth?”

Riddler opens his mouth, shuts it, looks at Oswald as if their husband can somehow save them both from what is surely a deeply painful truth for both of them. Ed feels a shiver running up and down his spine. Riddler is afraid.

“Perhaps,” Oswald suggests as he runs his hand along Ed’s spine, offering comfort. “That is a conversation we should all be prepared for at another time.” 

Riddler nods almost frantically. “Please..” he whispers inside Ed’s mind. 

“Alright,” Ed agrees, feeling a tension that does not belong to him seep from his frame. He’s exhausted suddenly. Worn out by just the concept of what might be coming. “A dog. Really?”

“A small one,” Oswald waves his hand dismissively as though the care of said animal would be less were it tiny. “You won’t even notice it’s there.”

Ed doesn’t respond. He’s too caught up in sorting through his disjointed memories and trying to see where he missed signs, pieces, he should have seen. Being unaware is a terrible concern for him. The man, known for his huge brain and attention to detail lacking something about his own life seems horrible. But he knows…

He knows it’s the truth. 

He also knows he’s lost the battle over pets before it even really began. Better to join them, then, than to be run down by the train that his family could be. 

At least Oswald didn’t want to adopt another child. Ed’s not sure he will ever be ready for something like that. Martin is grown, and sometimes still a handful. God forbid they have grandchildren.

Several days later, Ed finds himself sprawled across the kitchen floor next to a medium sized, stubby, drooling, beast of a thing. He’s quite content with his rescue efforts. Waving a squeak toy in the unimpressed dogs face. 

“You named him Ed.” Oswald sounds as though he may be bordering on a full blown fit. 

“Yessssss,” Ed drags out with a grin, enjoying his spouse's discomfort. “I want you both to always remember why he’s here.”

“Because….” Oswald heaves a sigh before continuing. “Your ego is enormous?”

“My intellect too.” Ed laughs when Oswald makes gagging noises as though he were about to retch all over Ed and the dog. “You like him.”

“He’s fine,” Oswald huffs. “It’s his NAME that’s intolerable.” But still, when he stands and snaps his fingers Ed finds himself all but forgotten and his furry namesake lurches to his feet to follow Oswald out the door. 

“It seems we may not be the only entities trapped within his orbit,” Riddler chuckles in his mind. 

“As it should be,” Ed comments as he scrambles to his feet and brushes off his pants. “We need to talk.”

He can feel the hesitance from his other half. “Are you certain?” Riddler whispers. “These things have been in the past for so very long.”

Ed wraps his arms about himself and squeezes. He can feel the tension ease in Riddler’s side of their frame. “I’m certain.” He assures them both though they can both tell he is nothing of the sort. “I don’t want to hear it, and that’s why I must. Out of respect for your part of our story if nothing else. These secrets you shouldn’t have to bear the weight of them alone. “

They settled in front of the fire that evening. Ed and Riddler wrapped in a favorite quilt of Oswald’s mother and held in their husband’s arms. Drooling mess of dog draped over their legs as Riddler tells a fractured, painful, lonely, tale of how he came to be. Moments so brief in Ed’s childhood where he was gone for such a short amount of time that he didn’t even know Riddler could possibly be there, stretching to days of agony and pain where Ed slept while Riddler stood in for him and took the abuse. Oswald sobbing loudly against the back of their head while he listens, shaking as he struggles to breathe through one terrible night Riddler survived in the bath. Ed takes it in almost clinically. Examining every part of his life, never before seen, brushing it off from the dust that has long since settled on the memories and working them back into the places he didn’t know were holes within his soul. 

Riddler is shaking apart by the time they reach the night Ed and Riddler made their escape to freedom. Ed does his best to hold him close and is so grateful for Oswald’s compassion and emotional openness as he gathers them both up and rocks them with a level of care neither of them ever knew before he found his place in their lives. 

“There’s more,” Riddler manages to force out through what sounds like a throat choked with grief. “But, I’d like to stop now, please. I’m afraid.” 

That simple statement alarms Ed more than anything he’s heard in the last hour and a half. “Of what?” Ed asks. He looks to Oswald but finds that Oswald must already know what the fear is about. “Tell me?” Ed asks when Riddler shakes his head and covers his face.”

“He’s afraid there will be less of him now that you know. That if he tells you your whole story you won’t need him anymore and he will disappear.” Oswald’s face glistens with tears and Ed realizes that Riddler is not the only one afraid. 

“Thank you, both of you,” Ed whispers as he touches them both as though they are wounded animals, carefully, gently. “But you are both idiots.”

Oswald blinks as he stares off into space, clearly stunned. Riddler freezes as though moving would somehow break the spell. “Pardon?” He finally manages to gasp out. 

“My whole story?” Ed huffs. “MINE?! We clearly need to do more work on self esteem. This is OUR story, Riddler. I’m not trying to absorb you. I’m trying to understand you. I know I’m decades late to the party. But, please, I love you. From the moment you came into being right up through right now, this has always been OUR story. I’m certainly not going to toss you aside just when we are getting to the good part.”

Riddler laughs. Deep in their shared brain Ed can feel the rush of love and relief. He turns and glares at Oswald. “If you sincerely thought the loss of our husband was a likely outcome you should have told him to lie.”

“I did,” Oswald smiles. “He said he loved you too much for that. I was voting for raised by wolves.” 

And that’s it, really. A semi same man can only take so much before falling into the pit of insanity with everyone else. Ed turns in the circle of Oswald’s arms and tackles him to the floor while tickling the smaller man until he’s schrieking. They laugh together, slinging pillows and trying to trap each other with blankets. Very much wrapped up in their own world. The three of them eventually collapsing together in their blanket fort and sleeping. Too old for such undignified behavior, perhaps, but when have any of them particularly cared?

They wake up the next morning to feathers and pee. 

“Your dog,” Ed sighs as he stretches. “Your mess.” 

He knows Oswald is going to make him pay for this later. That’s half the fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo Ummmm. I might not have been as done with this as I thought. 
> 
> Also, Hi! Long time no see. How's it going?


	32. Chapter 32

“I’ve made a……” Riddler struggles to swallow, the dry click of his throat teasing him with the urge to cough. “Miscalculation.” 

He chuckles then, because he’s alone, and the only person who is around to hear him is equally as trapped in the conundrum as he is. They share the same body.

“When,” His voice coming out cracked and awful. He tries again. “When is Oswald due home?” 

“He’s past time now,” Ed gasps in the back of his mind. Riddle swallows an irrational irritation as he realizes his counterpart, who didn’t even want to do this in the first place, is still very much enjoying himself. Ed moans, long and sweet in his mind and Riddler almost screams at the unfairness of this. 

His arms are shaking, his knees feel utterly raw from the carpet and he curses himself again for his ego when Ed suggested the softest of blankets for them to kneel on and Riddler told him it would ruin the experience. 

Fuck the experience. 

“Ed,” He whimpers. “Eddie, I don’t think I can do it again.” 

“Of course you can,” Ed chuckles. “This is delightful.” 

It’s assuredly...not. 

“I want to stop,” Riddler nearly topples over at the next thrust. Damn him for designing it to pick up force randomly. It makes the penetration hard to prepare for. 

“No you don’t,” Ed comments as Riddler scrambles to get his balance. 

“Yes,” Riddler snaps, “I do!”

“No,” Ed huffs, and Riddler swears he can feel the moistness of his breath against their cheek. “You certainly don’t.” 

“ED!” Riddler snarls when his body pushes back into the next thrust. “It’s supposed to be MY TURN in control.”

“Your need to control is the problem!” Ed murmurs as he soothes his presence across their shared mind. “You spent a month building a fucking machine, of all things, so you could push yourself over your limit. I listened to a whole dissertation about the euphoria of subspace and how excited Oswald would be to see you wrung out, stretched, and waiting. You flat out refused the cushion I offered you and picked out the most horrible color green for the silicone because of course buying a dildo out of a store was too, what did you say? Ah, yes, blase for you. Now you’re three orgasms into what you explicitly detailed as The Ride of Your Life and you’re whining because your knees hurt.”

“My knees don’t…” Riddler breaks off midway to groan in response to Ed shifting the penetration to just the right spot. “Hurt,” he manages to grit out. 

“Liar!” Ed laughs. “They’re my knees too you know.”

“I want to quit,” Riddler snaps. 

“Nope,” Ed singsongs. 

“You don’t know what I feel!!” Riddler snarls. “You think you understand me, but you don’t, Ed! You don’t and I want to stop now.”

“Why?” Oswald asks from the doorway, leaning into the frame to take the weight off his leg. “Are the two of you arguing in the middle of all this?” He waves his hand at them as though to take in the full insanity of the scene. Riddler covered in sweat, lube, and tears. His body shaking, the machine still thrusting inside them. A small puddle of come on the carpet under their body. 

“I’m scared,” Riddler whispers. “And Ed...is being less than helpful.”

Oswald’s eyebrows raise, he nods slowly as though working his way through a complex schematic. Then he says, “Okay.” Crossing the room toward them, limping more than he normally does, Riddler's neck hurts from looking up at him as Oswald approaches. The smaller man sliding a reassuring hand into their hair, down their neck, trailing with a familiar, comforting weight down their spine. 

Riddler exhales more tension than even he knew he was holding, dropping to rest his forehead on the floor. Ed a swirl of confusion in their brain, offering comfort but teeming with anxiety. “You never said the safe word.” Ed whispers. They feel Oswald’s body still at the comment. 

“I…” Riddler doesn’t know why he didn’t. “You’re right.”

“I would have stopped,” falls out of their mouth sounding high and strained with anxiousness. “I’m sorry!”

“Nothing to be sorry for,” Oswald tells them both as he completes what they both realize is an assessment of their machine and reaches out to turn it off.  
Riddler whimpers as his husband pulls them away from it, Oswald's hands petting him everywhere. “In what world,” Oswald asks as he helps them turn and cuddle close to him, uncaring of his suit, the mess, of anything but offering and accepting comfort. “Did you two think this machine was a good idea?”

“I resent that,” Riddler huffs as he clings to Oswald’s jacket. “It was a very good idea the first three orgasms. After that…”

“After that,” Ed finishes. “It became….overwhelming.”

Oswald hums. They sit in silence for a few more moments before he offers, “Impersonal?”

“Terribly,” Riddler nods. Of course, they struggle with a problem for what feels like forever and Oswald sorts them out in less than five minutes. Story of their life. 

He feels the understanding blossom inside Ed as well. “I’m sorry,” Riddler offers to them both. “It was like if I came one more time I would fracture apart and there would be nothing left of me.”

“Perhaps,” Oswald comments. “You would consider addressing your fear of ceasing to be in a more direct and non-sexual way in the future.”

“Oh my God,” Riddler groans. “You saw your therapist today didn’t you? You always come home like this.” He groans, throwing his arms up dramatically as he collapses back across Oswald’s chest as though pained. 

“Ass,” Oswald chuckles before booping his nose.

They sit in comfortable silence for a while, Riddler almost asleep across Oswald’s lap when he feels Oswald’s hand press on his chest as though to hold him down. It’s the only warning he gets before Oswald leans forward and zerberts his stomach until Riddler is howling with laughter. 

They end up rolling across the floor Riddler annoyed that his longer limbs give Oswald a distinct advantage as they scramble. It’s so hard to get himself all balled up where Oswald is a master of this game. 

Eventually, the three of them end up laughing, flat on the floor, stretched out like they plan to make snow angels on the carpet. “Bed?” Oswald offers as he struggles to get back on his feet with a groan. 

Riddler takes a moment to assess himself, and Ed. The fear of earlier in the evening has receded. They are both tired, but content. “Sounds wonderful,” Riddler agrees before limping to the bathroom and pointed ignoring Oswald’s laughter from behind him.  
“I love you,” Ed blurts from the mirror. “I never want you to go away.” 

“I love you as well,” Riddler smiles as his other husband. “I’m sorry I was unable to better explain my turmoil.” They kiss, both of them ignoring the coolness of the glass between their lips. 

Clean and at peace Riddler all but collapses in bed beside his husband, offering as they drift off, "I bet I’m still loose in the morning if you want me then.” 

Oswald doesn’t reply, Riddler assumes already asleep and he curls himself around his husband after clicking off the light. 

He wakes in the early light of morning to see Oswald performing a careful assessment of their machine. “Clearly,” Riddler says, somewhat disappointed. “The time spent on this was a mistake.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Oswald answers, sounding intrigued and distracted. “I wouldn’t say that at all.” 

Riddler and Ed are quite full of themselves, several days later, as Oswald’s utter enjoyment of their toy becomes more than apparent to all three of them. 

The carpet never fully recovers.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief mentions of historical bad choices and prostitution. Trigger warning.

Not all days are good days.

Oswald is seriously contemplating putting up a fence around the garden. Something he swore he would never, ever do, mind you. But as much as he is loath to admit it, he is aging and this drooling mess of a stubby legged animal that they now have as a permanent fixture in their lives requires much walking and supervision. 

“I’m done,” Oswald says to the dog when they come in from their third trip out in the rain in one afternoon. “Until Edward comes home if you have to go just poop on a rug. I can buy a new one.” 

He grimaces as he all but collapses into his chair by the fire. All aches and pains on these wet, cold days. His chest is somewhat tight, a reminder to begin the regular use of his inhaler as the weather continues to cool. 

Leave it to him to develop allergies late in life and have them be year round. 

“I’m falling apart,” Oswald comments to himself. “One day soon something other than my hair is going to recede to the point it falls out.”

And oh, he’s so looking forward to that.

The door opens and Oswald feels his spirits lift as he turns to greet his husband with a smile. But Ed looks shaken, and it is clearly Ed in the driver's seat, Oswald can tell by the clenched jaw, flushed face, and red rimmed eyes. Ed’s hair is messy as though he’s been pulling it. Riddler would never leave this much of a crack in their exterior. “Ed?” Oswald asks as he opens his arms. “What happened?” 

He doesn’t even make it to his feet before Ed is clinging to him, the taller man sliding to his knees on the floor in front of Oswald’s seat, his face pressed into Oswald’s lap as deep, wracking sobs come pouring out his mouth. 

Oswald presses frantic hands across every inch of Ed he can reach, but he can find no injury. “What happened?” He repeats as he tugs Ed closer and leans down around him as if to offer shelter.

“Therapy,” Ed manages to choke out as if that one word will answer all of Oswald’s growing concerns. 

It actually rather does. 

“Oh,” Oswald exhales and allows his pounding heart to calm to a more normal pace even while his hands keep up their stroking and petting of Ed’s head and shoulders. “Would you like to tell me, or leave it between the two of you? Either is fine, Love.”

Ed takes a shuddering breath before launching into a tear filled tirade. “I’m so ANGRY at him, Oswald. He took a whole year of my life away. He made me sleep for a whole YEAR while he managed things on his own. Things he should have never had to do on his own. Decisions he never should have made by himself, with our body, without my participation. He had no right to decide what was best for me. He had no clue what that was, we just lacked life experience then and his EGO, his damnedable hubris, driving him to make choices for us that I never would have agreed to!”

Oswald nods, he swallows and tries to calm himself before commenting. He hopes beyond hope that Edward is so upset he is missing the way Oswald’s struggling to control his anxiety. “You’re angry at him.” Oswald repeats slowly. “He pushed you to sleep for a year while he managed your body and you didn’t know until now that he had done so.”

They’ve discussed this, practiced it between them. Ed’s duality making it difficult for Oswald to support both his spouses when they are at odds. Especially over something so...significant. Something bad enough that Riddler had felt the need to warn Oswald it would be coming up soon. He had selfishly hoped it would not be this soon. 

Ed nods, miserable and oblivious as he clings to Oswald’s offered security. 

“What else?” Oswald forces himself to ask. There is always more, especially with Ed. They’ve all come to learn over time that Edward will always begin with what he believes is the most acceptable explanation of emotional distress. Social expectations trained into him from a young age keeping him from being entirely open and truthful until he keeps turning it again and again. 

“I’m angry FOR him.” Ed hisses. “They used him. Those men. He sold himself to feed us. Oswald! For a YEAR! Leaving me to sleep while he whored himself to provide. He was barely grown, Oswald. I hate the world. I hate people. Everyone is so cruel. And I hate myself a little. My younger self. How ignorant could I be? I overlooked the bruising, the battered knees, the way people looked at me. I never cared. That’s the truth of it. I NEVER cared what he had to endure so long as I was spared. How can you love me? How can either of you love me? I’m just as horrible as everyone else.”

Oswald breaks at that, gathers his husband close and pressing kisses to his soaked head. “No, Ed. You’re not horrible. Not any more than I am, than Riddler is. We paved our way here on our mistakes, or missteps, our flaws, and all of us have more than our share. But we’re better now. Together. Stronger. Even if life remains unchangeably unfair. We aren’t alone.”

“He shouldn’t have done it,” Ed huffs as he calms and slides out of Oswald’s lap to rest on his knees. “Not any of it. Not one second.” 

Oswald stares back at him unmoving.

“You don’t agree with me,” Ed snorts. “Do you?” He wipes his eyes. 

“It’s not my place to agree or disagree.” Oswald sighs. “We all agreed my opinion isn’t helpful when it comes to your historical choices.” 

Ed nods. Takes several breaths in and out before nodding again and rising to his feet and offering Oswald a hand up from his chair. “You’re right. Thank you. I’m raw and vulnerable and itching for a fight. I appreciate you choosing not to give one to me.”

“If you want a fight,” Oswald grins as he squeezes Ed’s hand, “Perhaps we can take off these wet clothes and have a bath together. I can spend the time justifying my purchase of a tastefully ornate and yet still hideous fence around the property in order to allow for the beast to not require an escort on his every outing.”

They head for the stairs. 

“Absolutely not,” Ed snaps as he gets tugged along. A small grin hovering around his mouth, trying to decide if it would like to break free. “We agreed. Fencing is too much like dog incarceration and we all agreed we had spent enough time being incarcerated.”

Oswald nods, but keeps going just to provide the requested debate. They end up having a lovely row in the tub over his completely fictitious selection of bronzed wrought iron. 

He feels far more at peace when they slip into bed and Ed slides into dreams. Oswald leaves the light on, but puts his book to the side. His role as husband remains not yet completely fulfilled. 

“I’m sorry,” Riddler whispers, sounding strange and sad as he takes over their body. “Are you ashamed of me?”

“We’ve had this discussion,” Oswald reminds his spouse as he pulls Riddler close. “You know my answer.”

“Tell me again,” Riddler whispers as he wraps his too-long arms around Oswald. “Remind me like I forgot.” 

“You never forget,” Oswald murmurs into his hair before pressing his lips to the top of Riddler's head. “And that, Old Friend, is the problem. I love you. All that you have done to bring you to this moment, this place in my heart, in my bed, in my arms, is worth it to me. You are both so precious, so loved, so perfect in your flaws and mistakes. Everything I ever wanted. The only one I ever wanted. Nothing will change that. No amount of history, not endless bad choices, not dark alleys with empty bellies and desperation on your tongue. EVER. But it’s not me you need to ask, is it? You already knew my answer.”

Riddler nods, tears leaking out against Oswald’s chest. 

He turns off the light, sleep is long in coming to them both. 

Oswald wakes as the dawn breaks to whispers of “forgive me?” and replies of “Yes. Always.”

Not all days are good days. 

He smiles and decides to sleep in. 

Not all days are bad.


	34. Chapter 34

“I’m going to get you,” Ed comments one morning while they are making coffee in the kitchen. 

Oswald freezes. His eyes slowly moving to glare at his husband, only barely able to make him out in the corner of his eye. 

“You’ve threatened me with that many times,” Oswald sighs as he puts down the delicate porcelain cup holding his coffee and moves it out of the line of fire, just in case. 

“But this time,” Ed huffs. “I really mean it.” 

Oswald swallows, inhales and exhales the tension in his body while he tries to plan his next move. It’s movement that’s the problem, you see? One shift in his body weight and Oswald KNOWS Ed will be on him. Whatever he’s going to do now, if he wants to win this battle, it has to be planned out in its entirety before he takes the first step or it’s all over before it’s begun. 

“Of course you do,” Oswald shakes his head. “That’s what you always tell me right before you do something terrible to me.” 

“Yes,” Ed agrees as he finishes his coffee out of a much more traditional and therefore hideous coffee cup before placing it in the sink for later as though he is asking about the weather instead of planning a full on assault on the man he loves. “But it never seems to really stick with you.” 

“Maybe you should learn from that,” Oswald offers before making his decision about his potential escape route. 

“You have to run out of lives eventually,” Ed shrugs. “I assume, if I keep at it, I will eventually be successful. Statistically.” 

“I don’t understand statistics,” Oswald says before tossing his plate full of eggs at Ed’s head and barrelling out the kitchen door into the body of the house in a full on run. 

“Clearly,” Ed sighs as he takes off his now very stained jacket. Muttering to himself, “I have got to quit warning him,” before striding after his fleeing love. The adventure begins. 

Two hours later, Oswald is aching all over, filthy from a never to be mentioned again trudge through the pond in their ever expanding garden, and wedged without dignity or grace into the empty wine barrel he found in the garage and refurbished into an art piece three months ago. He’s wet and tired, but reasonably certain he’s misled Ed into believing he went the whole other direction. That was an hour ago. Unfortunately, Oswald has only recently discovered he’s unable to get himself back out of said barrel without help. And his only help is currently after him. 

“You’re stuck,” Ed chuckles as he raps his cane against the side of the barrel when he arrives a half hour later. “I win.”

“You never win,” Oswald snaps, peckish and terribly annoyed at his own misfortune. 

“There’s a first time for everything,” Ed answers, full of grandiose presentation to the point that Oswald heaves himself to one side of the barrel before slamming himself into the opposite side knocking himself, the barrel, and Ed to the floor and shrieking as the barrel starts to roll off his husband to God knows where. 

“I’ve got you,” Ed laughs. The barrel stills, a few scant seconds later the lid is removed and Oswald is grateful for Ed’s lack of commentary about how hideous a sight he must make as he clamors out and collapses onto the lush, overly ornate, rug. 

“Say it,” Ed commands as they lie there panting. 

“No,” Oswald huffs.

“Say it,” Ed repeats as he turns over and starts to crawl toward Oswald’s prone form.

“Never.” Oswald shakes his head as he lashes out at Ed with his good leg to try to keep him at a distance. 

“SAY IT,” ED orders as he grabs Oswald’s leg, rips his shoe off, and throws it across the room before tickling his foot as Oswald screams. 

“YOU WIN!” OSwald howls through his laughter as he slaps at the other man. “I hate you, and you win.”

“No you don’t,” Ed argues as he climbs up Oswald’s body to kiss him. “You love me.”

“I do,” Oswald sighs as he tugs his husband down to kiss him, only to have Ed pull back at the last second and ask.

“Why do you smell like you’ve been swimming in the pond?” Ed asks as his face transforms into something resembling disgust. 

“No comment,” Oswald deadpans before shoving the taller man off onto the floor and struggling to his feet. 

“Bath?” Ed offers as he follows behind Oswald picking up the clothing the older man pulls from his body and drops across the house as they make their way to the bathroom. 

“Please,” Oswald whines as he struggles to kick off his shoes and pull off his damp socks. 

“The pond,” Oswald admits as he waves his sock as though it was a white flag. 

“I’ll have to take that into account next time,” Ed nods as though to file it away for later. 

Oswald can’t help but smile as he watches his oldest friend, most terrific enemy, and only love wander into the bathroom as he mutters to himself while he begins to pour their bath. 

The house is trashed, he’s hungry, and his old joints and twisted leg are killing him. He hobbles after Edward commenting, “We have a wonderful life.”

He’s even more pleased when Ed agrees with a brilliant smile. 

The housekeeper is going to kill them both.


End file.
